My Rock N' Roll Firsts

I’ve been going through more of my CD’s this past week loading them up on the ol' computer. This has been a once a month task for the past year, and I’m about a 3rd of a way through my collection. Going through all these CD’s I was able to see my progression in musical tastes over the years, which got me thinking of my Rock N Roll firsts, which led to this list. One thing that should be stated is that I was a very late bloomer in Rock N’ Roll and not necessarily by choice. I grew up in rather strict environment during my formidable years. The biggest vice on my pop culture intake was attending Bob Jones from 5th grade to 8th. This is where I wasn’t allowed to go see a movie, and where numerous chapel services were on the topic of the evils Rock N’ Roll. And they weren’t talking about Slayer or Iron Maiden, but Amy Grant and Steve Green. Amy Grant was singled out for the breathy way in which she sang. This apparently instigated people to think of sex. Then there was their near racist thinking that rock music was about the devil because it all goes back to African tribes and their beating of the drums was for worshipping the devil and sex. Yet the orchestra I was in could play “old negro spirituals” like “Down by the Riverside.” Of course I got in trouble for bobbing my head to much as I plucked my double bass during said song. It wasn’t really till high school that I could even listen to anything with a beat, and it wasn’t till college that I could listen to anything without the Christian tag on it. But I ramble and rant and make excuses. So here are my Rock N’ Roll firsts- warts and all.


First Rock N’ Roll Memory: Elvis Presley-Hound Dog
When I was a wee pup I would sing this song endlessly often creating a shadow puppet of a dog to sing along with me.

First Album Ever: Weird Al Yankovic-In 3-D
This is also my first secular album. The only way this actually happened is because it’s technically a comedy album, and also my Mom got it for me. I worked overtime in trying to sell the comedy aspect of the album to my Dad. I don’t think he really cared, but I was scared to death. I even scratched out the title of the last track on the album: “Nature Trail to Hell” in case my Grandmother found it.

First Purchased Album(Non-Comedy):
Michael W. Smith- I 2 (EYE)
Yes, this didn’t take place till high school. Yes, it’s a Christian album with a lame title. Yes, that is really sad, but remember I went to Bob Jones. It wasn’t till high school that Christian Rock was even a viable option. This is also my first concert. Later on one of Mr. Smith’s concerts would be my first “date” concert. At that point I had become much more skeptical and knew I was in trouble when the date was bawling while he sang “Friends.” What do you do at that point? Do you console her? Does she need consoling? Why is she crying in the first place? Did she lose a close friend? Is she going to be crying the rest of the night? Can I get ride back to the dorm in another car?

First Secular Album Purchased: Boston-Boston
I bought this used my first year of college (1990). I was rather proud of myself. Of course most kids in college at that time were picking up the Pixies, Social Distortion, or the Cure. Me. I was just beginning, and had a lot of catching up to do.

First Punk Album: One Bad Pig-Smash
Again another Christian album, but it did at least lead me to pick up the Clash, Ramones, and X. This was also the first concert where I actually had fun. Was it really punk? Probably not, but at that time jumping into a pool of ice cream, smashing a guitar, and covering the audience in silly string seemed awfully punk to me.

First Rap Album: Beastie Boys-Licensed to Ill
I’m sure this is true for nearly all white suburbanite kids in the mid-80’s.

First Metal Album: Stryper-Soldiers Under Command
Are you kidding me? This isn’t metal. I know, but at the time this was fastest baddest shit I’d ever heard. Before going into the hospital for back surgery, my friend Jeff slipped this cassette to me. I would hide it under my pillow, pull it out late at night and fall asleep to “The Rock that Makes Me Roll!” Yeah! I suck!

First “Secular” Concert: Firehouse/Tesla Dayton, O'Hara Arena I think I’m more embarrassed by this than anything else. A guy I knew in undergrad had an extra ticket, and it also meant a full weekend out of the college dorm. I would like to think I did this because I was at the height of my all things rebellious, but I think I actually had a Firehouse single at one point. Anyway, I’ve never felt so out of place in my life. Here was a skinny suburban kid surrounded by pseudo metal heads, white trash, and just some seriously scary people. I was certain I would die by either being crushed by the crowd as they rushed the stage, or stabbed with a broken beer bottle when I bumped into the guys fatty of a girlfriend in her frayed hose, and inappropriate short shorts. Shudder.

My First Rock N Roll Swindle
This happened when I went with my Mom and Stepfather to look at their new house. The previous owner had left a bunch of crap in the basement, and they needed help to clear it out. What did I happen to stumble upon but four boxes of LP’s that ranged from The Who’s Tommy to Led Zepplin I to Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde to The Beatles Sergeant Pepper’s. It was nearly every classic album of the 60’s and 70’s. That is the biggest Rock N’ Roll score I’ve ever made. Of course I would eventually sell them to afford the move out to LA. Oh the sacrifice.

My First Important Album: Afghan Whigs-Gentlemen
Up until my Junior year in college my music selections were pretty much determined by my friends and public opinion. I don’t think I bought an album based on my own personal decision till I saw the debut video for the Afghan Whigs song “Gentleman” on 120 Minutes. The next day, I skipped class to go buy the album, and it became my personal Rock N’ Roll treasure. Speaking of 120 Minutes. With the Pixies and other alternative bands reuniting, why hasn’t MTV realized how great it would be to run old 120 Minutes episodes? I would love to watch the 120 minutes ep where the Afghan Whigs took control or when Beck was a complete ass to Kennedy. There were so many great moments.

So there it is. These are the early steps I’ve taken to become the arrogant musical snob I am. Like all Rock N’ Roll snobs, I too have my deep dark secrets. Another prime example being my Journey box set. I'm not the only one, right? Right?