Warning: Strange Ear Infection Spreading Across U.S.

For the past year there has been an epidemic for which there seems to be no cure. It has infected the ears of numerous people all over this country. The infection though appears to only act up when they hear the name “Brad.” I say Brad, but they always hear Brian, always. When I answer the phone at work, order takeout, or make my research calls my name enters the receiver as Brad with a hard “d.” 10 out of 10 times they still hear Brian rather than Brad. I’ve even gone to exaggerating the “d,” but nothing works. Is Brad that odd of a name? Is the infection just making there ears lazy so they assume Brian. There are two sounds that separate Brian from Brad: “i” and “n.” I pride myself on my professional phone voice for work. It’s top notch. This leads me to believe that it is in fact a virus. That can be the only explanation. When my family members begin to show the same signs of the infection I will have my proof that it is not my speaking but their hearing. I am Brad not Brian dammit!