Hunt for the Elusive White X!

This upcoming Monday through Tuesday I will be going on an adventure of sorts. I have been given a quest that I’m not certain I can complete. Monday at midnight my search will begin. My prey, my trophy, my destiny is the X-box 360. My soul has waged war with itself over should I or shouldn’t I wait till Christmas for the X-box 360. I can tell you now that the dark side has won. I have succumbed to my impatience and that fallen angel Dominic’s beguiling voice. My heart has turned, and nothing can bring me back. I shall retrieve my own X-box 360 from the clutches of those pimply teenage cave trolls, and spoiled princes. From the Spanish style homes of Manhattan Beach to grassless yards of Long Beach I will search wide for my X-box 360! I make this promise to you! If I do not have that X-box 360 by 10am on Nov. 22 then I will…simply have to wait like every other normal person. Perhaps I will do a post on my adventure? That should bore everyone.

Ramblings

I’m having second thoughts on this high school reunion thing. It’s most likely because I found out it’s taking place at something called the Rusty Bucket. Perhaps it’s just because I’ve been spoiled by my works wrap and Christmas parties, but the Rusty Bucket? At least I won’t have to dress up.

I know I’m in the minority on this, but the Hummer H3 commercial with the monster an robot giving birth to an H3 creeps me out. I appreciate the effort and the sense of humor. It still creeps me out.

This was the scene outside my office today. Only in Hollywood would there be people walking a chimp in front of a donkey dressed like a human. There were some attractive models walking around, but they didn’t want to be photographed. Off! Man I love this town.

I’m not pleased with all this talk of trading for Mench from the Texas Rangers. Sure he’s not an all or nothing guy like Burnitz, but can’t we do better? Are they still not sold on the Big Murt playing left? Dusty Baker is clearly the Larry Brown of the MLB.

We are two weeks into sweeps with two more to go, and Lost has sucked the bag. Not only has it been boring, but it’s been predictable. Invasion has done a better job of giving answers that only lead to more questions. I know it’s viewed as Lost’s bastard cousin, but I’ve been more entertained by the small town Invasion of the Body Snatchers ripoff than the “We Don’t Know What We’re Doing” Lost. Here’s the problem. People want show to run as long as they can as long as it’s a hit. But you never know if your show will be a hit until it airs. So you throw a whole bunch of twists and turns to gain an audience. Once you become a hit, you’re stuck having to then pull back on the twists so as not to run out of story. I would like to see a show outline a five year plan. The show will run exactly five seasons and no longer than that. This way there’s no spinning your wheels to stretch out the seasons.

I forgot to mention a few minor celebrities I saw during my hiatus.

I saw the guitarist for System of a Down, Daron Malakian, at Amoeba. If I was an angry young man who hated the world I might have cared. One thing I've noticed is celebrities always buy albums in bulk at Amoeba. Also, why can't I ever see musicians I car about? Where's Dulli or Beck? They live in LA. Wait. I saw Mark Lanegan. That was pretty cool.

I saw Ron Livingston at the Arclight. This really kind of cool because the night before I bought the Office Space DVD with flair.












Finally I saw Tom Arnold at the premiere of some independent movie he’s in. I’d make a couple jokes at this point about the empty red carpet and other jokes. But the movie was apparently made because Arnold became friends with a kid next door that has cerebral palsy. The kid wanted to be an actor, so Arnold put this movie together for him.

It’s at this point that I realize I’ve posted before about my solution for Lost. .. I think.

Another thing I like about iTunes is that coworkers can listen to my music on their own computer. It does my heart and ego good when people mention how much they enjoy listening to my tunes. It also makes me a little sad when I have to kick someone off when I leave work.

The highlight of my week has been getting a surprise gift from my grandmother. Being the Sewmaster that she is, she made a great jean and flannel blanket. Big ups to grandma!

Hiatus Breakdown

Friday Night:

I kicked off my hiatus with Krystal’s birthday party. I got to hang out with co-workers, former coworkers, and friends, and strangers. Someone sort of offered to set me up on a blind date. I never know how to react to such proposals, so I think my blank stare nixed the idea. The party eventually moved to a bar down the street. One of the pluses of not drinking is all the free Cokes. I also finally got to see Astroglide dance to Hollaback Girl in the middle of the bar. He didn't just show a few moves and stop. He kept on dancing through the whole song. It was genius.

Saturday:

On Keymaster’s suggestion I went to the LA Brewery Artwalk late Saturday afternoon. Not knowing exactly what to expect I gave myself a couple hours to walk around and look at art. Little did I know how huge the event was. This “brewery” is basically an artist commune where the warehouses have been turned into studios and lofts for artists. How is it nobody I know is aware this place exists? I quickly realized that two hours wouldn’t be enough time to see everything. I made sure to first visit Keymaster’s sister and brother in law’s studio first. One of their models ended up being one of my favorites that I’ve seen. I then moved on to see as much as I could. There was every form of art you could imagine. Some of it was pretentious, some boring, and some genius. I’d say I got through about a third of the exhibit. It’s definitely a full day event. I highly suggest going next year. I assume it’s an annual event. It offers art of all types, great people watching, and it’s all free.

I followed up my art experience with my monthly visit to Amoeba and Arclight. I picked up albums from local artists Rex Aquarium and The 88. Since I had to be at a party by 9 this left me with seeing The Weatherman at The Arclight. I once wrote half a script with the intention of making a completely unlikable main character. It didn’t work, and it doesn’t work here. It has its moments, but it didn’t pass my 3 glance watch test.

Speaking of The 88, I bought their first album was excited to see they came out with a new record. They aren't revolutionary but they're fun in a Fountains of Wayne kind of catchy hooks way. Now I'll admit part of my joy was they were a guilty pleasure band that i had all to myself. We've all had these kind of bands haven't we. Well, imagine my dissapointment when I read that they are going to be on the OC.

Now bored into a stupor, I went to a friend’s party thrown to welcome her brother to LA. I knew only two people there, but felt I held my own as the new guy. I need to step outside my comfort zone every now and then. It was one of those great sit around and just talk get togethers.

Sunday:

With Saturday being fairly busy, I decided to simply relax today. What better way to relax than with a double feature? I started off with the great historical drama Goodnight and Good Luck. To end on a bang I saw Kiss, Kiss, Bang Bang. I highly recommend both of them.

The rest of the time I simply relaxed or wrote. I feel slightly revitalized, and am ready to finish the year strong. Thanks for being patient.

G to the double "O" dness

Here's the deal. A couple years ago the boyish men at 3CT and myself concocted "Goodness." It's three comedic shorts about the daily lives of four struggling writers in Hollywood. They are in the vein of "Curb Your Enthusiasim" and "The Office." There were going to be two more episodes, but then Jiff moved, then I moved, and we all ended up with better (paying) options to spend our weekend. I do though still miss the four of us combining our skill and comedic know how to make something people seem to genuinely enjoy. I was recognized more often at Jiff's wedding for being in Goodness than being his roommate. And, I still get asked if there will be any more episodes. The links are in the right hand column.

Now for the technical info. The good news is that I had no problem compressing the shorts into a reasonable windows media file. The bad news is that I've constantly had audio issues in compressing them into a quicktime movie. For the MAC people out there I did put up MPEG's for each episode but they are rather large files, so it may take some time to download. But it's comedy gold, so it will be worth it. Once I'm able to get the quicktime movies working I'll post those in place of the MPEGs. SO, enjoy, and if there are any troubles let me know.

Get The Funk Out!

In case you haven’t noticed through my last couple weeks of posts, I’ve been in a bit of funk. I’ve been trying to dig myself out of it, but the ground is harder than usual. I wish I could pin point one thing as the cause, but it’s probably a few things. The list so far:

I haven’t gone to a movie, concert, or art exhibit in months. That makes my goal this week to see at least three movies this week. There are no concerts of worth in awhile, so I’m going to try to go see some art this weekend, somewhere.

This living in Long Beach has gotten old. The first year was nice, but my time as a hermit is over. I’ve been able to have my “me time,” but its come at the expense of my social life. I’m also tired of driving around half an hour to find a parking spot. It’s come to control whether I do anything or not. This obviously isn’t a quick fix kind of thing. It simply means I’m putting plans in motion, so I can hopefully move when the show goes on hiatus.

I haven’t finished a script in over a year. This is my own laziness and unwillingness to commit to an idea. What’s happened since then? I have a computer full of half scripts. It’s time to get back into my old discipline of writing. It used to take me a month to write a spec script. Now, I’ve spent almost a year on writing one Shield spec. No more excuses on my part. I need to get this shit done.

My schedule is screwed up. I’ve always been a night owl. Apparently, I’ve been one since birth. My schedule right now though is ridiculous. If was actually getting things done it might be different, but these long nights have hindered my work and just my wellbeing. Again I’ve let my discipline slip. I can’t rely on my youth to get me through these long days, because it has obviously left the building.

So, what does this mean? I’m just explaining why I’m taking a week off from blogging. If something strikes me, I’ll throw it up here. Right now it’s time to recharge my creative batteries, and get out for a while. This also means that the posts may no longer be every day. Though it will probably be close to it. So, I’ll see you in a week, when I’ll have some movies to review, and maybe some art to talk about. Thanks as always loyal readers. I appreciate you more than you know.

Ramblings

First off, did anyone happen to see the simulated press conference Sportscenter had for the Red Sox. They had Steve Phillips playing the roll of GM, and he fielded questions from ESPN analysts about what decisions the Red Sox are facing this off season. Monday, they are doing the same thing with the Yankees. I know there have been numerous complaints about ESPN being bias toward the Red Sox and Yankees, but I was never really bothered by it. That is until now. Being a “National” sports network, if you do this for two teams, you need to do this for all the teams. I’m not speaking of just the Cubs either. From Houston to Kansas City, they should all be covered. Actually, the whole thing was just painful to watch. Maybe it’s a good idea they didn’t do this for all teams.

Some of my favorite sounds:
-The laugh my nieces make when I chase them around.
-The sound of the bell when Ohio State has their opponent facing 3rd down. Sure I expect
AC/DC’s Hells Bells to follow, but I also expect the Buckeyes to force a fourth down.
-The sound of my iBook starting

I once went out with a girl whose family had a pet baboon. How do you legally own a pet baboon? The girl ended up being rather crazy. I don’t know why I was surprised by that.

Why is it every supposed good football match-up always end up in a blowout. The Miami/ V. Tech game being another example.

I’ve recently been playing Resident Evil 4 on the PS2. I got it because it was thoroughly praised by the press. I’m about halfway through and I’m fairly under whelmed. It might be the most overrated game of the year. Yes, it looks outstanding. Yes, the story’s pretty cool. I find myself constantly frustrated rather than challenged by the difficult parts of the game. Also, I should be able to run. Really, if I’m facing some giant troll like creature, I should be able to do more than just walk. I know most will give this game of the year, but they’re wrong. The game of the year is a toss up between God of War and Shadow of the Colossus.

I’m a bit of a hypochondriac.

A “bit” is an understatement.

I admit it. Sometimes I will watch wrasslin’ every now and then. In fact I still daydream sometimes about being a professional wrestler. Even though Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat was my favorite wrestler when I was a kid, I’d want to be a heel. It’s always more fun to play the bad guy.

I went to a party Saturday night where a grown man took the game Celebrity too seriously. That always makes for an awkward moment.

For some reason today the theme song to 3-2-1 Contact popped into my brain. “Contact…is the answer…to the question…” The Bloodhound Gang was another thing that made me want to become a P.I. I still remember that one of the clues was written out on a belt, but to read it the gang had to wrap it around a cane.

Yet Another Tale from Minimum Wage

The first real job I ever had was as a janitor of a small office building. I was a junior in high school, and worked with my friend Karl. It wasn’t that bad of a job except for the toilets. Karl and I would show up after school, hang out for an hour talking about women (Kama and Wendy specifically), music, and comic books. It took less than two hours to clean the place if we really worked at it. Basically it paid for my CD’s and comic books. Also, I’ve always wanted to say “I cleaned toilets for a living.” Then they finally leased out the basement offices.

The first company was a couple guys who sold vacuum cleaners. Every time I ran into them, they would try to sell me these supposed miracles of vacuuming. I don’t know why they thought a teenager would want a vacuum cleaner. Karl would later on be wooed by the apparent cash cow of vacuum cleaners and started working for them. I think it lasted a month. My main problem with them was that they smoked a lot. This meant I had to vacuum their office everyday. Hmm? That kind of makes sense now.

The real character was the guy who ran the “modeling agency.” My question was why do you need a modeling agency in Columbus, Ohio? The second question was why were they in the basement? The guy who ran the “agency” was some Middle Eastern guy who always wore flashy Lycra shirts. Not that he was ever there. Weeks would go by, and there would be no sign of him. The best was his lame attempt to make the office look like a model agency. This extent of his decoration was putting up Kmart clocks for NY, Tokyo, London, and Munich I think. The clocks had their corresponding name spelled out in those shiny stencils used for mailboxes. Half the time the clocks didn’t even work. The other half they didn’t even have the right time. There were also random headshots spread out on the table in the “meeting room.” These headshots were always in the same place. They never moved. Also, none of them had their resumes on the back. How strange is that? A couple times there were some women there with think Eastern European accents. They looked tore up. There was no way they were models even by Ohio’s standards. This lead Karl and I to believe the “modeling agency” was a cover up for drug running or human trafficking.

With my dream of being a private investigator still intact at that age (I read too many Encyclopedia Brown Books), I set out to find evidence of this man’s evil doings. I thumbed through folders that just contained more head shots, tried to unlock his desk, and just snooped around. I’d like to say that I came up with highly incriminating evidence that helped the FBI bring down one of the largest human trafficking organizations, but I didn’t. If I actually had money and a car I’m certain I would’ve broken the case or been arrested for trespassing. It’s at this point I realize how pointless this story is.

Bits O' Music

This song comes from a power pop compilation called Yellow Pills: Prefill. I recommended this album last year. In fact it placed in my top ten. It’s chock full of catchy sugar coated rock n’ roll. I imagine if Billy Joel lead T. Rex this is the kind of songs they would write.

Jack Stack a Track-Good Time Music-Yellow Pills: Prefill

If you are an artist or artist representative being featured on this blog and want me to take down a song, let me know, and it will be removed from the server immediately.

Look Who's All Growds Up!

Believe it or not, it’s been exactly a year since I’ve started this blog. It’s taken awhile for this thing to get going, but I thank you for sticking with it. Now let’s thank some specific people. First, thanks go to Krystal. If she hadn’t have started her blog, there probably wouldn’t have been a Throwaways. Second, I need to thank MOL Jr. for supporting this blog by being first to put a link for Throwaways on his blog. Which leads me to thanking those regulars of MOL Nation. Keymaster, Faith, Diva, PLW, thanks for hanging out, and supporting the illegitimate son of MOL Nation. Then there’s the 3CT boys, who were the first regulars. Thanks Tim for being the first to ever comment. (Imagine the music kicks in right now as they try to get me off the stage, so I start talking really fast) Thanks Bobby for upping the funny on this with the comments. I don’t think Jiff knows this exists, but I’ll thank him anyway since he got his own post. Second to last there is Bob who I now never have to say anything to because he consistently reads this blog. Finally, thanks Mandy, Ben I, and the rest of the family who have often become unwilling subjects. (I exit stage left with the trophy girl wondering if this blog award gig will actually get her that commercial)

Now I get to mail the rest in by putting links to some of my favorite posts of the last year. Again there is no order to these.

Here’s the first (real) post of Throwaways.

My first baseball and childhood post all wrapped up in one mediocre bundle.

The first (and the best) StikfasBrad post.

The scariest post of the year.

A personal favorite

My absolute favorite post is actually one that I didn’t write. In this one Mandy was able to accomplish what I wanted to in fewer words and with better style.

Thanks again. Here’s what you have to look forward to next year: Tim and Bobby tributes. (Don’t worry guys. They will be separate posts.) The awkwardness of attending a high school reunion. Holiday cheer. Even more baseball posts. Lots of unwarranted opinions. And of course more embarrassing stories. Thanks again.

Damn You Zombie Kitten!

Every now and then I will have a serial dream for about a week. I don’t know how it happens, but I end up having a dream that begins where last night’s ended. My current serial has dealt with the wonderful world of zombies. Up until last night I have been defending a house against zombies, and not just human zombies. The night before I thought I had finally rid the house of all things human and beast that was zombified. Last night I was doing a final sweep of the house. Everything appeared to be in the clear till I came across a vent in the floor. I remember feeling proud of myself for not being bitten or hurt by zombies. The cats in the house scurried toward the open vent and started eating something. I kneeled down to see the cats were eating an already dead cat. At least it was dead till it became a zombie cat. “Oh shit!” I shouted. Sure enough all the cats that were eating the zombie cat became themselves zombie cats. I grabbed a large bag to catch the zombie cats. I moved swiftly and caught one. Yes! I dodged a couple as they came after me, and scooped them up in the bag. I thought I had caught them all till I glanced over my shoulder to see a zombie kitten perched on a desk. Sure enough it jumped on my back. Its claws dug deep but not as deep as its bite. I shook the kitten off, and finally caught it up in the bag. I quickly killed the zombie cats before I myself turned into a zombie. Sitting alone, I rebuked myself for being bitten. I was so stupid. I awoke right before zombification. The lesson learned: Never turn your back on a zombie kitten.

My Favorite Games

Watching ESPN Classic this weekend I got to thinking. If they let me choose five games of any sport to air, what would they be? I placed a few rules in to narrow it down. First, it had to take place while I was still alive. Second, I had to have actually seen the game and not some highlight package or retrospective. Third, this is a personal list and not a historical list. Again, they are in no particular order.

May 6, 1998: Houston Astros vs. Chicago Cubs:

Kerry Wood’s 20 strikeout game. I remember rushing home to watch the game. The phenom Wood was pitching and I wanted to see the hope of the future pitch. He had been recently called up about a month ago from the minors. There was debate about if he was ready for the big leagues. What wasn’t up for debate was his stuff. You know in the first inning when a pitcher is on his game. Watching the break on Wood’s curve and slider was evidence enough that it would be a long day for the Astros. It was actually a 2 hour and 19 minute day, but I’m sure it felt longer than that. After watching that game I actually had hope for the Cubs. I don’t know what I was thinking.

October 15, 1988: World Series: Oakland Athletics vs. Los Angeles Dodgers:

This is perhaps the greatest postseason HR in my lifetime. I still get goose bumps when I see highlights. With the underdog Dodgers down by one run in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs and a man on, who is sent to the plate but the gimp Gibson. With two bad knees he hobbled to the plate. Who knew he would smack the game winning HR off the unhittable Eckersley? I’m certain nobody did, not even Lasorda. I remember watching with my Dad as he rounded the bases and pumping his fist. It’s one of those moments that proved how great and improbably baseball can be. This game also had Canseco hitting a moon shot grand slam that dented one of the cameras in the bleachers.

Jan. 1, 1997: Rose Bowl: Ohio State 20, Arizona State 17:

I was debating between this game and the National Championship game in 2000 as my Ohio State game. It’s a really tough choice, but for sentimentality reasons I’m going with this one. Ohio State’s bid for a National Championship was cut short once again by Michigan. Still the Buckeyes were able to go to the “grand daddy of them all.” My Dad and I watched, and rode the rollercoaster of emotion in this game. From the go ahead TD on the “Baby Face” Germaine pass to Stanley, to the gut punch as the Sun Devil’s Jake Plummer ran into the end zone with 1:40 left in the game. I was nearly in tears as I watched the Buckeyes with 1:19 left, march down the field and score the game winning moments. It’s one of those great father/son sporting moments for me.

January 3, 1993: Playoffs: Buffalo Bills vs. Houston Oilers:

The greatest comeback in NFL history. At least that’s what they always say on NFL films. It was really amazing to see a backup quarterback take a team down 35-3 early in the second half to a 41-38 OT victory. I would have never believed it myself, if I hadn’t have seen it. Years later when the Oilers became the Titans they would enact their revenge with the Music City Miracle.

October 5, 2003: NLDS: Chicago cubs vs. Atlanta Braves:

For first time in my life I got to see the Cubs win a playoff series. The fact that they did it against the dreaded Atlanta Braves was just icing. Being a Cubs fan, I waited for the inevitable collapse to happen. It didn’t happen as Wood shut down the Braves for eight innings, and Borowski closed out the ninth. For days I was riding that baseball bliss till the inevitable finally happened. Shudder. So close. So close.

Ramblings

First off, some have asked why would my brother Ben refer to himself as Ben I. The reason is that I have two brothers named Ben. No, my mother didn’t run out of names. The other Ben is my step-brother. As stated before in this blog, my family doesn’t really view each other as step-siblings or half-siblings. We are in fact one big happy family, usually. To help identify which Ben had gotten in trouble we came up with Ben I. and Ben K. The letter obviously being the first in their last name. Yes, Ben K. fought against this since Ben K. quickly turned to Ben Gay. Now that the sophomoric version has become history, he’s accepted the Ben K. name. To finally differentiate the two:

This is Ben I.












This is Ben K.









Once more, Ben I.












Ben K.












As for my Halloween costume I “mailed it in” and just went as giant Brad. Of course this meant I had to constantly explain why I was carrying a helicopter, and had army men dangling from string. I feel like I let myself down. At least it was somewhat original, which is more than I can say for the multiple pimps, playmates, and sexy angels/devils that were in attendance at the party.

Seeing highlights from the Florida and Virginia Tech games, I thought I was watching “Any Given Sunday.” The Nike designers need to lay off the LSD. Who the hell thinks these are cool?

I hate to admit it but I actually got a little misty eyed as I finished the game Shadow of the Colossus. I don’t want to give anything away, but the ending is rather satisfying, even if it is a very Japanese ending.

So, the Cubs have re-signed Rusch and picked up the options on 2B Walker and P Williamson. The option on Burnitz was not picked up. Other than the Walker option, everything is going as I planned.

Even with all those different pens out on the market, I still comeback to the standard Paper Mate. It’s like an old reliable friend.


I forgot to change my clock for daylight savings, and still showed up on time for work rather than an hour early.

I find it odd that we are getting out of work early for Halloween, though it makes sense for those who want to spend it with their kids.

Happy Halloween Weekend!

From me, my pumpkin and my bowl cut.

Thank You Fritz the Night Owl!

I am a monster/horror movie fan. One of the biggest reasons for that is Fritz the Night Owl. Fritz hosted the late night movie shows Night Owl Theater and Chiller Theater on WBNS Channel 10 in Columbus, OH. Every weekend, particularly during the summer, my brothers and sister would camp out in living room and watch hours of cult horror and monster movies. At least we would try to stay up till the sound of national anthem and the flag would come on the screen. It wasn't too often we actually made it all the way through. Man those were the days. Fritz would show everything from Twilight Zones to Godzilla to old Hammer films. I didn't Peter Cushing did anything except Star Wars till Fritz showed me the light. It was my first taste of those weird ’60’s horror films, and I loved it. If Mom knew what was actually being shown sometimes, she wouldn’t have been that thrilled. Thank goodness she and my step-father were the “early to bed” type.

Fritz was my guide to all things scary. He’d start off the night telling us a little about the movie in his owl glasses. His soothing yet scary deep voice was what really made Fritz great. Before and after commercials he’d make some odd joke relating to the movie, usually with his face pasted on some odd drawing or comic book, or he’d be sitting on the moon or a rocketship as it floated across the screen. He never went the route of The Ghoul or Dr. Madblood who would waste valuable movie time with dumb skits. Fritz was just Fritz. He was a hero of mine as a kid. He just seemed so cool in his Owl glasses, and that voice. I was so thrilled when I actually got to meet him once. So, thank you Fritz for introducing me to the weird and wonderful world of movies. Fritz is still in Columbus playing jazz show late Sunday nights on the radio. Whenever I'm in town I listen for a little while and recall those childhood nights of fright.

One of the Greatest Video Games Ever Made

There is an art to video games. Everything from controls to sound to characters must be designed well to make a good video game. There plenty of excellent video games that incorporate these elements wonderfully. Every now and then though, a video game can become actual art. Last night I bought such a game. It’s called Shadow of the Colossus. Earlier this year another excellent game called God of War was released. One of my favorite moments is a cut scene when your character leaps onto the last of the Titans. The sense of scale was amazing to see, but you couldn’t actually fight the Titan in that world. In Shadow of the Colossus, you get to do just that and you get to do it sixteen times! But this game is much more than that.

The game begins with your character riding a horse across a wasteland to a temple. In the temple you lay down the body of young woman. Your goal is to bring back her soul. To do this you must defeat the sixteen colossi that inhabit the wasteland. But this isn’t for certain. You are told that even if you complete these daunting tasks, there is no certainty that her soul will be returned. The only thing that makes this even a possibility is your magic sword which shows you the location of the colossi and their weak spots. You then go about your tasks of defeating the colossus. All that you have with you is your sword, bow, and horse.

This game is a lonely game, and I mean that in a good way. There are no hordes of baddies to slash through to reach the colossus. You get your information from an unseen deity. There is nobody but you. The game is simply you and your horse against the colossus. I know it sounds boring to simply ride your horse across a wasteland, but trust me the wasteland is so beautifully designed that riding is half the fun. And your horse looks and handles wonderfully. You traverse across narrow natural bridges, wind blown desserts, and the remains of ancient architecture. It all looks phenomenal, and creates what feels like this wasteland is a prison and the colossi are the inmates.

Which brings us to the colossi. They move and carry themselves how you would imagine a colossus would. The ground shakes and cracks with each step. They also look beautiful. To defeat each colossi you must figure out first how to climb on them. Some of them you have to walk up to and jump on. Some you have to jump onto as you ride by them on your horse. The second colossi you have to shoot in the bottom of the hoof. It’s quite exhilarating to stand with bow ready as the colossi brings its front hoofs to crush you. Once you’ve climbed upon the colossi you must then find the weak spots and strike those spots with your sword. This means climbing around while they try to shake you off. To make this even more complicated is that your grip strength will diminish the longer you hold on. There are locations on the colossi where you can stand or crouch to regain your grip strength. It makes for some wonderfully tense moments while you are thrusting your sword into the head of the colossi and you see your grip meter nearly at zero as he shakes his head trying to through you off. Do you try to make one more strike and possible kill him, or play it safe and climb to a place to rest? Do you have enough grip strength to make it to a safe spot? Even at the safe spot you can still get thrown.

All of this makes for a challenging and completely unique gaming experience. Part of what makes this game great is that it’s different from anything you’ve ever played before. It’s the most cinematic game I’ve ever played. It’s also probably one of the greatest and unique games ever made. This is not for your ADD little brother who needs something to with his hands. This is a work of video game art.

October! I'm Done with You!

This month has been the e-brake month of 2005. So much so, that I’m considering to simply call in sick for the rest of the month. Unfortunately, I have that fear that when you aren’t sick but call in sick you will get sick. My October began with the pipe bomb scare. Then my car was broken into in the middle of the month. Then today I stupidly locked myself out of my apartment complex. Which really isn’t that bad compared to the previous two events. Of course none of my neighbors were home when this happened. I was stuck outside looking like one of the neighborhood bums. I tried to break into my apartment, which became quite a frustrating task. How do break into your apartment building yet look like you should be doing it. I tried to be resourceful and use what was outside my apartment: two rubber bands, and a stick. All three broke. While taking breaks between break in attempts I played the “I’m Waiting For Someone to Get Home” game. This consists of acting frustrated and looking at your watch every time somebody walks by. Throwing out few phrases like: “Where the hell is she?” or “I’m giving him another half an hour then I’m leaving” or the simple “Come on already!” Throwing your hands in the air and looking to sky can be added for dramatic affect. When ever cars came by, I would walk to the curb and look at the car like I was hoping they were who I was waiting for. It became quite a game. I would see the cars coming, go sit on the front steps, and then jump to my feet and run to the curb when the car passed. In between these little mini-games was when would make attempts to break in. I was certain that at any point the cops were going to swarm in and arrest me. I’d have to explain that my wallet and keys were in my apartment, and despite the beard and lack of shoes I wasn’t homeless. This of course never happened, and two hours later the wannabe actor got in from his night job and let me in. Five more days till the end of October. I can’t wait.

Bit O' Music ( Halloween Edition)

A little Halloween music for those who used the excuse it's not secular music it's comedy music.

"Weird Al" Yankovic-Nature Trail to Hell-In 3-D

If you are an artist or artist representative being featured on this blog and want me to take down a song, let me know, and it will be removed from the server immediately.

Scary Moment #3

My “Cujo” Story

This story took place during my years in undergrad. It was summer, and I was watching my sisters, taking them to all their events, and trying to keep them out of trouble. I admit I coasted and slept a lot, but I’d like to think it helped solidify my status as the favorite brother.

I woke up one morning to get the sisters together and get our day started. I stumbled in my just woke up grogginess down to the kitchen. Halfway down the steps I heard my sister Anne Marie, who was 12 or 13 I think, screaming from the back patio. I rushed down to see her standing at the back door in her underwear and covered in blood.

Our Aunt and Uncle lived next door to us at the time. They didn’t really take good care of their place. Along with the house, their dog was ignored as well. They were out of town, and it was Anne’s responsibility to feed their dog. That morning as she was dumping the food into the dog’s bowl, the dog attacked her from behind. It bit into her arms and legs. She was only able to get away when the dog latched it’s jaws into her shorts, and she slithered out of them.

So there was my bloody sister standing on the patio in tears and blood. I told her to come in, but she said she didn’t want to drip blood on the carpet. That’s my Anne Marie! Now I’m pretty scared at this point. Things only became more nerve wracking when the youngest Mandy came down and saw Anne Marie. For once in my life I gave orders and everyone responded. I sent Mandy to get Anne Marie some pants. Sam my step-brother was sent to get any bandages he could find. My step-father was a doctor. With all the stuff we had in the house, we could’ve performed open heart surgery. I decided we should take her to my step-father’s office. Both he and Mom were there and would know what to do. While everyone else was doing there thing, I called my Mom and told her we were coming and what happened. Now I didn’t want to get her panicked, so I played it down a little. Everyone did their jobs, and I ushered everyone into my car. I felt a bit of a thrill as I sped downtown. It was very movie like. I pulled the car into the office parking lot and helped Anne to the front door. When Mom greeted us there I could see the change from her “What did you guys get into?” face, to her “Oh shit,” face. Perhaps I played down the severity a little too much.

Once it was determined that Anne was fine. Sam and I went back to the house to take care of the dog. We both had that “You just hurt my sister” hatred coursing through our veins. I called the pound to come pick up the dog. Sam and I then went to find the dog. Luckily the dog didn’t leave the house. He was in a corner of the fence still chewing on my sister’s shorts. I picked up a stick to beat off the dog if he attacked. The dog then looked at us with those “crazy” eyes, and grabbed a bigger stick. Now I love animals, but part of me wanted to just beat the shit of that dog. Then I pictured me missing and the dog taking a bite out me. I took the safe route and waited for the dog catcher. Eventually, everything was sorted out. The dog was taken away, and had to be put to sleep. Anne healed nicely, though she still has some scars. Plastic surgery became an option, but I think she was a little proud of her scars. Lastly, I solidified myself as the greatest brother. A title I have yet to relinquish.

As Promised...

I received the CD's of goodness in the mail. So here a couple of the popular songs. Add them to your iPod, and get a treat when you hit shuffle.

The Music Machine-The Music Machine

Have Patience-The Music Machine

Tell the Truth-Sir Oliver's Song "God don't dig lyin'!"

Kalepo-Sir Oliver's Song

Give it up for Agapeland!

Scary Moment #2

My "Terminator" Story or
My "Werewolves on Wheels" Story

This took place again in South Carolina. My friends and I were on one of our excursions in the woods. About an hour into our little trek, we came across a wide path we hadn’t seen before. We figured we had two options. Go left which would most likely take us home, or head right to the unknown. Of course, I convinced my troop to go right.

We got about a quarter of a mile down the path, when we all stopped at the sound of a distant roar. At this point we thought maybe we should head back. As we debated, the roar got a little bit louder. Ok, now we should really head back. Even I agreed to this. So, we started to head back the way we came. Our pace quickened as the roar closed in on us. Now in a slight jog, I turned around to see a dirt bike bearing down on us. “Run!” I shouted. Of course we couldn’t out run the dirt bike. Glancing back, I could see the man on the bike. At least I saw his figure because he was dressed in all black, from his black boots to his black jumpsuit to his black helmet.

Now we’d all been threatened at some point by supposed land owners to get off their property. Usually, it was with a shotgun or the threat of a gun, but we’d always been able to just runaway. They couldn’t catch us. This guy on the bike had a distinct advantage on us now. We were also nowhere near home. Who knew what this guy would do?

I told the rest of the gang to keep running, and I jumped off the path to the left. I had no idea what would happen but I hoped he’d go after me. I rolled down the slight embankment and into some thorned brush. I glanced up over the embankment. Their stopped in the middle of the path was the mystery man on his bike. His head, encased in the helmet with the visor down, swiveled like a robot. The Terminator sprung to mind. I immediately pictured him raising his gun so the laser sight targeted my forehead. “Please don’t see me,” I prayed. After a minute of holding back the pee, the biker finally rode off. I waited a little longer, and started to make way back up the embankment. Sure enough the roar of the bike filled the air again. I dove back into the thorns, as the biker sped past me. He must not have seen me, because he kept on down the path.

Eventually, I figured the coast had to be clear. I ran back down the path to see what happened to my friends. They had run off into the woods sometime after I had, and hid behind some trees. I don’t know what the guys deal was. I assumed he was simply trying to scare us off. But, what was he scaring us off from? Was there some compound deep in the woods? I’d come across a long fence on one of my previous walks into the woods. I never found out, but then I never really pursued it. That was probably the smart move.