Ramblings

As with most people on the west coast, work at the office came to a halt to watch the Jet Blue plane make an emergency landing. I came with away with a few things after watching the amazing landing. First, Jet Blue owes that pilot whatever he requests. You couldn’t ask for a better landing. If I was on a plane that he was flying I’d feel completely safe. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Jet Blue advertised the flights he flew. Second, I found it slightly disturbing that the passengers were watching their own footage on the plane. Sure, you’d probably like to know what’s actually happening but it still seems morbid to me. Finally, with the reported jokes made by the pilot and passengers to alleviate the tension, and my co-workers compelled to quote Airplane it seems humor once again is the biggest defensive mechanism. I'm also never fyling anything with "bus" in its name.

So season premiere week is nearly over. There hasn’t been any series premieres that have really grabbed me. I had high hopes for Threshold, but they were quickly dashed. Supernatural makes a good effort but still falls a little flat. Invasion has promise. Prison Break came out of the gate strong, but has quickly bored me. I’d also like to thank ABC for moving Lost to 9PM which is the same time as Veronica Mars. Thanks for forcing me and my Tivo to make a choice. I’m sorry Miss Mars. Miss Bell is so cute too. Still hoping for Night Stalker to come through. I was also sad to see Diane Farr on Numb3rs, which means she really is no longer on Rescue Me.

Enough time has passed that I’ve come to terms with the Cubs not making the playoffs, again. It’s now time for me to pick teams to root for during the rest of the year. My AL choice is the Indians. I’m hoping they actually catch the Whitesox. I like to share my misery. It seems odd but my NL selection is the actually the Phillies. I hate the Astros so much that I’m actually going to back a Philly team. I do like the Chase Utley though. Overall, I’m for the Indians winning it all. Still hate the Yankees. Does any team for the NL West even deserve to go to the playoffs?

On a whim I picked up the new Rolling Stones album. It’s actually pretty good. They’ve seemed to have finally realized they don’t need to try to compete with the new bands musically. They simply need to rock. There are still a few stumbles along the way, but this is their best album in quite awhile.

Looks like Fiona Apple is finally releasing her album…YAWN.

Bought the bizarre trippy Jap-pop game We Love Katamari. If you’re a fan of the original, you’ll love this. There are no big changes. The worlds are more unique (underwater, zoo, space, etc). Vs. mode has been beefed up. There’s also a great co-op mode that will make the perfect drinking game. Basically it’s you and a friend trying to work together to roll the Katamari. Imagine the good times watching two drunk friends attempting to coordinate their motor skills. I was also pleased to hear they kept the same theme song. Kitschy Joy!

For some frightening and comical reading I recommend checking out the last few posts on Paper Graffiti and Potential Lunch Winner. It will give you a good glimpse into the mind of someone who needs some serious help. Who knew someone could love Kids Inc. that much? C! R! A! Z! Y! Incorporated!

I’d also like to welcome Krystal back to the blogging universe. If you need party ideas or want to know where pop culture is headed next I suggest you give it a read. Plus, her posts are much better written than mine.

My Own Wierd Fan E-Mail

Cleaning up my inbox, I stumbled across this e-mail. I shared this e-mail with the boys at 3CT when I first got it. Laugh, cringe or do what you will. I do wonder what Caruso would think of such an e-mail. I want to think this is a joke, but I know it's not. The name has been removed to protect him from humiliation.

Brad,

Thanks for helping create the most compassionate character I've ever seen in television. I got hooked on CSI: Miami late in the first year because week in and week out Caine displayed self-sacrifice and compassion. I tend to think that behind the sunglasses are tears reminiscent of one who held children in his lap and would have gathered Jerusalem to Himself as a hen gathers its chicks. Since that first year, Caine the compassionate Christ-figure has been a staple in our house. You and your colleagues are to be thanked for showing us a little bit of WWJD.

News Director
CDR Radio Network
Cedarville, OH

The Girl for the Trees

A few people have asked about the identity of the girl in the picture. Maybe it’s the defiantly displayed middle finger. Most likely it’s that I’m in a picture with a girl…and we’re touching. Whatever the reason, she’s a good story from my life, so I’ll share. Her name is Nancy.

Since I was on the unintentional five year program at Cedarville and my first core group of friends were a year older, I needed to find a new core after my Junior year. Thanks to my best friend Eric, I was able to find a core in the broadcasting department. Part of that group was Nancy. At first she was on the fringe. Even more than me she strayed from the Cedarville standard. Her penchant for go-go boots, and the provocative put off many of the yuppie raised students. Lucky for her, those in the broadcasting department were the black sheep of Cedarville. Actually, it was lucky for the broadcasters.

It wasn’t till after the first quarter of my Junior year that I actually got to know Nancy. The broadcasting department went on it’s annual retreat to a kids camp. The goal was to help clean up the place, and get it ready for some kids. For some reason one of the groups consisted of Nancy, myself, and every other goofball in the department. Thank goodness we were only put on raking duty. We didn’t do too much damage, but we didn’t do much raking either. I think we lost a rake to the elements, but that was about it. Nancy and I bonded on music and movies over that weekend. One movie though led us to be friends. Nancy loved disco, Manilow, and basically all things 70’s pop culture. Her main crush though was John Travolta. Even before “Pulp Fiction” she was all about Travolta. So, when “Pulp Fiction” did come out, she had to see it, and see it often. At that time, Cedarville students were not allowed to see movies at the multiplex. That of course didn’t stop Nancy and me. I can’t even remember how many times we saw that movie. In between our viewings of Royales with cheese and severed ears our friendship grew.

We started hanging out more. We’d actually go see other movies. We’d edit our projects together blaring Manilow and the Bee Gees till 3 in the morning. Giving each other the middle finger was our sophomoric and endearing way to greet each other. Still, she was distant. A close friend of hers died during my second senior year, and it shook her pretty hard. She struggled with eating after that, but her wall was too thick to accept help. She also had a life outside our group that she never let many into. Even though she was a blast to hang out with, and we had a certain bond, she was never willing to share. Not that I was the sharing type either. That’s probably one of the reasons we were friends.

I don’t have any regrets when it comes to my dating life. I may have said or done the wrong thing, but it never really bothered me much. If it wasn’t to be, it wasn’t to be. As long as learned from my mistakes I was happy with that. Nancy though is a regret because I was never able to find out what could have been. Something or somebody always got in the way of me asking her out. She would have a boyfriend or had a crush. When she was single I’d have a crush. That’s my own fault. Nancy and I met up in D.C. for spring break but my mind would be so caught up in another girl I didn’t see what was in front of me. Even when I was over that, I’d hesitate because we both had self destructive leanings. I also thought she was too cool for me. I didn’t think I measured up with her cool friends at the time. Again that’s my fault. I didn’t get a sense of what could have been till after I graduated. On a whim I decided to visit Cedarville after I graduated. I was living in Columbus at the time, so it was only an hour and half drive. Most of my friends were out of town at the time, but Nancy was there. We hung out that evening and made plans to have breakfast before I went back. Not to be an inconvenience I broke into an old professor's office and crashed on his couch. We met for breakfast at Perkins, and she did something I’d never witnessed before. She shared. She opened up to me, and I shared in return. We discussed our fears of the future, and our dreams. We said goodbye in the parking lot, and she gave me hug. She then said she wished she’d known me better. Talk about a kind word with a dash of pain. Even though I went to most of our friends weddings and get togethers, I never got to see her again. I’d get letters every now and then. Some only had a drawing of a middle finger. Last I heard she was married with kids, and living a good life. She’s still the only regret of my love life. I never really saw her among the others till it was too late. She taught me to be more comfortable in my own skin. She also gave me an idea of what I’m looking for. So maybe it’s not really a regret but more of a constant curiosity of what might have been.

There was one other minor regret. Eric later told me that Nancy and her best friend had asked Eric if he and I wanted to go skinny dipping with them. Apparently knowing what’s best for me, he said I would probably not want to. Thanks Eric.

Nancy also had one of my favorite celebrity sightings. After she graduated, she stated working for CSPAN. She would set up the cameras for the House and Senate meetings. Walking down to a camera, she was singing “Staying Alive.” Behind her she heard someone start singing with her. She turned around and sure enough it was John Travolta. That could only happen to Nancy.

The Work of Mark Romanek

Remember music videos? Images are filmed and put to a song? They used to play them on MTV. Well for those who remember Palm Pictures has putting out collections of seminal music video directors on DVD. The first three were for Spike Jonze, Chris Cunningham, and Michel Gondry. I highly recommend the Jonze and Gondry ones. If you don’t know who Jonze is, well… Gondry went on to direct “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” They recently released four more DVD’s for: Mark Romanek, Jonathan Glazer, Anton Corbijn, Stéphane Sednaoui. U2 diehards should recognize Corbijn and Sedanoui. Glazer went on to direct “Sexy Beast” and the ultra uncomfortable “Birth.” I actually went with my girlfriend at the time to see “Birth.” Yeah, there was no romance happening that night. I also don’t recommend seeing “Closer” with a date or significant other particularly if you plan to get frisky afterwards.

Anyway, the DVD I picked up was Romanek’s. He directed One Hour Photo. Alright, I hate that I just used films to identify these directors when there videos should be enough. Below is the list of videos on Romanek’s DVD. Over two-thirds of these are great. He’s directed at least four classic (or to be classic) music videos: Jay-Z, Apple, NIN - Closer, and Kravitz. He’s also directed what in my opinion is the probably the greatest music video: Johnny Cash – Hurt.

I remember seeing this video for the first time. I had that "dust in my eye" going on near the end. Every time that piano starts pounding near the end and the cuts of a young Johnny Cash become more frequent I still get a little teary. The main goal of music videos is to advertise and represent the artist. Yet, Romanek actually achieved something I’ve only seen one other time in a music video: emotion. (The other time was the video for Chocolate Genius’ “My Mom,” but that’s another post) It clearly had the same impact on others as evidence in interviews with artists on DVD. Yes, most of the emotion is in Cash singing that song, but the decision to innercut old footage of Cash is what puts it over the top. The point is that it had an impact beyond the music video norm. That’s why it at least belongs in the category of “Greatest Music Videos of All Time.” Remember when MTV used to air the “100 Greatest Music Videos of All Time?” For a long time it was always “Thriller” at numero uno. Then Gn’R’s “November Rain” took over the top spot. Which I still think was ridiculous. “November Rain” was an epic music video, but greatest ever? “Hurt” though belongs. The rest of Romanek’s work is great as well with a few snoozers sprinkled in. Included in the DVD is nice booklet that includes an interview by Spike Jonze. There's also a nice retrospective with the artists he's worked with. He like all these directors on these DVD’s takes the music video commercial and makes it art. So, I recommend at least Netflixing this DVD as well as the others.

Work of Mark Romanek:
Jay Z - 99 Problems (director's cut)
Linkin Park - Faint
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop
Johnny Cash - Hurt
Audioslave - Cochise (director's cut)
No Doubt - Hella Good (director's cut)
Mick Jagger - God Gave Me Everything
Janet Jackson featuring Joni Mitchell and Q-Tip - Got Til It's Gone
Fiona Apple - Criminal
Nine Inch Nails - Perfect Drug
Beck - Devil's Haircut
Weezer - El Scorcho (director's cut)
Eels - Novocaine for the Soul
Sonic Youth - Little Trouble Girl
Michael & Janet Jackson - Scream (director's cut)
Madonna - Bedtime Story
R.E.M. - Strange Currencies
G. Love & Special Sauce - Cold Beverage
Nine Inch Nails - Closer (director's cut)
David Bowie - Jump, They Say
Madonna - Rain
Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way
Keith Richards - Wicked as it Seems (director's cut)
En Vogue - Free Your Mind
kd lang - Constant Craving

Why I Love Football Season:

It’s not the great match-ups. It’s not the 60 yard bomb. It’s not the crack of the helmets. It’s not the cheerleaders. It’s not watching the Cowboys choke. It’s not listening to the unintentional comedy of ESPN’s Sunday night commentators. I love football season for the Weekly NFL Office Pool. I get to line my pockets with my coworker’s money. I try not to plan on winning the $500 bucks I usually do every season, but it’s difficult when you’re this good. I laugh at those who submit multiple entries. I scoff at those who go to ESPN.com to see who the experts pick. There’s a simple formula to use that will at least give yourself a chance to win, but I’m not going to share. Daddy’s saving for the Xbox 360 so he needs the paper. That’s how I roll.

How the hell did this happen?

So I woke up this morning and was packing my “man purse” for work when I noticed an iBook sitting on my desk. What the hell? I bought the Nano a few weeks ago and now I have an iBook? Sure, I needed a small laptop, but why did I buy Apple? My research pointed to the iBook being a solid deal, but I’ve always worked within the Bill Gates cult. It’s so strange having a well designed piece of machinery. What does this mean? Should I feel guilty that I still have my Dell desktop? Do I have to now bash all things Gatesian including my Xbox? Wait! I have a "man purse?" I don’t know who I am anymore.

Songs I Don’t Want to Hear for the Rest of the Year

Not in any specific order:

Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani

Don't Phunk With My Heart, The Black Eyed Peas-Actually I never want to hear anything from these hacks again.

Mr. Brightside, The Killers

Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson

Beverly Hills, Weezer

Holiday, Green Day

Ramblings

First off let’s touch on a “What the…?” moment. Nintendo finally showed their new controller for their next-gen system. You can read all about the demonstration here. I’m all for advancing design and trying something new, but this seems like it will be trouble in my opinion. Nintendo says it’s supposed to attract new gamers. Yeah, newbies aren’t going to be intimidated by that. Also, since it requires you waving the thing to control it, I could see some possible embarrassing situations um…arising?

Two games displayed at the Tokyo Game Show have gotten me a little giddy. One: Gears of War still looks like it might deliver what it promised. Two: A Ghouls & Ghosts game for the PSP. Ghouls & Ghosts! A Knight running around in tighty whities! Yeah! Hmm...strike that last sentence.

Speaking of video games, last Tuesday was Burnout Day. No it’s not on your calendars and has nothing to do with pot. Two Burnout games were released, one for the consoles, and another for the PSP. The PSP version is simply Burnout 1-3 combined. Burnout Revenge though is a whole new game. I’ve said it before but this is the greatest racing game out there. Even if you hate racing games, I promise you will get a kick out of this. There are two big changes from Burnout 3. First the tracks are not as linear as in the other versions. There are side streets and alleys you can cut through to make up time, along with ramps. Yes, I said ramps. This adds a new takedown (aerial) to the mix. I will say when you finally are able to drop down from above and crush and opponent it’s a wonderful feeling. I can’t recommend this game enough.

Also, Tuesday night was the Rescue Me season finale. Bobby made the comment that the show seems predictable when it comes to the story lines. It does pick up and twist things around after the first few episodes of season one. But, this season finale went where I thought it would, and left me a little disappointed. I think perhaps the bleakness of the show is hurt it in that you know the worse will happen. I still do love the show. Side note: They also played another track from Dulli’s album during the closing minutes of the show.

I know you are all sick of hearing me gush over the Twilight Singers and Afghan Whigs, but I just wanted to give a quick review of Dulli’s Amber Headlights album. So skip to the next paragraph for those uninterested. Hey Bob, thanks for staying around. The fact that this is a “work in progress” shows. It still has a handful of great songs. While the rest are still good, they could use a little more time in the studio. There are two things I noticed about the album. First of all it seems he is musically struggling between his Twilight Singers and his Afghan Whigs. First there are songs like “Pussy Willow” and “Wicked” that run along the lines of the Twilight Singers. Then there’s a song like “Black Swan” that sounds like a combo of Congregation and Black Love era Whigs. Secondly, the Alpha Male character that is prevalent in the Whigs records and this album (“The world is wicked/ I fit right in…” “I smell trouble, girl/that I aim to start…”) doesn’t really exist in Blackberry Belle. Dulli shelved these songs because they didn’t fit his fame of mind now. It makes me wonder if that persona will come back in following records. I do highly recommend the album for those Dulli fans out there. But for the newbies I still suggest Blackberry Belle by the Twilight Singers or 1965 by the Afghan Whigs. Top tracks: “So Tight,” “Cigarettes,” and “Wicked”

I’ve officially become to the end of my rope when it comes to rubbernecks on the road. Everyone bitches and moans about traffic, but they still have to slow down whenever there’s a car on the side of the road. I would almost let them slide when it comes to a big accident, but they’ve had a mile of stopping to see the accident. Move on you sick voyeuristic pricks. If there was a way to give tickets to rubbernecks, I’d be all for it. I can’t tell how frustrated I get after sitting in traffic to realize it’s all because people were slowing down to see a cop give someone a ticket. Also, don’t give me dirty looks when I honk my horn at you. You know you were looking to see something gruesome you sickos. Stop making things worse by trying to get a peek.

If the Cubs played only the Cardinals and the NL West, they would be unbeatable. They can be the only team with a winning record against St. Louis, but they can’t beat the Reds.

I’ve had somewhat high hopes for the new TV season. There are a few shows that I thought might have held some promise. If things go the way of “Threshold” we might be in trouble. That show belongs on the Sci-Fi channel, not national TV. This is what happens when you get an unexpected hit like “Lost.” I’ll be surprised if a single one of these supernatural or sci-fish shows survive the whole season.

I now want to get married. So that when we mention our attempts to bear offspring, I can use the phrase, “We’ve pulled the goalie.” Thank you, Bill Simmons and Bassel.

I watched the first episode of Survivor and was easily bored. The Amazing Race has easily eclipsed this show. There was one nice quote by some girl after her team won the first challenge. “This was the most difficult challenge, yet.” Uh, it’s been the only challenge so far moron, unless you consider making a fool of yourself enough to get on the show. Though, I’m guessing it wasn’t that challenging.

When I was up in Seattle, I bought a sweater at the Gap. Apparently when you spend over $50 you get a free CD of artists performing remakes of their favorite songs. I tried telling the cashier I didn’t want it, but she wouldn’t take “No thank you,” for an answer. So I’m now stuck with the CD. If you want it, let me know. I have no need for an album with that Mraz chump singing “One Love,” or Michelle Branch butchering “Life on Mars.” There was one thing that threw me for a loop when I read the track list.

Joss Stone “God Only Knows” (Beach Boys)
John Legend “Hello It’s Me” (Isley Brothers)
Michelle Williams “Let’s Stay Together” (Al Green)
Jason Mraz “One Love” (Bob Marley)
Keith Urban “Most People I Know Think I’m Crazy” (Billy Thorpe)
Brandon Boyd “Alison” (Elvis Costello)
Michelle Branch “Life On Mars” (David Bowie)

Those all made sense to me in some regard. Mraz needs to slip back into the shadows of coffee shops everywhere. Please! Bowie should have put an end to Branch every thinking to touch "Life on Mars." They are though all great to classic songs. Then there's the following:

Alanis Morissette “Crazy” (Seal)

Ms. Morissette’s choice is a Seal song? No knock against Seal, but Crazy doesn’t really rank up with those others. Ok Alanis, you keep on hoping that acoustic reinterpretation of Jagged Little Pill will revive your career. Meanwhile, I have this fork. Where do you want me to stick it?

I apologize for the last two “me” heavy posts, but I bought a scanner, and have been going a little nuts with it.

I Still Wear My Blankie on My Head

A little while ago, I had a discussion with my former girlfriend on the subject of Hats. Perhaps you yourself have noticed in the pictures I’ve posted that I’m always wearing a hat. Well, she noticed this as well. Her first inclination was that I was bald and hiding it. She’s half right. I am balding, but if you’ve seen “Goodness” it’s not exactly something I’m trying to hide.

You see I’ve been bald before when I was a kid. Back then I actually was embarrassed by it. I was diagnosed with a Wilms’ tumor when I was around 2. My Mom took me in for an ear ache, and I left with a Wilms’ tumor. In case you don’t know a Wilms’ tumor is a tumor of the kidney. How they got to the kidney from the ear I have no idea. For reasons I’m still trying to figure out, I survived. What followed was years of radiation and chemo. Back in the early 70’s they weren’t so proficient in battling cancer. Apparently nowadays they can just chuck the kidney do a little chemo if needed and you’re on your way. Anyway, the chemo meant I lived much of my early years bald. My embarrassment resulted in me always wearing a hat after chemo treatments. My hat of choice was the one you see to your right. No, the hat wasn’t much of an improvement. I never really had a special blanket or stuffed animal. I also never really sucked my thumb. My security was wrapped up in that hat. The benefit of this is parents struggle to keep their kids from clinging to their blanket, or sucking their thumb. They never think of the hat. So I’ve clung to it. Not that exact hat, but I feel more comfortable in a hat. It still holds that sort of security it did as a child. I basically never got rid of my childhood crutch. That is why when you meet me or see me I will most likely be in a hat. Unless, it’s church or I’m in a wedding or something that requires me to be hat free. Eventually, I think my Mom caught on. Though that wasn't till it was far too late for me to give up my hats.

To Geekdom and Back

Hello Ladies! This picture was taken during the peak of my life. Notice the arrogant pose. That look of disinteresst. I knew I was the shit! From kindergarten to the 3rd grade I ruled the roost. I bullied the younger kids. The girls all wanted me to be Luke Skywalker to their Leia, which was ridiculous and creepy considering how that turned out. Besides, everyone knew Solo was the man, so I had to be Han. I had the cool toys, the cool clothes, and sweet ass bedroom loft all to myself. Even at church, I was the crème de la crème of the bunch. My Dad had helped started the church, so I got in on the ground floor. Again, I was the shit. Then it all went awry. It began with two events. First, there was my 9th birthday party. My Mom planned this lavish party, and I invited everyone. Unknown to me there was one problem. My best friend at the time, Brent was held back to repeat the 2nd grade. We went to the same school and church, so we always hung out. It got to the point were I was being called Brent and he Brad. Of course, I invited him first. I was later made aware by another friend of mine what an error of judgment this was. In fact, I was told that if I didn’t revoke my party invitation to Brent nobody else would come. I didn’t revoke the invitation but my “cool kid” card was. Only four kids I think showed up, but I’d rather had them then a bunch of kids wanting free cake. I still remember us modifying my new race track to see how far we could launch the cars.

The second thing that happened was my parents divorced. Any ego or confidence I had left was completely wiped out by that event. As the case with a lot of kids, moving to a new place, new school, and with no friends can screw you up. The preference towards Star Wars, G. I. Joe, and buliding forts was a hinderence. What didn’t help either was that I didn’t have my Mom to dress me anymore.That’s the best way I can explain the picture to the right. The one nice thing was that if it got too sunny I could just close the drapes to my haircut.

Five years later and things didn’t get any better. Again I had to move. This time it was back to Ohio. I thought for a moment that I would be able to get back together with my previous friends. A few of them were going to my new high school, and we started going to the same church. How wrong I was. I wasn’t the “Good friend” Brad anymore. I was the “I kind of remember you” Brad. It was also at this point that I spent most of my time buried in comic books, and listening to Weird Al. I was also the son of a teacher, which meant I was never invited to parties or other social events. So I collected my comic books, went to my art house movies, and worked as a janitor to pay for it all. I at least had my Mom in town who worked hard to improve my fashion sense. It didn’t really take till college though.

I was still a hopeless cause till my fourth year of undergrad (there would be five years total). It was then that I realized how to turn my shyness into the appearance of cool, and to not give a rat’s ass. I may have been too shy to talk. But, if you just lean back in your chair, and have the look of disinterest on your face, it appears you don’t give a shit and would rather be somewhere else. I relied on this numerous times till I worked through the overbearing shyness. I also stopped caring that I was apparently the only die hard Neil Diamond fan, or that I would get in trouble for seeing movies, or that jeans weren’t allowed to be worn in class. It took awhile but this was a big step. I stopped trying to be everything to everyone in an effort to make friends. If you didn’t care, or you thought I was weird, I didn’t care. I didn’t regain my lost coolness, but I didn’t care about the geek part. Grunge hitting the airwaves, and the underground becoming mainstream in the 90’s, also helped too. This was evident, when at my five year high school reunion I had numerous people talking about the comic books they are reading. These were the same people who laughed at my speech on “Comic Books Aren’t for Kids Anymore.”

That leads us up to present day. I dress a little better. Some people think I’m cool. I can function socially in a group of five or more. But, I’m still that shy skinny punk who needs a sign from God in order to kiss a girl. I guess I never got back from geekdom hell, I just learned to make it home, and enjoy the compant of my fellow inmates.

My Rock N’ Roll Fantasy

I know I’m not the only person who has had dreams of being in a rock band. I will admit that I have perhaps put to much day dreaming into it. In fact, I have two rock n’ roll fantasies. The first is the more realistic fantasy where I am simply the cool quiet bassist who stands at the side of the stage with a cigarette, and a few groupies who know what being a bass player is all about. There would be no big stadium tours, no MTV, and no national radio airplay. We would be happy selling out clubs around the world, and playing for the fans of real rock n’ roll.

Then there is the grand Rock N’ Roll Fantasy. This is also where most of my day dream time goes toward. Yesterday, I was actually trying to determine what size my choir and string section would be. You see this isn’t a dream about me being in front of the mic with a throng of thousands singing my lyrics. This dream is about me creating the greatest rock n’ roll experience of all time. It’s Phil Spector’s wall of sound with a dash Parliament’s bounce, Rolling Stones’ swagger, James Brown’s funk, Plant’s howl, all simmering in black gospel! This is no shoe gazing mope rock or nappy world music jam shit. We are not the next “It” group. This is not the latest VW commercial jingle. This is fucking goose bump inducing rock n’ roll! Twin guitar attack? Duh. Hammond B Organ? Done. Therimin? Of course. Horn section? Done. Strings? Done. Choir? Hell yes! Prudes will lust, and sinners will repent! The blind will see! The cripple will dance! The geek will get the girl! This is ROCK N ROLL!

Of course I can’t write music, or play any instruments, but I can dream.

UNCLE!

I give! Those regular readers and friends know that I have never been a big fan of the Apple. Yes, they were all very well designed products. They always seemed to be overpriced. I always saw Apple as the luxury car of the computer industry. Sure I would look good with it, but I could get more features for less money going another route. I had a particularly strong distain for the iPod. My first Mp3 player was my Dell "ghetto pod." That was then followed by my Zen Micro. I still love my Zen Micro, and would have gladly purchased the new Zen Micro with the color screen. The problem is it still hasn't come out. So fastforward to last Thursday. There I am checking my e-mail when I click on one with the subject: iPod nano. I will admit I was smitten. There it was with it's beautiful color screen and it was so tiny. So incredibly tiny. So, I cried "uncle!" I went and bought one. I still really like my Zen Micro, but the iPod nano has yet to leave my side. Yes, I feel incredibly guilty about it in all respects. But come on! Look at it!

Jiff's Wedding w/ photos

To begin let us get a few non wedding moments out of the way. This being my first trip to Seattle, I was quite impressed. I could feel my lungs filling with fresh air with each drag of my cigarette. Also, you don't get many views like thise in Los Angeles:









I arrived at the airport early Friday. I had forgotten to set my alarm and I woke up with less than an hour to get to the airport. Thank goodness I flew out of LBC. Also, when the pilot say the current temperature in Seattle is 54, what's the first thing you think of? "Sweaters!" is what first went through my mind. I met up with Sara. She is a firend from the Regent days. She would be my travel buddy for the weekend. She's always good for a laugh.

Our first mission once we checked in was to buy some sweaters. Sara had not planned accordingly either. In the little visitors brochure at the hotel they offered 15% off at this mall. Here's a little advice. When a mall uses 15% offers to entice shoppers, the mall probably blows. This mall was no exception. The first problem was that it was located in Puyallup. The trip was worthless. How does any store in Washington not constantly carry sweaters? It was 54 degrees in September! Aren't sweaters needed year round? The trip did have one highlight. Here is the biggest pumpkin I've ever seen in person. It was HUGE!
I then went to the rehearsal dinner, while Sara did the wise thing and got some sleep. The dinner was nice. I hadn't seen Jeff in quite some time, and got to finally meet his fiance, Kristin.

The next day, Sara and I finally found a decent mall. We then went down to the Pike area in downtown Seattle. We ate at Etta's, walked around a little till we had to get back for the wedding. My whole time wandering around I kept thinking I have to come back and take my time with Seattle.

Finally the wedding:
The groomsmen:







"My Buddy Steven" sings:









Tim and Anna:









Bobby and Dal:









Me and Sara:









(I was caddying before the wedding, so I could buy a wedding gift.)

To explain this cake I will simply say that Jeff is from Texas. There was also a real wedding cake, but this one that warranted a picture:









Considering it was pouring buckets a few hours before the wedding, Jeff and Kristin were certainly blessed to get that window of sun. It was great seeing Lauren again. Jeff's family is always great. Missed Mol Jr. not being able to make it. One of the odd things is that Bobby, Tim, Dal and I were constantly getting recognized for the "Goodness" shorts we did. It was like being a mini-mini-mini celebrity. I hope this will somehow spur us on to make some more.

Overall, the trip was great. It was nice seeing the Jeff's side again. It's most likely the last time I'll see them. Who knows? I never did get to go to Safeco Field, but after hanging out in downtown I knew I'd be coming back to Seattle. So big ups to Jeff and Kristin. He finally found someone who he feels comfortable touching, and big ups to Seattle the land of rain, seafood, and really big pumpkins.!

Ode to Jeff

So, I’m off to wedding #2 this weekend. This time I only have to go to Seattle. He’s been my roommate twice. He goes by Jiff in the MOL Nation. I call him Jeff, or Jeffrey and sometimes Jimmy, but usually it’s Jeff. This is my tribute to Jeff.

I met Jeff at Regent University. I’ve bitched and moaned about wasting my time at Regent, but most of the friends these days come from some Regent connection. Hell, I even got my job because of a Regent connection. So I should stop bitching, even though it’s still the community college of grad schools. It was my first month or so into my MA. The only friend I’d made since being there was a Laurie Spadea. Hummana. Hummana. I’d seen Jeff in my other classes. He and Rob Strain were always sitting around and laughing. It seemed like they’d know each other before Regent. I forget what class it was, but the two of them started up a conversation with me. We talked about Beavis and Butthead I think. Jeff would later say it was because of my smiley face watch that he struck up the conversation. Finally, there were a couple guys who didn’t drink from the Pat Kool-Aid jug. In our Intro to Video class, (Yes, there was an Intro to Video class in MA Film and TV program) I gave of the hot chick (Spadea) to hang with Jeff. I wormed my into their production group, and it went on from there. I would later on become his roommate till Jeff wisely went to USC to get a real education. I would later join him, Bobby and Tim in LA, and we would be roommates once again.

My Favorite Jeff Moments:

Video Projects: Jeff, Rob, and I would always work as a group to do the assignments. We constantly got in trouble with either students or faculty with our projects. It began with our first project when we got notes that my comment on Michael W. Smith touching my ass was inappropriate. We came off as racist with Jeff’s Syrupee skit when in actuality it was more offensive to the mentally handicap. When my directing project had Jeff killing Sara with a lawn mower because he was scared to break up with her, it didn’t come across very well either. We even conspired with Jeff when he used his directing project to woo a girl he had a crush on. The culmination of all these were Rob’s projects. Somehow it was always Jeff and I working together to write them. I can proudly say Jeff was my first writing partner. Yes, Rob’s projects always came off better than our own.

Let’s Ride:

Sometimes Jeff just likes to drive with no destination in mind. I was privileged enough to join him on two of these trips. The first one was when the Regent group made plans to go to the Outer Banks. We stopped at Kitty Hawk (Location of the Wright Brother’s first flight) and walked among the sand dunes. Then we just kept going, and going. We drove all the way to the ferry to Ocacoke Island and then turned back. Jeff drove the whole way. The second trip was here in California. Jeff came into the apartment saying the guys (Tim, Bobby and Him) were going for a drive and if I wanted to come. Of course I did. The mountains had recently been hit with some snow, so certain roads were blocked off. Eventually we were able to find our way up to the Sequoia National Forest. There’s something about driving under a sign that says X number of people have died on this road. With no barrier and a sheer drop off I thought the number was a little low. Again we drove till we literally couldn’t drive any further. On the way back, we drove through a small town that was having some kind of festival. We stopped for dinner there, and took some time to walk around. Bobby, I think, even rode that “spin till you puke” ride.

The Christine Incident:

In grad school, Jeff had a slight crush on girl named Christine. Only he eventually got the girl. Since I had never seen the crusher get the crushee, I was rather impressed. There was one problem though. They were oil and water. Being the roommate, I was privy a seat to the arguments and frustration this relationship wrought. It’s quite an anthropological study watching the beginning and end of a relationship. The highlight being when they faked door slamming fight to see what I would do.

The Bus Strike:

When I first moved out here, I didn’t have a car. This meant I had to rely on LA’s wonderful Mass Transit system. My second year there, the bus drivers went on strike. Jeff, God bless him, drove me to work each day till the strike ended. Big ups to Chris too, who gave me the ride home.

My Mom:

Jeff was the first to know when my Mom took a turn for the worse. He knew even before me, because my cell phone had died, and my step-father had left a message on our phone. There was something comforting having Jeff know without me telling him. He also drove me to the airport. Jeff has a way of getting you to talk. Call it a gift. On the drive to the airport, he just drove and listened. I will always remember that.

Top Phrases Added to My Vocabulary by Jeff:

“Jews and Berries? I Don’t Understand?”
“Wheels Off”
“Gaia! Gaia!”
“What is Up?
“Dirty Pretty Girl.”
“Would you like 2 CD’s?”

That’s a glimpse into the impact Jeff’s had in my life. We never saw eye to eye on a lot of things, but he was there when you needed him. I always admires that he is always seeking. He’s always thirsty for knowledge. He is a good Godly man. He also does a top notch Ted Koppel. I raise my 2O fluid oz. bottle of Pepsi to you Jeff. God bless you, and may he give you the joy you’ve given us.

When Did Bon Jovi Become the MLB House Band?

Somewhere this conversation took place:

Record Exec #1: What are we going to do? MTV won't play us. All we get from VH1 is "Behind the Music." How are we going to reach the masses?

Record Exec #2: I'm stumped. We need some avenue, some platform to get this CD of steroid infused pop sap.

Record Exec #1: Steroid induced?

Record Exec #2: Yeah. Steroi- Baseball!

Record Exec #2: Fuck yeah! Who loves Bon Jovi?

Record Exec #1 &2: Baseball Fans!

Record Exec #1: We have so earned are paychecks today.

Record Exec #2: Damn straight. Wanna go hit on the new interns?

Mini Ramblings

I was sitting in the Atlanta airport eating Popeyes, when the Kanye West rant came on the TV. It was such a surreal moment. It is also one of the funniest things on TV this year. If you haven't seen Mike Myer's squirm click here. I kept thinking this would have made a great SNL skit.

Speaking of the Atlanta airport, I must give it big ups. It is probably my favorite major city airport. It has wide walkways, decent eating selection, PSP store, and the greatest thing of all: smoking rooms. Getting off a five hour flight with a man jabbing his feet into you can make you really want a cigarette. It also has a nice community feeling. Everyone mooches a light off the guy who snuck one on his plane. We are all there together, slowly killing ourselves. No, I never talk to a single one of them. LAX has nothing on Atlanta's airport.

The gadget whore in me was trembling with excitement when I saw the new Apple Nano. I've tried my best to stay away from Apple, but this might have broken my will.

Next Tuesday my video game buying drought ends. Burnout Revenge for all consoles and Burnout Legends for PSP come out that day. Yes, I will buy them both. It's the greatest video game racing franchise out there. Stick it Grand Turismodorks! Your game bores. Then the week after that "We Love Katamari" comes out. JOY!

I'm My Own Kryptonite

I’ve come to the conclusion that my artistic side is diminishing. Scratch that. Perhaps it’s my artistic side has never risen to my own expectations. Ever since I was a small tike, I’ve placed myself in the artistic pool of the population. I loved to draw, paint, and write. My parents encouraged me with summer art classes, and buying me art supplies. Everything I churned out was met with praise. Pictures I drew or stories I wrote would be placed on classroom bulletin boards or shown at the “best work” exhibit in art classes. This always and still does infuriate me. Whatever I put on paper or canvas never matched what my brain envisioned.

That is still the case today. Even something as simple as doodling is met with my ire for not being what I intended. What comes from my hands is never as good as what I pictured. It’s like there’s a wall between my brain and hands. I always thought that the wall would crumble the more I practiced, that my ability would reach my mind’s expectations. It hasn’t. To combat this wall, I began creating with no blueprint. If I doodled, I’d just draw a line and then create what I saw in that line. I didn’t write with an outline. I just wrote what I thought was the logical next step. Even then my hands worked out of synch with my mind. Now, I find myself placing all endeavors on the back burner, because I know it will only lead to frustration.

Perhaps, I misled myself. Perhaps, those who praised me really were just being nice. I’ve always succeeded at the logical. Math came easy to me as a kid. Working at WAMU, I excelled in the banking industry. Working as an accountant I did well. I become frustrated when the research questions I’m given defy logic. I’ve always worked the puzzles in magazines and games. I like finding the pattern, the logic. The problem is it also bores the living hell out me. Those jobs bored me. Math bores me. If there’s one thing I don’t like, it is boredom. This alone is the reason this blog even exists.

Even with these feelings of artistic inadequacies, I plow on because the doors have opened. I’m in what seems to be the right place at the right time. Though, I feel that perhaps these doors have just opened to a long hallway with a dead end. I’m sorry, this isn’t a search for pity. This is a mumbling frustration of my attempt to become what apparently only my mind’s eye will see. After 33 years, I’ve come to determine that perhaps my ability will stay at a high school level or lower. At this point in my life, I feel as if my abilities have actually diminished. I feel less funny, less talented. It’s as if I’ve become a dumbed down version of myself. Come to think of it I may just be pissed I drank heavily, smoke heavily, and am a snob for no good reason.

Bits O' Music

Once again I was watching VH1 Classic at 2am, and the video for this song came on. It was one of those, "How the hell did I forget about this" moment. I think this came out in 1982, which is before I made my foray into secular music. I do remember it though. It's a catchy little number, and I'm pretty sure The Choir ripped it off. I'd prove it if I could just find their Circle Slide CD.

Marshall Crenshaw-Someday, Someway-Marshall Crenshaw

If you are an artist or artist representative being featured on this blog and want me to take down a song, let me know, and it will be removed from the server immediately.

Bobs Wedding: Highs & Lows

Here’s a breakdown of my trip to Virginia Beach.

Wednesday:
As most friends of mine know, I am not a fan of the touching especially strangers. Lucky for me the man sitting next to me didn’t care. Before we even took off, he had his sandals off and invading my space with his dirty, dirty feet. He propped them up on the seat in front of him. He moved them over into my foot space. A few times he even jabbed his foot into my leg. It got to the point where it was Missile Command with feet. Also, I know sandals are big particularly in the summertime. If you want to wear them to the beach, picnic, to run an errand, that’s fine. But if you are in an enclosed space within close proximity of people, put some damn shoes on. I nor anyone else want to see you feet. Another thing with airplanes, just once I’d like to sit next to an attractive girl. Please, just once. LOW

Watched Oldboy on the plane. I was desperate to kill some time, so I bought the UMD for my PSP. Good movie, but very disturbing. It’s a Korean film about a man who has been held captive in a room for 15 years. He gets out, and tries to find those responsible. It does have one of those twist endings that leaves you feeling creepy.

Got to Bob’s late at night. We just hung out and caught up on things. Watched Entourage: HIGH, Watched The Comeback. I had never seen the Comeback, and I now know why. Where the hell are the laughs? It is such a completely unfunny show. It tries to be Curb or the Office, and fails in so many ways. I actually became less funny just watching that crap. Of course that's not saying much. LOW

Thursday:Hung out with Bob and Mike while they did their radio show. It brought back those days of doing my college radio show, except they’re professionals. It also confirmed my decision to get out of radio. HIGH

Had a nice dinner with Stephanie (Bob’s Fiancée) and her family. HIGH

Bob’s sister Erin and her fiancée came by later that night. I hadn’t seen Erin in five years, so it was nice to see her. She’s engaged to a Cub’s fan, and he’s also a good guy. HIGH

Bob, Andrew (Erin’s Fiancée) and I met up later with Mike and some of their friends for a poker marathon. It was one of those play till six in the morning marathons. It should have ended earlier, but Mike and I couldn’t put this kid away. He kept betting on crap hands but then hitting on the flop or the river. It was great playing poker again after so long. But it did have those irritating moments when the morons got lucky. HIGH

Friday:

This was my day to hang out with Melissa. We had lunch. We went to see Broken Flowers at the Naro. It’s a nice quiet and funny movie. It’s not outstanding but very good. Then we had dinner at Aldo’s. To top off the evening we went down to the beach, where there were a bunch of concerts going on. There was nobody I cared to see, especially when it meant standing next to high school kids spitting dip. Melissa’s neighbor works up in some bar called the Skybar. It’s at the top of the new hotel, and is their attempt to be a Miami bar. Because it’s only open to VIP’s and guests, I had to play the “I’m from California” card and asked to see the pool, which is on the same level. The highlight of the Skybar visit was seeing some European snobby twenty something getting thrown out because he wouldn’t leave with his underage girlfriend. He was acting “rich,” and was basically an asshole. Of course if he really came from money, why was he in Virginia Beach? The rich don’t go to Virginia Beach. During the whole day there was no bickering, complaining, or annoyance on either Melissa’s or my part. HIGH

Saturday:

It started off poorly when I locked myself out of Bob’s apartment for almost two hours. There’s nothing like sitting out in the afternoon heat with nothing to drink, smoke, or even kill time. I tried to find a way to break in, but was certain the neighbors would call the cops. LOW

After Bob finally showed up, I went to the rehearsal dinner. It was great seeing Bob’s Mom, and Dave and Billy. Bob’s Mom is one of those wonderful moms that all your friends love. I finally got a picture of Bob and others. HIGHThen came the “dogs got into the chocolate” episode. Bob’s two dogs, Mookie and Shea, got into two bags of chocolate during the rehearsal dinner. Mookie then projectile vomited all over the place. To make matters even worse he made certain to vomit in the most inaccessible areas. LOW

Bob had to drop off the music to the DJ at Peabody’s. We ended up hanging out there for awhile. There is no reason for a 33 year old, who doesn’t drink, to ever be at the meat market. I felt old when I’d go there five years ago. LOW

The rest of the night was spent at Bob’s. We played a little poker, ate a little pizza, and watched a chocolate tweaking Mookie go nuts. HIGH

Sunday:

The wedding was short sweet and to the point, as all weddings should be.
Stephanie looked beautiful. Bob didn't look too shabby himself.











Mike and Alfredo Torres were the life blood of the party.











Got to see Charlie after five years. He’s living in NY now, and just started working as a graphic designer. I recommend checking out his website. I never knew he was this good. There was dancing, drinking, talking baseball, and hugging it out.
A genius way to spend a Sunday and a weekend. HIGH

Side note: A few months ago, Bob and Stephanie had an impromptu engagement party at a Ryan Adams concert of all places. As an engagement present, Ryan Adams gave them some drumsticks and did the art on this drumhead for them. That is the shit.

My American Single for September