Goodbye Work...

...Hello Christmas Break! Benefit number 132 of working in the biz is the two week Christmas break. It's like I'm still in school. Having worked at a bank and retail, I truly treasure this lengthy break. It means I have time to visit family and friends and not feel I have to compress it into a long weekend. Which is really good considering how far I live from everyone. Have a merry Christmas. I'll still be posting while I'm back in Columbus, so I hope you have time to visit after being stuffed with turkey and boozed up on eggnog. In fact being in that state probably makes this blog more entertaining.

Happy Holidays from TV to Me

I was thinking how they don't make Christmas Specials like they used to. I then realized they don't make special Christmas episodes like they used to. Hell they don't do anything like they used to, but that's not exactly a bad thing all the time. Here are some of my favorites that I could remember or remember enough that I could find out more on the internet. I'd also like to thank Krystal, Sunil, Dean, Brian, and Tamara for giving their two cents and leading me in the right direction.

Mary Tyler Moore Show – Not a Christmas Story

One of the classics. Sure it's not exactly a Christmas episode. The entire newsroom staff is arguing with each other, and when they are trapped at the office due to bad weather. Sue Ann decides to serve her Christmas dinner early which leads to the staff having dinner on the Happy Homemaker set.

M*A*S*H – Death Takes a Holiday

Christmas at the 4077th finds the surgeons struggling to keep a mortally wounded soldier alive, even if it's only through the holiday.

WKRP in Cincinnati - "Turkeys Away"

This one immediately sprung to mind when I was trying to compile this list. Yes, it's a Thanksgiving episode, but it deserves to be on this list. I remember laughing my ass off watching this as a kid. The station Manager, Art Carlson, arranges to have 20 live turkeys dropped from a helicopter as an advertising stunt. The famous qoute of Carlson's following the fiasco, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!" still gets me. For a trip down memory lane here's Les Nessman's broadcast.

Homicide Life on the Street – All Through the House

Another one of the first epsidoes that came to mind. I'm sure most don't remember this, but it was such a great episode. Munch spreads his usual Christmas cheer. Russert, who misses detective work, joins Meldrick on an investigation into the murder of a material witness, when she discovers she knows something about the victim's case. Munch and Bolander investigate the death of a man in a Santa Claus suit and Munch spends the evening with whom they believe is the victim's son. Beau buys Christmas presents for the kids, although he still doesn't know where Beth and the kids are. Bayliss searches the station in search of a game of hearts. Munch biting his tongue while he watches over this kid who describes his Dad as some wonderdad. Then Munch finally cracks. A great episode of one of the greatest tv shows ever made.

Homicide Life on the Street – The Documentary

This a News Years Eve episode. I figured if I'm throwing in Thanksgiving might as well do all the holidays around this time. On New Year's Eve, the detectives sit back in the quiet of the evening and watch a documentary that Brodie has made about them and their work. In this documentary, entitled "BACK PAGE NEWS: Life and Homicide On The Mean Streets Of Baltimore", one of Frank and Tim's cases is covered where some "lies and hidden truths" are revealed. During a sequence about one of Mike and Meldrick's cases, they chase a suspect right into the filming of something called "Homicide" by director Barry Levinson and his crew. Mike and Julianna agree to try a date. Also, the identity of the "lunch bandit" is revealed to be Gaffney. Brodie reveals that the documentary has been sent to PBS and gives his reasons why. As the New Year rolls in, things return to normal as the phones start ringing.

The Simpsons - "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"

Christmas is nearly ruined when Marge has to spend all of the family's gift money to remove Bart's tattoo. Homer becomes a department store Santa to raise more cash, but bets it all at the dog races on a hot tip from Barney. Homer and Bart save Christmas by adopting the losing greyhound, Santa's Little Helper.

The Brady Bunch – The Voice of Christmas

Carol is to sing in church on Christmas, but days before the event, she loses her voice. Later at the mall, a hopeful Cindy asks a Santa Claus to bring Carol's voice back by Christmas. Don't try to deny that you don't remember this one.

Good Times – Penny’s Christmas

After getting her wallet stolen, Penny steals a necklace from a department store in a desperate attempt to try to get Willona a Christmas gift. However, Penny's attempts may lead to Willona losing custody of her. Janet Jackson will always be Penny to me.

The Office Christmas Special

I got pretty weepy in this one. When Dawn opens her present from Tim. Then she walks back into the office and just kisses Tim. Awww. I'm such a sap.

I know there are a heck of a lot more. So, add your favorites in the comments below.

Best Games of 2005

It’s that time of year again. You know you love them those wonderful “Best of” lists that every magazine and blog will compile. They are great for so many reasons. For the compilers, we get to impose our pop culture taste and tell you what we think is cool. For the reader, they get to point out sacrilegious omissions, confirm their own coolness, or scoff at the fact that someone thinks their opinion matters. Well, I love “Best of” lists for all those reasons and more. Today we will begin with the medium that most of you don’t really concern yourselves with: Video Games. You may click the back button on your browser…wait for it…not yet…now.

Platform Game of Year: Psychonauts

Even with very few platform games being made these days, Psychonauts is one of the best. You play as a Raz a kid that sneaks into a Psychic Camp with the dream of becoming a Psychonaut. Caught by the counselors, Raz has a day to learn all he can till his father comes to pick him up in the morning. Everything changes though when Raz discovers that his fellow campers are having their brains stolen. Now Raz must enter the brains of the counselors and other adults to find out who is behind the brain stealing. In each brain, Raz must journey through and battle that person’s mental baggage using his developing psychic powers.

The brilliance of this game is in its design. Each level is completely distinct and surreal. You never feel you are jumping, floating, or swinging in the same place twice. From the brain of paranoid milkman to a stage frightened actress to a painter that specializes in velvet painting, every level brings smile and wonderment. Game designers should take notice of this game. Extending from that, each character is designed uniquely and the voice acting is top notch. The game is also the funniest written game this year. With the platform genre fading into children specific games this one crosses over all age barriers.

Driving Game of the Year: Burnout: Revenge

I’ve discussed this game enough on this blog that what I’d say now is all rehash. So, I’ll keep it simple. You car enthusiasts and gear heads can keep your Grand Tourismo with its standard tracks and lack of car damage. I will take my blurring speed, traffic checking, and vertical takedowns and have a hell of a lot more fun.

Horror Game of the Year: Resident Evil 4

So I was a little harsh on my first blurb on this game. It’s not highly overrated. It’s just slightly overrated. On the good side it’s amazing the graphics they could pump out of that old PS2. The game looks amazing. The white-knuckle tension of fending off crazed villagers is certainly great. Trying to protect the President’s daughter is tolerable for escort missions. Having to go to the menu to switch weapons is a pain in the ass. I realize it raises the tension level and think that’s why I’m not so high on this game. I guess I’m not a fan of the horror genre in video games. Still I recognize how great this game is.

Pure Joy Game of the Year: We Love Katamari

If you get it you love it. If you don’t… This game shows that great graphics aren’t necessary to make a great game. All you need is a great control scheme, style, and sense of fun.

Action Game of the Year: God of War

I think a lot of games this year are a great indicator of how the timeline of a console works. Many people are complaining that the Xbox 360’s graphics aren’t a huge jump up from the current consoles. With games like Half-life 2 on Xbox, Resident Evil 4 and God of War on PS2 it shows that the best games seem to come out at the end of a consoles run. With God of War and Resident Evil 4 it’s clearly evident that the game designers have learned how to get the most out of the PS2.

God of War kicks serious ass in all the right ways. The story is fantastic with one twist you never see coming. It’s almost disheartening because you think you’re so close and then WHAM! As Kratos you must try to stop Ares from destroying Athens. With your blades you slash through minotaurs, cyclopses, harpies, and medusas to attain Pandora’s box.

The combo system is designed to easily pick-up but takes some time to master. Don’t forget the different powers that are given to you by the other gods. It is a near perfectly constructed game.

Adventure Game of the Year: Shadow of the Colossus

I’ve already done a whole post on the brilliance of this game. You can read about it here.

Game of the Year: Shadow of the Colossus

It really was close between this and God of War. It basically came down to one thing. When I finished God of War I thought, “What an outstanding game.” When I finished SotC I thought, “What an experience.” I’ve gone through Shadow twice and I still get choked up at the end. I’m a wuss.

Honorable Mentions:

Mercanaries: Grand Theft Auto in South Korea only you're mercanary rather than a thug. Special moment: Entering the code to play as old school Han Solo.

Half-Life 2, Lumines, and Ninja Gaiden Black

High School Reunion Recap...kind of.

So here's a rambling of the recap. Part of it's written during the weekend which explains the changes in the tense. I still don't know if the whole trip was worth it.


Thursday - Friday: I’m a moron. A couple months ago I thought for some reason that going to my 15 year high school reunion was a good idea. When I found out that it was in December I still thought it was a good idea. I thought it was such a good idea that I bought an airplane ticket. Now I’m stuck in O’Hare at 2 in the morning. I’ve just sat on an airplane for seven hours. Three and a half of those hours the plane was in the air. My real mistake was booking a flight that went through Chicago…in December. What the hell was I thinking? I thought it might be nice to see Chicago in the winter time. I’ve only seen it during baseball season, so I thought it’d be worthwhile. I’m a moron. At least I’m not alone. There are plenty of strangers sleeping on cots or just sitting around. Oh how I love strangers! I have another six and a half hours left in O’Hare till I can hopefully fly into Columbus. I wish I could sleep but I can’t. There’s no way I’m sleeping with all these strangers. It can only go up from here, right? Right? That is till I have to fly back. At least my Christmas flight goes through Atlanta. What I wouldn’t do for a Pepsi and a cigarette.

Friday: It’s now 1:00 PM and I just got in from the Chicago. This has been the most wheels off flying experience I’ve had. It even beats sleeping in La Guardia. So my morning flight into Columbus at 9:00am was cancelled. But, there was a 7:15 flight that was delayed to leave at 8:15. So, I ran down and put myself on the standby list or so I thought. The desk lady said there already were four on the list, so that would make me numero 5. I wait patiently and a few others walk up to get their name on the standby list. I’m guessing there are about 8 now. People begin boarding the plane. After awhile they started calling the standbys. After the fourth name was called I had my fingers crossed. “Just one more! Just one more!” Then they called someone else’s name, and then someone else’s. What the hell? They skipped me! I ran to the desk and asked why I was skipped. She said I wasn’t in the system. Not only was I not on standby, but I wasn’t even listed anywhere to be on any flight. This was the same lady who entered my information. I asked her how she could forget me. I just talked to her ten minutes ago. She said she was sorry but the plane was full. There were 44 passengers and that’s all they were allowed to put on the plane. Then I heard the magic words, “I only have 43.” Apparently, someone checked in but didn’t get on the plane. So they kept paging this person while I prayed and prayed and prayed. Finally, they allowed me to get on as passenger number 44. With my own paranoia mixed in with watching Lost, I was a little worried that I had doomed the plane. Or, the plane was already doomed and I “luckily” got the last ticket to ride. There were two babies on the plane so I thought we were pretty safe. Still I’ve clearly watched too much TV in my life. Perhaps the fact that we sat on the plane until 10:30 reversed any doom effect I brought on the plane. Yes, 10:30 is an hour past the flight time of my cancelled flight. With a short hour flight I finally landed in Columbus 13 hours after I was supposed to. I understood the canceling of flights due to weather. I just don’t understand the complete lack of communication. I felt like I was looking for an Xbox 360.

Maybe I should start going without sleep every now and then. It’s midnight here in Columbus and I still haven’t gone to bed yet. After landing I had breakfast with the Bens and Ben K’s wife Julie. Then I went Christmas shopping with Julie and was able to get gifts for 2 nieces and 2 siblings. Thanks to Julie, I feel pretty confident with my purchases. Still my day and night wasn’t finished. My niece Moira was singing in their church’s Christmas kid’s choir. They were called something “Jam.” Being the great uncle I am I went. Riding my fifth wind, I was able to stay awake. When the adults got up to sing I was tempted to nod off, but then Moira sat next to me and we had our uncle and niece chat. Besides with the smoke machine and stage lights shining in my face sleep was out of the question. Then we all met up at Ben K’s house after picking up some grub at the Mad Greek. I was able to summon up what was left in my tank and played with Evie and Moira. Eventually Ben I. and the family had to leave. The nieces were up past their bedtime and it was beginning to show. Finally, I’m able to go to sleep. I hope I wake up in time for the reunion.

Saturday 10AM: Grumble…grumble…roll over…zzzzzz.

2PM: I finally wake up, and still have that airport grime on me. It takes another three hours for me to be able to put words together to form sentences. Eventually I shower the airport off of me, and get ready for the reunion.

Arriving at the Rusty Bucket, my first thought was ”What the hell am I doing?” After a cigarette I scoured the parking lot for familiar faces. Seeing none, I decided to just giddy up and go for it. I had the flop sweat going as I climbed the stairs to the “party room.” There were only about 13 there from my class. Add in the spouses and you had about 25. Not bad I guess for a class of 50ish. Of the three people I wanted to be there, Karl actually showed up. I got to meet his wife. Every single one of my conversation consisted of two topics. First was what are you doing, and the second was how is your Dad. He is everyone’s favorite teacher for 19 years and counting. It took awhile but I’ve accepted the fact. Nothing really spectacular happened. I just talked for around three hours and left. Obviously, I over analyzed the whole thing before coming. Also, most everyone knew what was going on with other people in our class. I was sort of the wild card and my ego liked that. The nerdy comic book, shy, baseball loving kid left town and came back with after making good in Hollywood. At least that’s what they think and I’ll let them think that.

The flight home was a breeze…of course.

Side note:

I’ve always been disappointed with my lack of celebrity sightings when I fly. I made up for it all on this trip. Two are pretty cool. R. Lee Ermey was actually on my flight to Chicago. You might remember him for Full Metal Jacket and all the other movies where he played the same character.



Waiting for a taxi after returning to LA, I saw Robert Loggia wandering around the airport. I felt like he should help him out, but he just wandered off. He may still be wandering.






My favorite though was on my flight from Chicago to LA. I saw what I thought was for certain a pimp. Can you guess which one I thought was a pimp? It wasn’t till I saw the other two that I realized it was R&B supergroup Earth, Wind and Fire! Earth, Wind & Fire! They clearly can’t stand each other anymore because I never saw the utter a word to each other.

What Should the Cubs Give Up?

So, someone in Baltimore is demanding a trade. It just happens to be All-star shortstop Tejada. The Cubs don't have a definitive shortstop since Furcal opted to go to LA. Tejada's contract averages out to around $12 mil. a year. Which is a relative bargain since Furcal signed a $13 mil. a year deal. Tejada is exactly what the Cubs need. They got the leadoff man they needed when they traded for Juan Pierre. Unlike most teams the Cubs even have the extra cash to take on Tejada's contract. Why don't I think a deal will be made? First of all the Red Sox will be in talks because they traded Renteria, and they need to trade Manny. Manny doesn't want to play in Baltimore. If Manny isn't in the deal, why would the Orioles trade an All-Star to a division rival? The Cubs need to get in on this. So, what should they give up? As long as it's not Lee, Ramirez, Prior, or Zambrano I don't care. I'd send Rich Hill, Wood, and Patterson. Maybe Cedeno if it's absolutely necessary. The Cubs should not fight on how much of Tejada's contract the Orioles will eat. The Cubs should eat all of it. That has to be tempting to the scrooge of an owner Angelos. Hendry better not drop the ball on this one.

Rusty Bucket Here I Come!

I’m heading back to Buckeye country tomorrow for my 15 yr high school reunion. I think the over/under on how many attend is probably 22. My graduating class totaled 63. I’m hoping the awkwardness portion of the evening ends quickly. Since I can’t even remember the last time I saw anyone from my class, I’ve spent the last couple days brushing up on names and faces. What I’m really looking forward to is some quality time with the nieces. It’s been nearly two years since I’ve seen them. I hope Evie at least still remembers me. Have a good weekend everybody.

Where Does It Lead?

For almost a year I’ve had my hand on the lever to my own trapdoor. I’ve known the decision has been coming on whether or not I should pull the lever. Yet, I still haven’t a clue on what I should do. The problem is I like my life above the door. I’m comfortable. For far too long I’ve lived not knowing where the next paycheck will come. I don’t want to go back to that. I like the security. The problem with life where I am is that there are no stairs leading up. There’s just the trap door below my feet and I have no idea where it leads. I have three months till I officially have to make a decision. I’ve asked those passing by and have gotten numerous responses. It’s not an easy choice, but I think it eventually become easier as the time nears. I really think I have to pull the lever to get where I want.

You know what should've used in place of the trapdoor analogy?
An Ejection Seat!



Wheeeeeeeee!

Warning: Strange Ear Infection Spreading Across U.S.

For the past year there has been an epidemic for which there seems to be no cure. It has infected the ears of numerous people all over this country. The infection though appears to only act up when they hear the name “Brad.” I say Brad, but they always hear Brian, always. When I answer the phone at work, order takeout, or make my research calls my name enters the receiver as Brad with a hard “d.” 10 out of 10 times they still hear Brian rather than Brad. I’ve even gone to exaggerating the “d,” but nothing works. Is Brad that odd of a name? Is the infection just making there ears lazy so they assume Brian. There are two sounds that separate Brian from Brad: “i” and “n.” I pride myself on my professional phone voice for work. It’s top notch. This leads me to believe that it is in fact a virus. That can be the only explanation. When my family members begin to show the same signs of the infection I will have my proof that it is not my speaking but their hearing. I am Brad not Brian dammit!

Ramblings (Sports Edition)

I had an expletive filled morning this Sunday. Why? The first thing I did this morning was get online to see if Furcal had decided if he was going to play for the Braves, Dodgers, or Cubs. I honestly thought he was coming to the Cubs. They offered 5 years for 50 million. The Braves couldn’t and wouldn’t cough up that much particularly for that many years. I didn’t think any player would go to a team that just signed a GM less than a month ago and still didn’t have a manager. I was wrong. Furcal chose the $13 million a year contract over the only team he’s ever known (Braves) and a team that offered him more years and supposedly has two of his friends on the team (Cubs). How the hell do the Cubs lose out to the Dodgers? The damn Dodgers! Furcal was the one player the Cubs could not afford to lose. He was exactly what they needed. How can they overpay for middle relief but not the best lead off hitter on the free agent market. Also, I thought Dusty Baker was supposed to be a draw for free agents. Not a single top line free agent has joined the Cubs. Dusty it’s time. I’m completely frustrated by this. It’s like losing the cute girl to the guy still living with his parents

Here are a few things and people that need to be done with. They’ve run their course, and it is time to say farewell. Save what’s left of your dignity. Don’t make us kick you out the door.

Dusty Baker (see above)

Chris Berman: For the last 10 years Berman has been a shell of what he was. Now he’s more important than the sports he covers. At least in his mind he is. His nicknames used to be cute. His “Back, back, back” homerun call was never good. This made all the more evident during the Home Run Derby. Is there any reason to do a HR call at the Derby? I mean other than to hear yourself talk. (Scott Van Pelt though has grown on me. He’s my current favorite anchor. Yes, part of that is because he’s bald.)

ESPN also needs to put to rest that “I love…” song about football. When Coors stops using it in their commercials that should be a sign. I like football but I hate the marketing of it.

The Campbell's Chunky Soup commercials with McNab's Mom have to go.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Notre Dame/Ohio State Fiesta Bowl draws a bigger TV audience than Texas/USC national championship game. All the BCS bowls do seem to have some great games this season.

Isn’t it time to give quarterback, Brad Johnson, some credit? He’s not flashy or have that strong of an arm, but he wins. If I had a choice between Vick or Johnson, I’d pick Vick to sell tickets, and Johnson to win games.

With the fire sale going on with the Florida Marlins it must suck to be Marlin fan. That is if there are any. Shouldn’t there really be regulations against such things. I can understand a small market team trading their top star before his contract is up because they can’t afford to sign him. But, to get rid of nearly everyone is ridiculous and not fan friendly. Can they ever expect to win fans back? Of course it seems that’s their idea. The only baseball that should in Florida is spring training anyway.

Bits O' Music

I’ve meant to put this band up here awhile ago, but it kept slipping my mind. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah are an indie rock band from Brooklyn. When I say indie, I mean they are truly indie since they have no PR or record label. What they do have is a great name and a great debut album. Over jangling guitars and a solid back beat their singer does his best David Byrne impression. This isn’t some Talking Heads rip-off though. It’s a solid indie rock band that has me looking forward to what they will do next. Check out their web site for more info.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah-The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth

If you are an artist or artist representative being featured on this blog and want me to take down a song, let me know, and it will be removed from the server immediately.

O' Christmas Twig! O' Christmas Twig!

While trying to come up with Christmas songs, and after reading Keymaster's post, I thought it was time to put up my "tree." My Mom sent me the little thing a few years ago. It was my first Christmas alone. I was stuck in LA because my shitty job at the time only had Christmas Day as my day off. Easily the worst Christmas ever. Anyway my Mom sent me my gifts and among the gifts was this little tree with ornaments. It was awfully sweet of her, and it become my LA Christmas tree. Fast forward to last night and I can't find it anywhere. I spent a good hour tossing my apartment and cursing myself while I looked for this little tree. Could I have possibly been dumb enough to leave it in North Hollywood? Did I throw it away? Eventually, I had my Eureka moments, and found it on the top shelf in the kitchen. By 1am, I finally had it setup to where it wouldn't tip over. Man, I love the Holidays.

Ramblings

Along with everyone who’s been a fan of Lost, I’ve been frustrated. This week’s show gave me a little glimmer of hope. At least they stopped wandering the damn jungle. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Invasion is still trumping Lost.

Much like the Xbox 360 I’m stuck waiting to see if Braves shortstop Furcal will sign with the Cubs. Reports say that his choices are down to Atlanta, Cubs, and Dodgers. He’d be a moron if he went to the organizational mess that is the Dodgers. It’d be a nice Cubs Christmas present if he does choose the Cubs. Going against my plans Giles has decided to resign with the Padres. That leaves the Cubs scrounging for a right fielder. Unless they could steal Abreu in a trade from the Phillies. That won’t happen. One final thing about the Cubs paying big bucks for middle relief pitchers that are over 30 years of age: It’s never ever a good idea.

Are the Mets becoming the Yankees of the National League?

Throwaways it seems is going primetime for a whole split second. I signed a waiver the other day so this blog can be used in one of our episodes. What does that mean? Well if you have Tivo, you might be able to catch it. So it means absolutely nothing.

Remember when I talked shit about the game Resident Evil 4? I’d like to retract my rant. It’s a pretty great game, and I judged it a little early. More about it in another post.

I’m working on a playlist of unusual Christmas songs. Sure there are the classics, but there are those quirky songs that need to be recognized as well. This is what I have so far:

Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight) – The Ramones
Christmas at Ground Zero – Weird Al
Christmas in Hollis –Run DMC
Merry Christmas Everybody-Slade
Christmas in Heaven-Monty Python

That’s all I have off the top of head at 1AM. Feel free to suggest your own

Bits O' Music

Here's a song from one of the albums I picked up while I was on my blog hiatus. It's another album I picked up on a whim. Amoeba seems to bring that out of me. I wasn't thrilled when I first listened to the album. Then one of the songs would randomly come up on my iPod and I'd always find myself playing it again. I guess most would categorize them as post-punk. Which I guess is correct. If you do like this, I have a little bit of bad news. Rex Aquarium is a local band, Silverlake to be exact. What does that mean. It means the album is only available in two stores: Amoeba and Sea Level. I'm willing to help out though, and pciking it up for you if you want. Visit the Rex Aquarium website for more info.

Rex Aquarium-The Back of the Room-The Back of the Room


If you are an artist or artist representative being featured on this blog and want me to take down a song, let me know, and it will be removed from the server immediately.

I Will Kiss Bugs Bunny's Ass

Consider this the companion piece to my post/rant on Mickey Mouse. This is more than just about Bugs Bunny, but the whole Looney Tunes family. Looney Tunes was it as far as cartoons were concerned when I was a kid, and it still is today. I’d watch my MGM cartoons if they were on like Tom and Jerry, but nothing compared to Looney Tunes. It’s a cornerstone of my childhood, and part of what makes me who I am today.

I had T-shirts and hats. I bought up all the glasses with the characters. I even wrote a letter complaining that there was no Elmer Fudd glass. How could they not make an Elmer Fudd glass? Elmer Fudd! I remember as a kid watching Chuck Jones on some talk show showing how to draw Bugs Bunny and Road Runner. I couldn’t find a pencil and paper fast enough. I practiced and practiced those techniques for weeks. They never really turned out very good. I did come close on drawing a passable likeness of Road Runner. I still dream of being able to afford cells from the cartoons. Being such a fan I was disappointed that the availability of the cartoons for retail was rather limited. That is till about two years ago when Warner Bros. began releasing their 4 disc DVD Golden Collections. There are three out currently, and I can’t rave enough about them. They are in the truest sense: genius. Some have complained about there not being a set that just has all of the most popular cartoons (What’s Opera Doc? Rabbit of Seville, Duck Amuck, Rabbit Seasoning, One Froggy Evening, etc.). Honestly, they are spreading them out in order to sell the sets, and there are some misfires of cartoons included. Warner has done an outstanding job on these discs. They not only did a great job of remastering them. The cartoons look and sound great. They have also dug up some great shorts and docs on the history of Looney Tunes. From they documentary about the beginning of Warner Bros. cartoon division to a Tex Avery interview to the Bugs Bunny 50th Anniversary special. I still haven’t even included the numerous commentaries and the fact that they are all uncut. There is no PC editing like when they air on TV. The one major downside of this is the third set has Whoopi making a statement about the non-PC elements in the cartoons. Whoopi? Why not just have the Aunt Jemima bottle make the statement?

Finally, let me say that adding up all the cartoons on the three sets comes out to 160 cartoons. That’s a crap load of comedy gold. And still there are cartoons that I’m hoping will be on the 4th set. One of those being the Ralph Phillips cartoons: “A to Zzzz” and “Boyhood Daze.” If you don’t remember, Ralph is the boy who daydreams about being a pilot, George Washington, and other historical figures. He’s a definite precursor to Calvin and Hobbs, and onemy all time favorites.

So if you’ve got the blues, or are stuck in rut do yourself a favor and at least Netflix some of these discs. It will do you some good.

Better Off Left Unsaid

I received this e-mail from my stepbrother Sam yesterday.

“Remember how you always used to say 'you deserve a winky button and a cardboard cookie', whenever you wanted to suggest someone had made a trivial contribution to the conversation? Well there's a word for that -- floccinaucinihilipilification. Cool, eh?”

Yes, like the Fonz, Arnold, Mel Allen and Flo, I had a catch phrase. Thank you Sam for reminding me even though I’m pretty sure I forgot on purpose. Thing is you forgot the exclamation of “Congratulations!” before the rest of the catch phrase. So the whole phrase was: “Congratulations! You deserve a winky button and a cardboard cookie.” With or without the exclamation, it still wasn’t the best of catch phrase. In fact it was awful. Like most catch phrases they never really start off as catch phrases. It was just something I said and then it caught on with the family. Thing is I have no idea where the phrase originated. Is it a combination of pop culture references or just my own nerdy creation? Either way it had the life span of Small Wonder and was just as quickly forgotten, or so I thought. Thanks Sam for reminding me…I guess.

Meaningless Things I’m Thankful For:

With Thanksgiving over, I thought it’d be nice to give some thanks for those things that are usually left out during our thankfulness. Normally we are thankful for family, friends, good health, blah, blah, and blah. There are little things too that deserve our thankfulness. Here are some of mine.

Touchless Paper Towel Dispensers: These should be required in every business and most homes. How many times have you second guessed touching that wet handle to get your paper towel? It can’t be just me…can it?

Getting that perfect box of Cheez-its. The greatest cracker ever made. Also, don’t try to pass off those imitations. I can tell the difference. Cheese Nips are for losers!

Winning a round of Halo 2’s deathmatch on Xbox Live and yelling: “I beat you all, and I actually have a life! Ha! Ha! Ha!...ha. (Yes, I realize I’m lying.)

Finding that CD you thought your friend borrowed and never returned. Sorry Eric.

Not getting stuck in the elevator with “90’s Man” who works a floor below you.

When you need one more quarter to finish a load of laundry, and you find it between the couch cushions.

Comfortable chairs

Funnel cakes

Easy to remember phone numbers

Magazines

It's About Time!

This has been an awful season for me in the NFL office pool. I haven't come close to being in the running for the weekly cash prize. I'm sure this has been than case with many out there because this has been a crazy season. Finally, I'm in the running this week. How is it that I finally picked correctly this past week? I didn't think about it. Trying to get off work early, and before traffic hit, I just made my picks an left. I never second guessed or even really thought about it. Now it's me and some other guy I've never met vying for the cash. For me to win I need the Colts to win. That seems easy enough. The problem is I need the combined score to be 55 points or higher. I think I'm screwed.

The thing is I'm not a huge NFL guy. I like college football much more than pro. But, since I have money on the games I'm flipping through every game, watching the ticker, and biting my nails during OT's. It makes me wonder sometimes where the NFL would be if the game wasn't so gambling friendly.

Yes, I realize that posting on this topic has drastically reduced my chances of winning. My blog is my own SI or Madden cover jinx.

Breakdown: Thanksgiving Weekend

For the second time this year I was graced with the presence of a family member. This time my other sister Anne Marie and her boyfriend, Laszlo, drove into town from Santa Fe. Here’s a little breakdown of the wonderfully extended weekend.

Wednesday: My sister arrives after a 12 hour drive. God bless them. I simply order some pizza, and we relax. By relax I mean Laszlo and I play video games till midnight. For those who doubt three people could comfortably sleep in my cubicle of an apartment, myself being one of them, I offer this picture.









Thursday: Since Anne is all about tradition, it was pointless for me to persuade her to simply go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving. This meant joining the other last minute shoppers in lines all across the store. It was nice though having a traditional Thanksgiving meal even if we did all eat on the floor. It’s the thought that counts. The rest of the day was spent digesting food, more gaming, and simply vegging out.

Friday: We actually went outside my area code and saw Syriana at The Grove. We met up with Bobby, and ate at the Farmer’s Market after the movie. A little advice, it’s not that great of an idea to go to The Grove the day after Thanksgiving. It was a complete mad house. I was surprised people weren’t crushed by the trolley. The movie itself was quite good. Though I think Bobby summed it up best when he said he felt like he should’ve gotten class credit for watching it. Yes, it’s officially become a tradition that all visiting relatives have to meet Bobby. Another tradition is taking all visitors to the Mecca that is Amoeba Records. I picked up the new Thelonious Monk Quartet with John Coltrane at Carnegie Hall. My sister and her boyfriend also got their first celebrity sightings.

The one they knew:












The two they didn’t:












John Frusciante: Guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers









Chris Pontius

Saturday: Let me say this for those who have never been to LA. No matter what anyone says there is really no reason to go to Venice Beach. It’s really a tourist trap. Sure there’s the people watching. You can see the man robot or the guy who walks on glass.












After that it’s just rows of tables and stores selling the same junk over and over. It’s become a regular occurrence to take visitors to Venice Beach. The reason is there is always someone who tells them they need to see Venice Beach. I don’t know who these people are, but please stop. I’m really tired of taking people just to see the guy who walks on broken glass again. The day was topped off wonderfully though with another tradition: Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.









Doesn’t the red neon add to the ambience?

Sunday: The kids left to Santa Fe. Thus ended one the best Thanksgivings I’ve had in LA, and proving once again Thanksgiving should be spent with friends and family.

DENIED!

So I came to work today empty handed, and I’m terribly frustrated by it. Part of the frustration is that I’m running on two hours of sleep. The other part is because four times this morning I’ve gotten my hopes up only to see them dashed. Here’s a little rundown of my day.

1AM: I fell asleep with images of Call of Duty 2 and Perfect Dark Zero running through my head with a million polygon count. I had planned on going to bed earlier, but around 9PM I felt the spirit calling me to clean my bathroom sink. Three hours later my whole bathroom is spotless, and I’m just beginning to clean the kitchen.

3AM: I wake up, shower, grab Pepsi, and drive to the Wal-Mart a couple miles from my house. To my excitement I see less than twenty people waiting in line. Jackpot! In fact I’m actually number 20 in line. I know this because after waiting about 25 minutes a guy in a security jacket yells at me for not putting my name on the list. Now I don’t know if he was even an actually security guard, but he wouldn’t shut-up about me trying to jump ahead of people. Biting my tongue, I wait for about three hours.

6:10AM: With 7AM coming around the corner my fellow losers begin to form a line according to our number on the list. Excitement is building. Soon I will have my hands on that white plastic electronic time waster I’ve saved my money for. The “Security” guard then starts championing those who waited longer than me to not allow other to skip in front of them. At this point I would like to point out that he was at the front of the line. I’m certain he wasn’t the real security guard, and was just using it to weasel his way to the front. I imagined that once the doors opened he’d yell “Suckers!” and dash into the store to buy an Xbox 360. I would never find out.

6:25AM: The manager steps outside, taking the list from the “Security” guard. He glances at the list and then looks up. “I’m sorry. I only have fourteen.” The Wal-Mart in downtown Long Beach only has fourteen? Shit. Now I really don’t have a problem with them only having fourteen. If that’s all Microsoft sent them, then that’s all they have. My problem is that since I arrived the manager was constantly letting the morning shift workers in the front door. Did it not cross his mind once to tell us he only had 14? If he had told us before hand, I could have driven to a different store rather than wasting three hours. So, I left in huff, trying to figure out which stores I could hit next.

6:40AM: I pull into the Toys R Us. Only eight people in line! Sweetness. I ran up to the line. They all had that solemn “Hate to burst your bubble” look. The Toys R Us only had eight. Everyone else waiting in line had already left to find other stores.

6:55AM: After cussing up a storm with words my car should never hear, I arrive at a shopping center that has a Circuit City, CompUSA, and Sears. They are all certified Xbox 360 dealers, and they are all right next to each other. At this point I have a decision to make. Which store to wait in front of? I picked Sears because it had the shortest line with 15. CompUSA had around 18 people, and Circuit City was pushing around 40. So, I put my name on the list, and wait in line…again.

7:05AM: I walk over to the CompUSA line to see if they know how many the store is carrying. The rumor has it at around eleven. Eleven! What the hell are you thinking Microsoft? I move on to the Circuit City line, and ask the same question. Nobody knows. I scurry back to my original line.

7:15AM: Some 40 year old lady with “crack baby” teeth won’t shut up in my line. She’s keeps trying to tell funny anecdotes about her job at Taco Bell. The punch line to one of her stories is “He said Compton Hood not Captain Hook. I said I’m Robin Hood.” I should still be in bed right now.

7:16AM: Some Sears employee slaps a sign on the window indicating they have no new Xbox. Mother Hubbard!

7:18AM: I’m standing in the Circuit City line. I’m around number 50 at this point. Now I still have some hope left for two reasons. First, the Best Buy had 60 for their midnight sale. Surely, Circuit City would have around that many. Second, a guy shows up who actually had an employee wait in line for him. He said that they told him they had around 100. Finally!

7:35AM: I find myself dispensing all by Xbox 360 knowledge to a couple grandmothers and a few Dads. Soon a few other people start asking questions. At a certain point I was tempted to raise my hands and yell, “Can you dig it?” But I assumed the reference wouldn’t be picked up.

8:15AM: The doors to the store open. Everyone is ordered into a single file line. Once again the excitement builds. Two employees come out with a stack of tickets each to pass out to those in line. They didn’t even get close to me. They only had twenty-one. At least I wasn’t the only one going home empty handed. I did leave though with a nearly bursting bladder, and half of a once full pack of cigarettes.

What a wonderful way to spend a Tuesday morning. Perhaps I could have planned a little bit more. Perhaps I should have never gone to bed. Perhaps the manager could’ve been considerate enough to let those waiting in line know how many they had. Perhaps I should learn to be patient.

Creepiest Toy Ever Made

I was watching Supernatural this weekend. In one of the traditional "hand chopped off by garbage compactor" scenes, they cut to this toy.












Growing up I remember seeing the cover of Monkey Shines. I never read the book, but the movie blew. That image on the cover though still creeps me out.












It's become a staple of horror films, and there's a reason for that. With it's freaky smile and crazy clapping of cymbals, how can it not be an omen of bad things. If you ever come across this toy in real life, I suggest you do what I would do...run!

Number two on the list: The Ventriloquist Dummy









Does anyone remember that short film back in the day about the dummy chasing a woman around the apartment with a knife? That scared the shit out of me as a kid.

They are closely associated with number three: the marionette.