Wednesday, October 26, 2005

October! I'm Done with You!

This month has been the e-brake month of 2005. So much so, that I’m considering to simply call in sick for the rest of the month. Unfortunately, I have that fear that when you aren’t sick but call in sick you will get sick. My October began with the pipe bomb scare. Then my car was broken into in the middle of the month. Then today I stupidly locked myself out of my apartment complex. Which really isn’t that bad compared to the previous two events. Of course none of my neighbors were home when this happened. I was stuck outside looking like one of the neighborhood bums. I tried to break into my apartment, which became quite a frustrating task. How do break into your apartment building yet look like you should be doing it. I tried to be resourceful and use what was outside my apartment: two rubber bands, and a stick. All three broke. While taking breaks between break in attempts I played the “I’m Waiting For Someone to Get Home” game. This consists of acting frustrated and looking at your watch every time somebody walks by. Throwing out few phrases like: “Where the hell is she?” or “I’m giving him another half an hour then I’m leaving” or the simple “Come on already!” Throwing your hands in the air and looking to sky can be added for dramatic affect. When ever cars came by, I would walk to the curb and look at the car like I was hoping they were who I was waiting for. It became quite a game. I would see the cars coming, go sit on the front steps, and then jump to my feet and run to the curb when the car passed. In between these little mini-games was when would make attempts to break in. I was certain that at any point the cops were going to swarm in and arrest me. I’d have to explain that my wallet and keys were in my apartment, and despite the beard and lack of shoes I wasn’t homeless. This of course never happened, and two hours later the wannabe actor got in from his night job and let me in. Five more days till the end of October. I can’t wait.


bobby said...

In your neighborhood you could just take out your penis and you'd have all the help you need.

faith said...

^^oh my!

I lock myself out all the time! It's embarassing...and frustrating! My place is not easy to break into, my neighbours placeon the other hand...well, that's another story!