Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Give it Up for Our Office Spouses!

I don’t know how I’d survive the work place without them. If you don't know what an office wife is, here's a little article. Every office job I’ve had has required me to attain an office wife. Sometimes I find them. Sometimes they find me. The point is we find each other in the crazy corporate world. We listen to each other’s problems and give advice. We give knowing looks when the boss says or does something stupid. We cover for each other when the boss goes on a rampage and stick-up for each other when the other is getting the shaft. Thanks to them we don’t bore our significant others with office talk, we don’t go postal at the office, and the day moves a little quicker. Through the years, all of my office wives have helped me become the tolerable person I am today. While I love them all, none have excelled at being an office wife as Megan has.

Megan came in at the beginning of season two. At that time my office wife was Annie. I was trying to get Dal the job that Megan was applying for, so I was slightly disappointed. Then she kept talking to me and asking me questions. No matter how short my answers were or how grumpy I was she didn’t relent from being friendly. Then Annie got fired and I needed another office wife. The office divorce is so much easier. Anyway, with Megan’s gift of baking and the flowers she gave me after my Mom died she won me over. We then proceeded to become
office husband and wife.

She taught me to notice when a women changes her hair or wears something new. I helped her and her husband with their stereo set-up. She knows my moods and how to handle them. I let her discuss her frustrations when work gets her down. When I had a big date she stayed late and covered for me. But best of all, once a month I get a personal batch of Megan's brownies. It's a wonder her husband's not Orca fat. Currently, Megan has moved on to bigger and better things in the production building. Still, we try to visit every day, and share our gossip and complaints. Eventually, I will need to find another office wife. I apologize to whoever that will be because you'll have some big shoes to fill.

Side Note: There is one possible negative if you become my office wife. If a certain old flame and I bump into you in Santa Monica, the old flame will probably act like she wants to rip out your jugular. But the chances of that are like one in a million unless your name is Megan.


faith said...


It's always good to ahve someone to vent with. Esspecially about work!

Keymaster said...

I've never had an office husband. Only office wives - is that hawt or sad?

bobby said...

Starting Monday, Feb 6, I can be your office wife. We can honeymoon in the copy room at your convenience.