Dear Fat Man On a Bike:

"Hey skinny man! Why don't you put some fucking meat on your bones?" Why did you say this to me? I was simply walking to my apartment after a long day of sitting in solitary confinement, and out of the blue you felt obliged to comment about my weight in passing? What caused this hostility toward skinny people? Did a gang of skinny kids beat you up as a kid? Are you the only fat guy in your family, and your father berated you? Have you constantly been rejected by women because of your weight? How long have you been riding a bike, because it isn't helping.

As to me putting on weight dear sir, I have in fact tried. Perhaps, I should say my Mom tried. Do you know how much Ensure my Mom attempted to feed me. She tried both the shakes at first, and then moved on to the powder form. For some reason she thought being able to mix the powder into all the major food groups would make me eat more of it. Would you eat anything knowing that someone mixed an unknown white powder into it? She even tried to get me to put it in my Pepsi. None of that worked.

The thing is I don't like being this skinny. In fact I think most guys who are as skinny as me don't like it either. Most women go for the larger guys over the skinny guy. I call it the big bear effect. The bigger men provide a sense of strength and protection that us skinny guys don't. So, I'm sorry something happened to you that makes you hold a grudge against the skinny people of the world. Some of us are blessed/cursed with the inability to gain large amounts of weight. I don't hold the fact that your eat twinkies in your sleep against you. Therefore please don't hold the fact that I can eat a whole pizza and not gain a pound against me. And keep peddling.

Which One Are You?

Last weekend Southern California was graced with the presence of M.O.L. Jr. Saturday night, M.O.L. Jr., bobby, and myself went to the Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers at the Roxy. It was a great show, and the first time I'd ever been to a concert with bobby. (I think) Anyway, while I was doing a little people watching I started categorizing everyone. No matter what concert there are always these types of people there. So which one are you?

Front Row Mom: When men hit their mid-life crisis they buy sports cars, hire young attractive secretaries, and dye their hair. Women in their mid-life crisis end up at the front row of concerts. They usually are hammered, and trying to touch the crotch of every person on stage.

The Female Hardcore Fan: She too is in the front row, and usually leaning on lead singer's monitor singing every word to every song. You go through the whole catalogue of emotions in one night. They often travel in pairs or with Front Row Mom.

The Crazy Female Hardcore Fan: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! I looooooooove this band! Sob. Sob. Sob. They mean so much to me. Sob. Sob. Sob. Eek! I love this song! I don't know why I'm crying. I would do anything for them. Sadly, you often do end up doing anything.

The above categories come in a Skank version as well.

The Stoic Male Hardcore Fan: He is a few rows back. He nods to the beat during the whole concert. Occasionally he'll sing along. He smiles when the band changes something up from the previous 15 shows he's been to. He always hopes they play that one song from that German import EP he got six years ago for $40, but they never do. His only distraction is the cute girl to the left who sings along. If he only had the guts.

The Crazy Male Hardcore Fan: Take everything about SMHF and add flailing of the arms and a lot of screaming. Everyone in the venue hates him, even the band.

The Judge: Not to be confused with the Stoic, even though you have the same records that Stoic has. The difference is you hate the band now. They've never been as good since they got rid of their original guitartist. This new direction the band has taken sucks. You don't sing along except for when they play that first single from their first record, but you eventually catch yourself and feel guilty about it. Some might ask why you are even there or why you still buy every album. You'd give an answer, if you knew yourself.

The Party Girl Fan: As far as you are concerned the band isn't the only show in the building. You are there to drink and dance away the worst week you ever had at work. Heaven help anyone that gets in your way. No boys tonight (unless they are really really cute) just you and your girls. They can sometimes turn into...

The Grinders: Sometimes a couple and sometimes a couple of strangers. Drunk off of your ass you and your partner seem to think that the lack of light allows you to begin the mating ritual. Everyone around you is extremely disgusted, but you're too drunk to care. How you don't rub your hips raw, I have no idea.

The Non-Fan: You can't believe you got suckered into this. Does your life suck this bad? Are you this desperate to please your girlfriend/wife? The band sucks, but your significant other loves them. So you pay your dues for the hope of a little something something afterwards, if she gets drunk enough. The bar is your refuge from the crap on stage. You want to beat the shit out of CMHF.

The Creepy Touchy Drunk: Man, the world is great, man. Man, I love you, and you, and you man. These guys rock, man. Man, you're beautiful, baby. Can I touch your boobies? People are frightened by you. They pray you won't touch them, or that you will stop touching them. Problems really arise when you touch the wrong person. Why would anyone punch someone who loves them so much? You also probably need a ride home.

The Frat Boys: You aren't really a fan. You just heard this band is hot (according to Spin and/or Rollingstone). If they say they are an "it" band they must be right. In your glove compartment your real music collection consists of Creed, Dave Matthews Band, and Candlebox. You also hope there will be some hot chicks. You and your friends travel in packs hitting on anything with heels. You are the one that still thinks it's funny to yell, "Freebird!" You are usually the one punching CTD when he touches you. You hate fags.

The Scenester: You aren't a fan either. You only show up at the concerts of bands who appear on the cover of magazines. You are there to be seen, and hope someone recognizes you. You spend the whole concert chatting and chatting and chatting. When you get home you check Gawker.com to see if anyone puts you up there. You're still waiting for the background work on Saved by the Bell to payoff.

The Rest: You want to have fun and listen to good music. Unfortunately, you often have to deal with those listed above. God bless you.

I will admit sometimes I fall into the Stoic Hardcore Fan category.

The Lone Bright Spot

"You're a Cubs fan?"
"Yeah. That's why I don't date. I have enough pain in my life."

As predicted, the Cubs offense has vanished now that Lee is on the DL. During their last six games, do you know how many runs the Cubs have scored? Four! Four runs in the six games combined. In three of those six games the Cubs have been shutout. One of those shutouts even went to 11 innings. The most runs the Cubs have scored in one game during this six game span? Two! The miraculous thing is they won that game. Why did they win that game? Sean Marshall. Out of nowhere this season, a bit of sunshine has poked through. Marshall is a rookie who got a chance during spring training. Before then he had never pitched above AA. Now the big left hander along with old man Maddux have at least kept the Cubs in games. In Marshall's last four starts he has given up only 11 hits and 4 ER through a little over 25 innings. His ERA is a measly 1.42. He was never really touted as a top prospect, yet here he is. Why has he been successful? I think it's poise...and a really nasty curveball. Prior used to have that poise till Alou threw a tantrum in that certain playoff game in 2003. Wood has never had it, or at least never consistently had it. Now there's talk of him being the odd man out when Wood and Prior come back. Whaaat? Of course he's not going to keep up this ridiculous pace. He is still a rookie. He hasn't exactly faced power line-ups. I still think he's deserved to be locked into the rotation. Scouts often talk about players having "it." Well, Marshall has "it."

Of course I realize he's going to suck now that I posted about him.

My New Addiction: MLB 06: The Show

I bought this game for the PS2 almost 2 weeks ago, and I can't get enough. The thing is I have yet to play a major league game. My addiction is the career mode. Currently I am a 2B for Cleveland's AAA team. I'm in my second year. My first in a three year deal. I expect to be called up to the show later this year or next year because I'm tearing it up. That's the greatness of this game. You can have nearly all the detail of a baseball career while sitting at your couch. Don't like the team you are on? Demand a trade. Is your team in a funk? Have a closed door team meeting. You can even complain to the media. Another nice feature is that you don't have to play every out of every game. You can simply fast forward to your next appearance. If you're a position player you can ignore the fielding and simply fast forward to each at bat. This makes the season progress at much quicker pace.

To improve as a baseball player you have to achieve goals like drive in 90 runs in a season, or draw 4 walks in a series. These goals along with doing well in each game earn you training hours so you can improve your contact or power against left handed or right handed pitching. You can improve different aspects of your defense. There's a bar for nearly everything you can imagine. You can even improve your clutch hitting.

The game play is solid. The fielding can be a little slow particularly when trying to pull off a double play. But it's not nearly as awful as MLB 2K6. The pitching meter is solid. Not quite as good as EA's MVP meter, but good. When your pitcher starts getting nervous the meter bar moves faster. I hate how 2K6 has the ball icon bouncing around when the pitcher is in a tight spot. I like the graphics better on The Show as well. They seem cleaner.

There are few complaints with the game. First of all, every now and then you run into something implausible. For example, last night I faced a pitcher that threw over a 180 pitches. 180! Are you kidding me? What even made it worse was that his fastball was still clocking in at 97 around pitch 170. Also, your manager will be a moron sometimes. For example, bottom of the ninth and the bases are loaded. You are up to bat, and what does your manager do? He sends the base runner on 3rd. What manager does that with three outs, and your stud 2B who is batting .398 is at the plate? Also, does every minor league park have a green monster at dead center? I've had at least 10 HR's turn into doubles because of this thing. Why does nearly every team have one? There are also a few glitches. The biggest glitch is that player number 99 doesn't have a head. Every time 99 comes to bat he has no head. How did the programmers miss this?

Overall The Show is solid baseball game, and much better than 2K6. It has a solid online that's incorporated with MLB.com. There are other modes like franchise mode and rivalry mode, but career mode is where it's at. There is also a fun King of the Diamond mini-game, that can make an hour disappear quickly. MVP '05 was my favorite baseball game. I still think MVP is a more polished game than The Show, but the career mode puts The Show on top.

Ramblings (Hiatus Edition)

When I agree to work over hiatus I expect it to be easy going and relaxing. This past week has proven to be anything but that. This of course means I'm now really behind on the show bible. And I mean really behind.

Hey look the Cub's hitters are pressing. That or Dusty has implemented a clubhouse rule that requires them to see only 3 pitches at the most per at bat. Where would we be without old man Maddux and the kid Marshall? I know many will say that Prior and Wood will be coming back soon, but come on. I think it's best if the Cubs look at Prior and Wood as gravy. If they come back and pitch well, great, but don't plan on it actually happening.

A couple Twilight Singers items: First of all, emusic.com has a bonus track available for free download. I really like the track. They haven't rocked this hard on a chorus in some time. In fact it's one of the few tracks that sound like their concerts. They always rock their songs a little harder live, and that's how this track sounds to me. Secondly, Youtube.com has become a daily minefield of goodness. There are 25 music videos and live performances by the Afghan Whigs/Twilight Singers on there. Some of them are even from The Afghan Whigs really early stuff that I haven't seen in ages. There's tons of other great sports and music stuff on there you just have to search for it.

Ladies, is your boyfriend/husband's birthday coming up? Perhaps your anniversary is in the near future? Maybe you are getting married soon and want something special for that special night? Let me offer this advice. All those embarrassing unmentionables your friends got you that one weekend that you still can't really remember what happened? Toss them out. That frilly and lacy crap stores keep trying to pawn off on you is worthless as well. All you need is this:
And if it's his, all the better. This came out much racier than I intended. I just wanted to say there is something very attractive about a woman in a white oxford shirt. I apologize.

For those wondering if you should buy MLB: The Show or MLB 2K6, the answer is MLB: The Show. 2K6 is awful. More on this later.

My next big week is the second to last week of June. Lucha Vavoom is returning to the Myan! FlavaD and I got ringside tickets this time. We are going on the 20th if you are in town, and want to see one of the greatest spectacles in your life. Also, after Nacho Libre hits the multiplexes that same month, it's gonna blow up! The next night. I have tickets for the Twilight Singers concert. I haven't had a back to back night of genius like this since…I had a girlfriend. That sounds dirty too. I didn't mean it that way.

Has anyone seen the Wes Anderson American Express commercial?

Finally, I stole this idea from Kerri. This is perhaps one of the most nerdish ways to be pompous, but screw it. I made a quiz about myself too. I also don't think its half bad. 90 percent of the answers I believe can be found in this blog, but study ahead of time people. No cheating. We are on the honor system here. Take the quiz here.

Sitting by Myself

The office empty and quiet today. I sit here, alone, watching time tick by. To entertain myself, this has been running through my head all day.

First Impressions: Powder Burns

Three weeks before its physical release, the Twilight Singers have released their new LP Powder Burns on iTunes. I love early Christmas presents. After three days of listening only to this album here are my first impressions.

As a whole this album feels like a culmination of Dulli's previous work. There are hint of Twilight and Blackberry Belle, but then it's also more of a rock record than the two previous albums. There's also a stronger feeling of hope in this album than the previous albums. The first song, "I'm Ready" being a prime example with its chorus: "I'm ready to love somebody." Actually, the whole album feels like Dulli has seen a light and crawled out from a dark haze. This is evident not only in songs like "Candy Cane Crawl," (Which is Dulli's R&B classic) but in the music as well. Both "There's Been an Accident" and "Bonnie Brae" build to a gospel like climax with soaring background vocals and Dulli belting out his conviction. I think this is the strongest Dulli's sounded on any of his albums. The only hiccup in this album I think is "My Time (Has Come)." It doesn"t seem to fit this album to me. It feels like something from the Afghan Whigs' 1965 album. Maybe it's just the vampire lyrics.

So, where does this fit among the previous two albums? I think in the middle. I like Blackberry Belle better, but I also have a strong personal attachment to that album. I think it's better than Twilight. Again this is all personal opinion. The fact is that this is better than most albums that will be released this year. But then I'm severely biased.

I put five of my immediate favorites from this album in the player to the right.

Holding Pattern

Sorry guys, but this blog will be in a bit of a holding pattern this week. We are in our last week of production, which means we will be heading into our hiatus. Well everyone else will. I will be working. This week will be dedicated to finishing this season's bible. That's basically a recap of each episode along with all the forensics used in each episode and any character points that are brought up. Thankfully, Tamara did half of them and I only have to write 13 of them. Still, it will take awhile. I will most likely be back with you in a week, after I watch 13 hours of Ronald removing and replacing his sunglasses. Suhweeeet.

I'm a Great Uncle! The Great Brother Part Is Debatable.

So my niece Evie turned four this month. Being the wonderful uncle that I am I sent her a couple birthday gifts. There are two things that Evie loves: the color green and zebras. This makes gift giving easy. Since the green thing was done for Evie last Christmas, I decided to go the zebra route. I happened to find an adorable little zebra flashlight. Perfect. I shipped it out and got an email and picture yesterday claiming how much Evie likes her gift. See, I'm a great uncle.Today, I got another email saying she got the other present. I also got some other news: the flashlight makes noise. The zebra apparently goes "Doo doo doo doo doo doo over and over again." Whoops. I swear I had no idea. Evie it seems woke up in the middle of the night and started playing with her flashlight. So her poor sister was woken by the Doo doo doo's. I guess I'm a great uncle right only in Evie's eyes. I'm sorry.

This quickly reminded me of Christmas many many years ago. I opened up one of my gifts to see the Han Solo Blaster! I was so thrilled. I quickly ran and got batteries. I pulled the trigger and a piercing "blaster" sound emitted, deafening the family. I remember Mom's first words, "It makes noise?" That was my response when I heard the flashlight went "Doo doo doo." Again, I'm sorry.

&#%&$#^*%*~#*%$@*&%!

I knew I shouldn't have gone to the game. I sat on my couch tonight and turned on ESPN. Two minutes later the ticker scrolled that Lee had fractured two bones in his wrist and will be out 8 weeks. I know people are going to try to be upbeat about this, but it's not going to work out. Lee is the heart and soul of this team. He's the MVP at the plate and on the field. What would people say about the Cardinals if Pujols went down for 8 weeks.?If it was a fractured leg or something I could see him returning and having a decent finish to the season. This is the wrist we are talking about. It might be out of a cast in 6 weeks, but how long till it completely heals. There aren't many players that have returned to form after a broken wrist. Griffey in Seattle was the only one Bob could come up with. So, that's it. I'm not saying we won't play decent, but we aren't playoff bound. Not with this lineup. Not without Lee. Even in this mediocre NL my hopes are somewhat shot. I think that's the problem. Watching the team play early in the year, got my hopes up. They were playing solid ball, and scoring runs without the HR. Now everyone is going to overcompensate. Now we have to rely on Walker as our defensive 1B. This is the same Walker we were begging for someone to take because of his shoddy defense. Man, this blows. I know you non-sports fans don't comprehend, but this sucks. I'm not the only one that feels this way.

Oh What a Night! Mid of April back in 2006.

That was perhaps one of the more interesting baseball games I've gone to. It started off innocently enough with me getting some nice seats in the Lodge level behind home plate. Cub's rookie Marshall pitched well for a rookie. He struggled with control the first few innings and gave up a two run bomb in the second. The Cubs scrapped out a run in the first. Then the whole night went kind of haywire.

The point of change all happened when a foul ball was actually hit in my direction. For the first time in my life I had a chance to catch a foul ball. The ball glanced up off a guy's hands and was heading straight at me. Sweet! I couldn't believe my luck. I dropped my pencil and scorecard in anticipation. I had flashbacks to little league, and my father yelling, "Use both hands. Both hands!" In slow motion I watched the baseball close in on my hands. Then out of nowhere the jackass in front off me throws out his arm and deflects it to my left. I say arm because he was on his cell phone. Since he didn't have a hand free, he tried to use his arm to knock it down. Moronic LA people and their cell phones. So the ball went left and down my row. I closed in on it just as another guy's hand snatched it up. I looked up into the face of a guy I'm pretty sure had never been to a baseball game in his life. He looked like some waif artist guy who smokes his Parliaments and leaves Nietzsche on his coffee table when ever dates come over to his apartment. Dammit! So close. At least I know where I'm getting tickets the next time I go. There were at least six foul balls hit to my section. Section 108 rows A through J for those who want to know. Wait for the right handed bats to foul them back about once an inning.

After the foul ball fiasco, I was graced with the sound of the moron behind me immediately grab his cell phone and call his friend to see if he was on TV. Of course he was so close to catching it. During the rest of the game he kept saying how he could've caught that foul ball or that foul bal. When he wasn't blathering on about his unfounded foul ball catching ability, he was explaining the game of baseball to his date. Of course everything he told her was wrong. I offer up two examples. First it's the top of the fourth and the Cubs have men on second and third. The Dodger pitcher doesn't give Cedeno, the number eight hitter, a pitch to hit. It is often called the unintentional intentional walk. The walk loaded the bases. The moron then proceeded to comment on how dumb the pitcher was. Now the Dodgers were in trouble because the Cubs can break this wide open. The game was tied 2-2. Now any baseball fan knows the pitcher always bats ninth in the "real" league. And anyone that was watching this game would've seen that the Cub's pitcher hasn't even come close to hitting a pitch. The pitcher promptly struck out on three pitches, and the inning was over. The second moronic moment happened at the top of the eighth. He explained that if the Cubs didn't score in this inning or the ninth that the Dodgers could score a run in the ninth and win. If nobody scored then they would go into extra innings. Which is technically correct. The problem was the Cubs were up 5 to 4. I don't know what game he was watching. Thankfully he left at the middle of the ninth.

That brings up another point. Dodger fans suck. The first wave left after the 7th. The Dodgers were up 4 to 2. The next wave left after the 8th with the Cubs up 5 to 4. They left with their team down by one run. What the hell? By the top of the ninth, the stadium was nearly all Cubs fans. The only Dodger fans left were the really drunk ones who couldn't make it up the stairs yet. My final thing for the Dodger fans: Stop bitching about Piazza. That was eight years ago! It was one trade. If you want something to bitch about, become a Cub fan.

The last crappy thing that happened was watching Derrek Lee collide with Furcal at first base. Watching your MVP collapse to the ground and grab his arm can put a scare in you. You immediately heard every Cubs fan in the stadium gasp. Then you heard the Dodger fans heckling. They have no idea what pain is.

There though some good things that happened. After the injury to Lee and pitcher Eyre, the Cubs came back to score three runs on a few two out hits and a couple errors. The Cubs of last year would've folded. Also, Amy and her boyfriend were sitting in the section next to me. Amy plays the aggressive news reporter on CSI: Miami. I actually talked to her for the first time at the wrap party last weekend. Turns out she has season tickets at Wrigley about five rows behind home plate. Her boyfriend then commented on how he could never break up with her now. I thought, "Break up? I would've married her day one. I would bust my ass to make that relationship work." Still, they are a nice couple, and it was a great coincidence.

Overall it was a nice night at the ballpark, and proves that you never know what will happen in baseball. The Cubs have yet to lose two games in a row. So, the Cubs kick ass right now too.Here's my mess of a scorecard. After the second double switch because of the injury it became almost hopeless. I'd like to point out that I took both of these picture with my cell phone's camera. My cell phone kicks ass.

Leavin' for a Cubs Game. I Don't Know If I'll Be Back Again.

Am I in danger of being a GRUP? Are you?

During my search for end of the internet yesterday, I came across a video game designer referring to himself as a GRUP in his blog. "A what?" I asked myself. Hating the possibility that I could be ignorant of an inane pop culture reference, I did a little research. (It's what I do.) I came across this lengthy article in New York magazine. Is it New York magazine or The New York magazine? Can I not use the "The" because it makes it too close to The New Yorker? Just wondering. So the writer, Alan Sternbergh, helps define what a GRUP is:

If being a Grup means being 35, and having a job, and using a messenger bag instead of a briefcase, and staying out too late too often, and owning more pairs of sneakers (eleven) than suits (one), and downloading a Hot Hot Heat song from iTunes because it was on a playlist titled "Saturday Errands," and generally being uneasy and slightly confused about just what it means to be an adult in these modern times-in short, if it means living your life in fundamentally the same way that you did when you were, say, 22 then, let's face it, I'm a Grup

I turn 35 this year. I'll be honest. I think I might be a Grup. Much of Sternbergh's interviews are with married Grups who have kids. I obviously don't fit in that category. Also, the examples all live in New York and have high paying jobs. Again, that's outside my category. I guess I am a poor Grup. Here are a few of my examples of why I might be a Grup.

1. Even if this TV thing doesn't work out, I can't see myself taking a job where I can't wear jeans and a ball cap. My jean to pants ratio is 4 to 1, and some of those pants still have tags on them.

2. If my little sisters are any example, I probably am going to attempt to force my musical tastes on my kids. (Not that it works. They still gravitated to show tunes. I blame the Kessler side for that.)

3. I take pride in shaving only once every blue moon.

4. I save money for video games.

5. I still buy toys.

6. I keep ridiculous hours.

Here are some of Mr. Sternbergh's examples:

Let's start with a question. A few questions, actually: When did it become normal for your average 35-year-old New Yorker to (a) walk around with an iPod plugged into his ears at all times, listening to the latest from Bloc Party; (b) regularly buy his clothes at Urban Outfitters; (c) take her toddler to a Mommy's Happy Hour at a Brooklyn bar; (d) stay out till 4 A.M. because he just can't miss the latest New Pornographers show, because who knows when Neko Case will decide to stop touring with them, and everyone knows she's the heart of the band; (e) spend $250 on a pair of jeans that are artfully shredded to look like they just fell through a wheat thresher and are designed, eventually, to artfully fall totally apart; (f) decide that Sufjan Stevens is the perfect music to play for her 2-year-old, because, let's face it, 2-year-olds have lousy taste in music, and we will not listen to the Wiggles in this house; (g) wear sneakers as a fashion statement; (h) wear the same vintage New Balance sneakers that he wore on his first day of school in the seventh grade as a fashion statement; (i) wear said sneakers to the office; (j) quit the office job because-you know what?-screw the office and screw jockeying for that promotion to VP, because isn't promotion just another word for "slavery"?; (k) and besides, now that she's a freelancer, working on her own projects, on her own terms, it's that much easier to kick off in the middle of the week for a quick snowboarding trip to Sugarbush, because she's got to have some balance, right? And she can write it off, too, because who knows? She might bump into Spike Jonze on the slopes; (l) wear a Misfits T-shirt; (m) make his 2-year-old wear a Misfits T-shirt; (n) never shave; (o) take pride in never shaving; (p) take pride in never shaving while spending $200 on a bedhead haircut and $600 on a messenger bag, because, seriously, only his grandfather or some frat-boy Wall Street flunky still carries a briefcase; or (q) all of the above?

Those items in bold are ones that I agree with. Actually, I only spent $125 on my messenger bag, but I agree about the suitcase. The other non-bold items I would hope I would never do or think. $250 on a pair of jeans? Snowboarding? Misfits T-shirt? Hell no. I'm actuasurprisedised he mentions Bloc Party numerous times in the article. I would think a Grup would consider them "sooo 2005." This article was written this month.

So, am I a Grup? Yes I am. In fact I would say I am more of a Grup than those featured in the article. At beginningning of the article, the writer adds the synonyms: yupster, yindie, and alterna-yuppie. I'm going to claim that a Grup is different than those other terms. A Grup has nothing to do with the yuppie sect. I may be wiser. I may have a little more stable job. I may be more financially responsible. I may date more, but I am living my life pretty much how I lived as a 22 year old. Actually, I'm probably living my life like I wished I lived my life when I was 22 year old. But I still hold to that mindset. I am not really growing up, which seems to be the main point of being a Grup. I am not participating in those things that are associated with being a grown up. These yupsters just seem to-

Ah screw it. I found this article interesting, which is weird because I hate labels. Anyway, I decided to write blindly about it and see where it went. I now hate the way this has turned out. I'm not worried that I might become a Grup. I know I won't. I listen, wear, and do what I like. For everything that someone does or has that puts them in a certain defined box, there is something else they do or have that takes puts them in another group. I have Grup tendencies. I have MOL tendencies. I have geek tendencies. You know what that makes me? That makes me Brad. You're you. I like you. I like me (usually). I'm sorry I wasted your time with this.

I Watched This Movie in Honor of Bobby

My favorite moments was this:
I love afternoon cable and I love having Good Friday off!

I Hate to Admit it...

But I watched a full hour of American Idol on Tuesday night. There is an American Idol semi-office pool this year. I'm sort of the commissioner, so I have to keep up with who is booted. This usually means checking the last few minutes of the show, or checking the message boards. For some reason I decided to watch a whole episode. That reason was Queen. Now I'm not a huge fan of Queen, but I was intrigued to see if anyone could possibly pull off one of their songs. I don't know what I was thinking because clearly none of them could. I'm slightly disappointed that Queen even involved themselves in such things. Actually I'm not. They did agree to the "musical" We Will Rock You. (sigh) The thing is none of the "singers" were bad enough to be enjoyably bad. The only highlight was watching gAce trying to tell Brian May and Roger Taylor how he wanted them to play their song. I was really hoping May would just take a guitar to his head. So here's a little recap from a first time viewer and first time caller.

The show begins! Wait! The number one show in America has this for an opening? Four seasons and you can't come up with something better? Tron looks better than this. The Barbie video game looks better than this. Bobby could make a flip book cartoon better than this.

Anyway, some guy appropriately named Bucky comes out and does Fat Bottomed Girls country style. This season's crop must be awesome if Bucky made this show. He's properly lambasted by Simon. I don't understand why people hate this Simon guy. I mean other than the two sizes too small T-shirt.

Then my whipping boy for the evening gAce comes out to sing We Will Rock You. Um...cop out. I don't even consider We Will Rock You a song. It's more of chant to a riff isn't it? Either way, gAce blows. Once again I'm glad I have tinnitus. gAce is clearly the male version of the stupid blonde stereotype. He gets by on his smile and hair. I hate him.

Next up: Lita Ford! Sweet! I can't believe they let Lita Ford on. And can I say that Lita Ford looks fantastic for her age? Why does everyone keep calling her Kellie? Anyway, Lita goes on and attempts Bohemian Rhapsody. Lita seems a little more happier and bouncier than her "Kiss Me Deadly" days. Lita sucks it and yet the judges all like it for some reason. Even they don't know why they like it. Nice try Lita. "If I close my eyes forever!"

One question: If Randy Jackson and Stewart Scott were in the same room, could you technically say there were still no African American's in the room? It's like watching a real life Don "No Soul" Simmons.

Curly takes to the stage. His Queen song for the night is Innuendo. Whaaaaat? When Queen says they've never played a song live, perhaps you should choose a different song. Curly sticks with it and does a rocking cover of a Scott Stapp cover of Queen. Which in the real world means it sucks, but in American Idol world is apparently good. Awful song choice.

Next some cute brunette is going to sing "Don't Stop Me Now." Finally, a good Queen song. This the first since Fat Bottom Girls in my opinion. I admit now that I will always picture pool cues and zombies when I hear that song. The brunette though changes her mind, and does the theme song from Highlander. She clearly didn't pick this song by herself. There is no way she even heard of this song or the movie Highlander. She must have just asked for one of their slow songs. She actually does ok for American Idol. Still I feel like she copped out. She must only be able to do slow songs.

This just in! Apparently that wasn't Lita Ford singing. It was just some girl named Kellie dressed like Lita. I apologize to Lita Ford and the Ford family.

I'm going to give this next guy a little credit. First off he does a great Queen song, and it's a bitch of a song to sing. He's passable too. He does get big points deducted for that DJ intro. You should never have admitted that…never. Unless you do a blog.

Now here comes the fan favorite. El MOL...I mean Taylor Hicks! He changes his mind too on what song to sing. He decides on Crazy Little Thing Called Love because he wants to get back to the dancing Taylor. Suhweet! Two minutes later. Suhuuuck. Somebody shoot him, or me. Are you serious? People love this guy? You know on second thought I can see why people like him. He seems nice. He's obviously just having fun. I just don't see this guy ever being an American Idol.

For the finale, straight out of prison it's Lil Kim! Apparently, I'm wrong again. Her name's Paris and she will be attempting The Show Must Go On. The song's too big for her, and I still have no idea what I actually saw. I'm sure she must do better on other songs.

Thankfully we are finished. I give my vote to the brunette and to the guy that looks like the brother of the guy who played Gollum. My one disappointment was that nobody did a song from the Flash Gordon soundtrack. That would have blown Simon's mind. They could even do some of the dialogue to the movie. Flash! Aaaaah! Somebody could have sealed this beauty pageant up if they did Flash Gordon.

Also, has nobody figured out that the judges are all animatronics? It's like the Country Bear Jamboree only with fewer words programmed in. And that's being kind. Since this is my first real viewing, has the crowd ever booed a contestant? That I'd like to see. But I assume every audience believes the contestants can do no wrong.

I am now a Pill Popper

Yesterday I decided to take advantage of this thing called health insurance. For the first time in six years I stepped into a doctor's office. I will say I take a little pleasure in listing my history of past and current ailments for new doctors. The best is when you go to the emergency room. All the doctors in training gather outside your door like you are a celebrity. If only I wasn't lying on a table in my skivvies and a paper "gown." I've thought perhaps I could rent myself out as a walking specimen to local hospitals. There's the problem of always being in the "gown."I don't have the legs or ass to pull off such a revealing outfit. Also, my scars aren't the sexy kind of scars.

So, my new doctor asked the standard question: "Have you had any previous health problems?" I gave my list, pausing for the doctor when his hand cramped. My current problem has been the recent onset of an arthritic hip. I knew it was coming. Since I have one leg shorter than the other it was unavoidable even with the shoe lift. The real problem with this ailment is that I now have to take pills. Again, I knew this would eventually happen but I thought I had a few more years. No such luck.

I realize I'm writing a post in which I'm bitching about taking pills, but you should understand this is coming for a guy who took chewable aspirin through junior high. I crushed the adult aspirin up after that. Eventually I learned to take pills, but I still hate it. Now I'm stuck taking four a day. I should say four types. Two of them I have to take multiple times a day, and they are huge. I even have to go buy one of those pill containers that breaks everything down into days. I thought for sure I had four or five more years till I had to buy one of those. I realize I have a no room to complain. I just hate taking medicine. There will never be spoonful of sugar big enough.

For those who don't know, here's the short list of ailments.

1973: Wilms' tumor
1974-current: Scoliosis that resulted in me wearing a back brace from 1985-1988. The back brace was actually kind of fun. Except that it tore holes in all my shirts and began to stink. It was then somewhat corrected in 1988 when they fused two rods to my spine.
1988: The scoliosis correction led to it being noticeable that my left leg was an inch shorter than the right.
1993-5: Ulcer-eh not that bad really
1999-current: Psoriasis (suck!)
2003-current: Tinnitus (great excuse when in boring conversations)
2006: Arthritic Hip (NEW!)


It's funny you take aways the first ailness and the most of the rest go with it. Wilms you bastard.

All Done!

I Eat This Orange in the Honor of Mandy

ESPN Might Get Me Fired!

Today has been a little rough at work. I kind of dropped the research ball, but was able to pick it up on the first bounce. The problem is I dropped it right in front of the boss. Cut to a few minutes later, and I'm watching an old "This Is Sportscenter" ads. Because it was a particularly funny one I let out a chuckle. Little did I know but the boss was talking to another employee to make sure that my research got into the next revision. Sure enough she sees me chuckle. Her response, "Brad's laughing at me." What? No! It was ESPN! But of course I can't say that. So now the boss thinks I was laughing at her, after I already dropped the ball on the topic she was discussing. Thank you ESPN. Thank you.

Ramblings (Weekend Recap)

Saturday was one of those days. By one of those days, I mean double-feature day! Hell yeah! After getting my hairs cut, I booked it to barely make the next showing of The Inside Man.

Side Note: When you go in for a haircut, how much time must elapse between sitting in the chair and the actual haircut before you can change your mind and realize you don't want this person to cut your hair? Are you locked in once you sit down in the chair? Or is it once the apron is on? How rude is it to say you don't want this person to cut your hair? Does the conversation go like this? "Look, I'm sorry I'm just not confident with you cutting my hair. It's not you. It's me. I'm certain there will be someone else walking through your door who would love to have you cut their hair. They will probably have an even better head of hair. It's just I can't understand a single word you say." That conversation never happened. I spent half an hour hoping I understood what she asked, and she understood my answers. Luckily I always wear a hat and I don't have a whole lot of hair left. Another question, how come the population of balding people still have to pay full price for a hair cut. One third of our head you don't even need to touch, yet we still pay full price? Don't we suffer enough? You have to use less electricity for the razor. You have to use your scissors less. Our haircuts don't last as long. All I'm asking is a third off the price.

Back to the movies. I saw Inside Man first. It was fine. Nothing bad, nothing spectacular. Just a solid movie. My one question, and I don't think I'm ruining anything here. When Denzel holds up the ring to Plummer, is that the worst special effects ever in a big time motion picture? I realize Lee wanted Denzel's face and the ring to both be in focus, but did you have to make the hand out of cardboard and a popsicle stick?

Leaving the theater, I realized I didn't want to go home and listen to race cars buzzing my apartment. I also didn't want the hassle of finding a parking spot. So, I went and saw V for Vendetta. Probably not the wisest choice. After reading Jiff's 3CT post, it took a good thirty minutes till I could stop picturing V shopping at Best Buy. Once I got past that it was ok. I recommend reading the comic book instead. I wish Brick was playing closer to Long Beach.

The rest of the weekend was baseball, baseball, baseball. Here are a few things I made note of during the first week of baseball.

The Cubs will not be as bad as they were last year. That is if they keep playing like they have been. I've noticed three big differences between this year's Cubs and last year's.

1. The Cubs haven't had this strong of a bullpen in years. The Cubs might have paid a lot for Eyre and Howry, but it seems to have been the right move. I still don't feel comfortable in the late innings, but it's not a complete sense of dread. This also affects the ability for the Cubs to come back. The last few years any time the opponent had a lead you knew whoever they brought in would just give up a bigger lead. Now, the Cubs have come behind in the last two games in the eighth and ninth innings because the bullpen kept them in the game.


2. Speed and Hustle. With Cedeno, Pierre, and Jacque Jones the Cubs now have some legitimate legs to run the bases. Seeing Cedeno take an extra base last night on a single, I was bewildered. The Cubs don't hustle for extra bases. At least not the Cubs of the last few years.


3. Clutch hitting. Usually if the Cubs weren't ahead by the 6th or 7th inning they were done. It always seemed like they mailed in the last few innings or everyone tried to hit home runs. Sure in the last three games the Cubs scored all their runs via the home run. But men got on base by taking walks, and being patient. This probably won't happen the rest of the season, but it's good to see a glimpse of it in a series.

Other Non Cubs observations:

Watching the Cubs, I also realized that the Cardinals need help in the bullpen, and I still hate La Russa.

The AL is a lot stronger than the NL.

With the Brewers, Tigers, and Indians being able to build a team from within, do the Pirates, Royals, and Reds have any excuse?

Why do people keep giving Clemens standing ovations where ever he goes? Why? Is that how he's going to decide which team he goes to: the Clemens Applause-O-Meter?

Did anyone see the Darren Daulton interview last night? He had those Andy Kaufman "Who's Driving" eyes going on.

Will baseball ever see teams again like the 93 Phillies, 86 Mets, or 90 Reds? If we won't, why?

I like the new baseball card graphics of ESPN's Baseball Tonight. I still hate the Trifecta though. ESPN can give me a full hour of cheerleading, but I only get 40 minutes of Baseball Tonight?

What incriminating evidence does Stuart Scott have that ESPN allows him to do those dumb poetry readings? It was ridiculously funny at first. Now that I realize how serious he is about it, it's just sad.

I love baseball season.



Oh. I also picked up Ghostface Killah's new album, Fishscale, (Stop laughing). It's the front runner for rap album of the year.

For Your Information

Since at least MOL Jr. and Wunderkind have asked more information about the Twilight Singers, I put up the old list of favorites in the music player to the right. Click play. I should also say when played live the songs are cranked up to about 11. There are also a couple new songs on their myspace page. They aren't my two favorites from the concert I went to last month, but they are solid. I also figured why stop at the Twilight Singers. Here are the links for Jeff Klein's myspace page and The Afterhours. They will both be opening up for the Twilight Singers. Dulli actually helped produce both their albums.

Twilight Singers myspace
Jeff Klein myspace
The Afterhours

Ramblings

I tried quitting Lost, but my Tivo won't let me. I missed a couple episodes. Or so I thought. Checking my Tivo I discover it recorded the episodes I missed. Sure, enough I'm kind of hooked again. I mean the blacklight map was a nice little gift to the viewers. I will also say I came up with the idea of there being a supply drop about a year ago. I know Brian will say he came up with it, but he's wrong.

With a crammed premiere episode, Thief hadn't exactly won me over. Mr. Braugher was dynamite as always, but there was something missing. This week's episode though got things going. You can see the conflicts more clearly, and really it's great just watching Braugher act.

I think 24 has blown it big time with their huge reveal at the end of this week's episode. Doesn't that completely negate the first half of the season? They've always been somewhat ridiculous and overboard with their twists and turns. That's part of the fun of the show. I think this is too much though. They have a crap load of explaining to do to make it even possible work.

Dom and I finally worked out a fantasy baseball trade.

The Twilight Singers announced the dates of their official tour. I put in bold the dates when they play close to most of the readers here. Now I really don't expect any of you readers to go (except Bob). I simply puts this up to make you think about it. Maybe you have nothing to do that night? Maybe you'll be in a particular mood to hear some rock n roll in the month of May or June? I'm just saying this is something you could do. The Italian rock group Afterhours and songwriter Jeff Klein will be opening up. Don't you want to hear some new music?

MAY

18 Minneapolis MN - Varsity Theatre
19 Chicago IL - Metro
20 Newport KY - Southgate House
21 Indianapolis IN - The Vogue
23 Columbus OH - Little Brothers
24 Cleveland OH - Grog Shop
25 Detroit MI - St. Andrews Hall
27 Toronto ON - Lee's Palace
28 Montreal QC - Cabaret du Musse Juste Pour Rire
29 Boston MA - Paradise Rock Club
30 Philadelphia PA - Theatre of Living Arts (TLA)

JUNE

01 New York NY - Irving Plaza
02 Washington DC - 9.30 Club
03 Carrboro NC - Cat's Cradle
05 Atlanta GA - Smith's Olde Bar
07 New Orleans LA - One Eyed Jacks
09 Austin TX - The Parish
10 Dallas TX - Gypsy Tea Room
12 Denver CO - Larimer Lounge
13 Salt Lake City UT - Club Sound
15 Portland OR - Doug Fir Lounge
17 Seattle WA - Neumo's
19 San Francisco CA - Great American Music Hall
21 Hollywood CA - Avalon

Speaking of the Twilight Singers. In case you didn't notice, the new guitarist commented on this blog. Yes, that might be the highlight of my blogging career. Yes, I'm a nerd.

PLW, have you seen Slither yet? It satisfied that "monster matinee" jones I often have.

A few people have asked me if I have high hopes for the Cubs this season. My response: Glendon Rusch is our #2 pitcher. Glendon Rusch! That means no.

Finally saw Fever Pitch on HBO. Many people have suggested it because I'm a Cub fan and I guess I'm supposed to relate. You know what? It sucked! If I was a Red Sox fan I'd dislike that movie even more. First of all, the baseball aspect wasn't even used well enough to disguise the fact that it's really a chick flick. Second, that is not a die hard fan. That's a nut.

Finally it's that time again for the Long Beach Indy car race. This means a couple things for me this weekend. First of all, there will be absolutely no parking. Second, the race will be less than a mile from my apartment. You might be thinking that could be cool. Yeah, I'm real close to an Indy car race. My problem. Have you heard these cars. It's like the Swarm is buzzing my front door every five seconds. Third, there will be no parking.

You Can Trust Me...maybe.

I admit I lie sometimes. I admit that I sometimes have the smile where it looks like I'm up to no good. But, I think on the whole I'm honest and not that sneaky. Right? Then why won't Dom accept a fantasy baseball trade from me? I offered him 2B Marcus Giles and closer Chad Cordero for speedster Chone Figgins and closer Keith Foulke. I know I'm overpaying for steals. Bob knows I'm overpaying for steals. Does anyone think Foulke's 90 year old knees are going to hold up through the year, or even this month? When I told Bob that it was declined, he was confused as well. So, why did Dom decline? Apparently, I'm a sneaky bastard that is always trying to pull something over on people. It could be his baseball knowledge is inferior and he's afraid to let it show. (But that doesn't really add to the theme of this post.)

This is part of the internal conflict between Good Brad and Evil Brad. When I say "Evil Brad," I mean more in a rebellious cliche "bad boy" way than a keep me away from sharp instruments and puppies way.

Evil Brad has always existed. He would sneak a Pepsi late at night when everyone was asleep even though he had his parental designated limit of two for the day. He drove too fast on the three wheeler when he was on the other side of the lake and nobody could see him. Evil Brad would try to string together as many swear words as possible even though it ended up making no sense at all. Evil Brad would ask to borrow a step-uncle's recording of some crappy move knowing that Porky's was recorded on the tape as well. He would buy Boston's debut album and hide it in his dresser. Yes, I realize that last one is actually lame as well as evil. During those days and on into undergrad Evil Brad may have existed but nobody really saw his face. Good Brad easily dominated Evil Brad those years.

The last couple years of undergrad Evil Brad began to surface. It occurred because of the old familiar teen movie problem that "I was tired of being so nice." I was tired of being viewed as always the nice guy. It would still be a few years till nerds and nice guys actually became viewed as studs. That's when Evil Brad started to surface. Evil Brad became the shell to protect Good Brad. Because Good Brad couldn't say "no" to people, Evil Brad would show his face so people wouldn't ask in the first place. Rather than shy Good Brad sitting at a party looking like a recluse, Evil Brad would show he didn't care if he was talking to anyone or not. Good Brad still at that point controlled everything.

Now Evil Brad might have a little too much power. Evil Brad controls the tongue a little too much. Evil Brad has shortened Good Brad's tolerance of morons considerably. Evil Brad can really be a prick sometimes. Good Brad is still the core. I help my friends and family when they need it. I always over tip. I am still a nice guy. It's just the shell is maybe a little too thick. Now I'm seen as cold, a little sneaky, and sometimes mean towards those that irritate me. So maybe this whole Evil Brad shell has back fired a little. But could anyone have predicted that Emo and nerds would take over the world?

Perhaps the real problem is that Good Brad was never allowed to mature and grow. Maybe the real question is why I've associated Good with being a wuss. Clearly I have no idea where I'm going with this post. I just wanted to vent that Dom turned down two trades I offered, because he didn't trust me. Sorry I wasted your time.

Patches, feline. A cat barely alive...

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic cat. Patches will be that man. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster. Well, except for the tail. We can't do shit about the tail

Browsing through my photos last night for a picture of Mandy as a tyke, I came across this photo misprint that I kept. The cat in the one half of the picture is Patches. Over the years, we had many animals pass through the hallowed Kessler halls. We had cats, dogs, a bunny, and the meanest parakeet this side of the Ohio River. You have to figure there's a reason a bird is named Nipper, and it's not a good reason. Back to Patches. I don't remember how we got Patches. We lived on a nice piece of land, so most likely Patches just let herself in the front door.

Patches wasn't the friendliest cat. Though, what she lacked in interspecies skills, she made for by being a bad ass cat. She sassed. She killed for us and left their tiny carcasses on our doorstep like sacrifices. While that not really cute, it was disgustingly endearing. She also climbed really tall ladders. That's where the ladder comes in. At least once a day she would climb that ladder to sleep up in the rafters. Yes, that's pretty tough for a cat. Along with toughness though comes stupidity as well. The stupidity was that she often slept in the fan area. You see where I'm going with this? Yes, one fateful night the fan was turned on with Patches sleeping. The next morning Anne Marie ( I think) found Patches lying at the bottom of the unfinished pool. So, not only did Patches get pureed by the fan, but she basically fell the full length of the ladder plus another six feet into the bottom of the pool.

Patches though would be rebuilt except for the tail. Does anyone know what happened to it. Ok, so she didn't become a bionic cat. It's still pretty amazing that she survived. She did have a slight limp, but she still brought sacrifices to the doorstep. She was still ornery.

Happy Birthday Amanda Michelle!

Another baseball season is upon us. Yes, this is one of my favorite times of the year. There is though another reason I love the beginning of April. Amanda Michelle Kessler was born on this day. The youngest sibling of us all. It seems just a little while ago I was giving you a ride on wobbly merry-go-round in a shirt from the Michael Jackson collection. Now you're 20 years old and finishing up your first year of undergrad. I don't know how you managed being the youngest of seven. Perhaps that's why you could always be found with your nose in a book. I remember you hiding when I wanted to take your picture. I remember the late nights watching TV, working on the computer, or just talking. I may have always been that last to go to bed, but you were always the second to last. I remember you hugging me when I first walked in that door at Maine. I thank you for trusting me enough to be a confidant. I thank you for being the first sibling to visit me in California. I thank you for our little IM conversations. You make work go that much faster. I thank you for wanting to be a Cubs fan. Most of all I thank you for being the best littlest sister anyone big brother could ever have. I love you Mandy, even more than baseball season.

The Day Daredevil Brad Died

Back in the day I used to be reckless. I used to be a daredevil. I'd jump across or down from anything. Fireworks were more fun when aimed at people. I covered a little bit of my daredevil ways in this post. One day in 1986 my daredevil life came to an end.

My Dad, my brother and I had moved back to Ohio. With no woods to explore or burn down, my brother and I had to get a little more creative. We had wrestling matches in our new big house. We tried playing cops and robbers in the neighborhood. That came to an end when my brother nearly got shot by a police officer. I had the basketball hoop outside, but there was no thrill, no danger in that. Unless you count the strong layups where you often face planted into the garage door. I needed to fill that thrill vacancy. So, I decided on skateboarding. I could ride it around the town, and get my thrills with jumps and tricks.

I convinced my Dad to buy me a skateboard. I didn't know any skaters, and therefore had no clue about what made a good skateboard. This meant we went to Toys R Us and bought a skateboard that I thought looked cool. There was another flaw in my decision making. Wheels and I don't go together. With the scoliosis and one leg shorter than the other, I have the balance of a toddler. So why did I think I could possibly learn to skateboard. I have no idea.

With my new skateboard fresh out of the box, I went to the back alley to pull off some tricks. I was one of those kids who ignored the idea "crawling before walking." My little brother was out back to watch me. I think he still looked up to me at that point. Anyway, I placed the board down and stepped on it to go zooming away. My great sense of balance kicked in and nearly fell. After a few more tries, I could stand on the board. Then I decided to go fast. Placing my foot firmly on the board, I pushed off hard. Off the board went at a zippy clip. I on the other hand was a few feet in the air above the board's point of launch. I put my left arm out to break my fall, and snap. I jumped to my feet, and looked down at my forearm of which half was jutting out at a 50 degree angle. Seeing the carnage, Ben immediately began crying. I don't know why but I immediately snapped it back into place. It would turn out I did a really good job of snapping it back. If I hadn't, I would've needed the whole screw and plate ordeal. The one drawback was that my Dad didn't think it was broken. I should've pointed to Ben and said I don't think he'd be crying like that over a sprain. Anyway, It turned out I had completely broken the ulna and there was only a sliver connecting the radius. I felt bad for my Dad as my step-father showed us the X-ray. But how could he have known. With it snapped back it didn't look broken at all.

Call it luck or providence, but I had never broken a bone in my previous 16 years of living. I had bruises, scrapes, burns, and other ailments from living the life of a daredevil, but nothing as serious as a broken bone. After the arm healed, I tried going back to the daredevil life. It didn't take too well. Then after the back surgery I was pretty much done. Now I'm scared to death of heights. I'm struck with paranoia anytime my nieces or nephews go down stairs or near railings. I'm a wimp now, and all because I broke my arm.

It's Now an Epidemic!

Thanks to an entertaining email conversation between me and my siblings another family member has joined the blogging community. Ben K has started a blog. Sure that's big news and reason to go check it out. The breaking into the middle of American Idol news though is that Bulie will be posting as well. Bulie is "a spirited 20-week old fetus with a penchant for swimming and an overly active exercise life." I'm going to take the credit for recommending that Bulie start blogging. As to what I'm hoping we will read from Bulie, I leave you with what I suggested in the email:

"I want the day to day life of Bulie in the womb. 'Mom, this kick is for eating Indian food last night.' 'I'm floating! I'm floating! This is just like 2001.' 'Coldplay...again?' 'Geez it's getting cramped in here.' That's just a sampling of what I'd like to read. Or podcasts from Bulie would be cool too. Just a few ideas I'm tossing out there. "

Ramblings

I apologize for the small gap between posts. I got a new cell phone and I have been distracted with creating ring tones out of my MP3's. It's a very daunting task trying to decide what song fits each person in my contacts. I'm currently debating between "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" and "Copacabana" for MOL Jr. Thanks to the freeware Audacity the actual editing has been pretty easy.

I have also been distracted by the constant barrage of close games that have taken place during March Madness. Of course George Mason sank any chance I had of winning the office pool. I was so close. I just needed UConn to win out. That's all I needed! Alas it was not to be. I was torn between rooting for the underdog and rooting for some extra spending money. Anyway, every time I sat down to write I'd hear the announcers scream about something, and of course I'd grab my Tivo remote to see what happened. Then I'd get sucked into the game and end up watching it till the end. That's excuse No. 2.

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector made a little over $7 mil on its opening weekend. Why and How? Come on people, you must know better. Of course this is coming from the guy who is going to pay money to see Slither. Maybe I should just shut up. I am also really looking forward to Brick which opens in LA and NY this weekend. That should be able to balance out Slither.

Another big weekend is coming up. I have another fantasy baseball draft, but there is something bigger happening this weekend. Wrestlemania! It's the only time I click the "buy now" button on my remote. Usually, it's not worth it even though it is the Super Bowl of wrestling. I will say I'm looking forward to the "Money in the Bank" ladder match. Watching the elderly Findlay and Ric Flair have to climb ladders could be highly entertaining or very frightening.

I've been playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence for the PS2 off and on. I've always been reluctant to pick it up because I'm not a big fan of the stealth games. But with it getting a crap load of great reviews I decided to pick it up used. I'm pretty impressed. There are still times that I just want to stop crawling in the weeds and shoot everything. The story and its characters are weird enough to keep me involved. I really didn't mind spending nearly an hour and a half trying to snipe one of the bosses. Especially since you are able to snipe the guy's parrot if you can find it.

One thing I still marvel at is how more open I am to other foods. Up until grad school I wouldn't think of eating Indian food. Now I can't get enough. I credit both my job and my selection in women. Being as accommodating as I am, I could never say "no" to where they wanted to eat. It kind of forced me into trying new things. Better than looking like a schmuck. I still may not like sushi, but I've tried it.

How long does balsamic vinegar dressing keep? I just realized I have two unopened bottles sitting on the shelf. They've been there almost a year and a half. That's probably not good.

I should probably take down my little Christmas tree too.

The Shield Season Finale

Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! Spoilers! I waited a day to do a post on season finale of The Shield for a couple reasons. First, I wanted to at least give people 24 hours to see it. Second, I needed to watch it for the third time. You see FX always re-airs the episode right after the original airing. Most fans tend to watch the episode again right after. Well, at least Bob and I do. After watching the season finale, I was frustrated all day because I couldn't talk with anyone about it. I had to discuss the genius of that episode and the season as a whole. Eventually, I had the time to call Bob after work. I knew he wouldn't let me down. I often go overboard in proclaiming the greatness of those things I love. Yes, I'm still buzzing on the season finale, but I don't think I'm going overboard.

The Sopranos? Lost? ER? NYPD Blue? 24? Six Feet Under? The Shield is better. The Shield is probably the best drama on TV since Homicide in my opinion. I will admit that Homicide is better. Those first four seasons of Homicide is some of the best television you will ever see. But this post is about the Shield.

Last night finale showed why this show is so good. Everything from the past couple seasons has built up to this point. You see the characters in this Shakespearian tragedy work with and against each other to cause the death of the one true good guy, Curtis "Lemonhead" Lemansky. Was he innocent? No, but he realized his mistakes and was willing to step forward and answer for them. Unfortunately, he never got the chance to clean his conscience. The "good" guys lied, schemed, and made deals with the devil to catch the "bad" guys, the Strike Team. The Strike Team, Lem's family, ended up sacrificing him because not only were they unwilling to answer for what they did, but they didn't trust Lem. How could they not trust Lem? Lem had given up everything to protect them. He was going to jail so they wouldn't have to. He was going to answer for everything he did, but never rat on his family. The problem was that they didn't trust themselves. This fault was most evident in Lem's best friend Shane. Shane, who was once tempted to kill Vic to save his own life. He knew what he would do in Lem's place. He would break. But is that why Shane killed his best friend? Because, he couldn't understand why Lem wouldn't run when the Strike Team had the whole plan worked out? Not in Shane's mind. Shane didn't kill out of hate. Shane saw killing his best friend as mercy and sacrifice. Watching this scene play out you actually see a near mirror "Of Mice and Men." Heck, the previous episode was titled "Of Mice and Lem." Lem was going to die in jail anyway with IAD making a deal to send Lem to the same prison as Antwon Mitchell. Antwon would've killed Lem. Only way out for Lem was to give up the Strike Team. Lem was blind in his pursuit of confession. He thought he could pay his own price, but they were all connected. But did Shane have to take the coward's way out when he killed his best friend? No quick and easy bullet to the head. Shane had to use a hand grenade and run. He couldn't even give his best friend a quick death.

The episode ends with the court culprits standing around the aftermath of their lies and schemes. They all had a hand one way or another in Lem's death. Lem, who worked in Juvie when the Team broke up at the end of season three. Lem, who was always first through the door with the battering ram. Lem, who saved Kavanaugh's life even though his death would've kept him out of jail. Now Lem's dead. It's the first major casualty for the wrongs they committed. Next season is the final season. Next season, everyone pays.

Must Resist...Must Wait...Must Hold Out!

The flood gates have opened and the rumours and news have come pouring in about the upcoming Playstation 3. From the 60 gig HD to the Xbox live like network to a differt controller (thank goodness) all of it has tempted me to throw myself into the same turmoil I experienced when the Xbox 360 came out. Again the Playstation is scheduled for "early" November with a world wide launch. Will I have learned my lesson on the Xbox 360 and wait? Right now the answer seems to be "No."

Maybe I Should Cut Back on the Video Games

I had another one of those crazy dreams last night. Yes, it involved video games. Now it wasn't me trying to escape some blue ghosts while I gobbled yellow pills. I wasn't avoiding barrels while I climbed scaffolding. I also wasn't blasting the Covenant with double SMG's. In fact it really wasn't based on any game at all. Well, maybe Resident Evil, but not really. The only similarity between my dream and RE is that it had zombies in it.

It began with me and a girl (I assume she was my girlfriend. It's my dream.) in the bottom floor of this mall with a pistol in hand. I didn't know why until a zombified security guard stepped out of the shadows of the decrepit mall. After dropping him with a bullet to the head, more and more zombies started creeping out of darkness. I quickly ran out of bullets and dragged my lady past the shoe section. I don't know why I distinctly remember the shoe section. Anyway, I hid my girlfriend. The rest of the dream consisted of me scouring the mall for weapons in an attempt to stay alive. That's what was made it so much like a video game. I would be running through the mall and stumble across a gun and ammo just sitting in the underwear section. There was a revolver, a shotgun, and a machine gun. I should also mention I must have been playing at the highest difficulty level because the number of bullets I would get was very small. The last weapon I found before I woke up was the grenade launcher. Of course the shells for it were on the other side of the mall. A nice touch that I seemed to add to these grenades was that they were on timers. On the back of each shell was a dial to the timer. It resembled one of those cooking timers. So, you'd set the timer and then shoot it into a wall that the zombies were congregating and run before it sent the whole floor crashing on you as well. Before I woke up, things got pretty hairy. I think I got rid of them all.

My point of this dream? I don't know. It means probably one of two things. Either I play too many video games, or I should've gone into developing video games because I can do it in my sleep.

The Early Favorite for Classic Song of 2006

It's only March, and I think I can safely say we already have a champ for Classic Song of 2006. Actually, I might not have the song, but I at least have the band: The Grass Roots. I'm really leaning towards "Temptation Eyes" which kick started the trip down memory lane when the DJ played it at the Twilight Singers show. I'm pretty sure they have the same DJ at all thier LA shows. At least it seems like it because at every show I end up hearing an "I Completely Forgot About That" song. I always leave with at least one song or artist scribbled on a napkin or something for me to download when I get home.

Anyway, I don't see "Temptation Eyes" being over thrown at any point this year. Though there is another Twilight Singers show coming up in the Summer. There are five Grass Roots songs in the player on the right.

Ramblings (TV Edition)

Remember the days when you couldn't wait till September or October because that was when the new show would debut? You would get all excited seeing ads for new shows and teasers of the new season of your favorite show. It hasn't been that way for awhile. Sure, I was anticipating Lost, but that's about it. I guess due to my contract I have to put CSI: Miami in there. But that's really about it. The Shield and 24 don't start till January. Rescue Me is a summer show. This got me thinking. Why can't the new TV season start in January? Clearly the old belief that nobody watches TV during the summer is incorrect. What else comes out during January and February? Nothing. It's a dumping ground for movies. Maybe one or two decent albums are released. TV should take full advantage of this and start shows mid January. I realize with the industry there would be a big hubbub raised about not getting their summers off. My answer is that they can still have the same shooting schedule just don't air them till January. This way we don't have to have extended runs of repeats. Most of the shows will be in the can, and they just have to shuffle them out. 24 should be the production model for TV shows. They start production early and air their shows back to back. No reruns! I realize this wouldn't be possible for all shows. I'm just getting tired of having one new episode a month for shows like Lost. Maybe the best would be to break the year into two seasons?

Anyway, let's catch up with what I'm watching and what you should be watching. For all you Tivo people who wait months till watching the episodes there will be spoilers for the following shows: The Shield, 24, Lost, etc.

The Shield: The season finale is this Tuesday. Usually in a Shield season the second to last episode is the climax in the arc and the last episode deals with the aftermath. It's different this time around. I have no idea what's going to happen. Someone is going to die...I think. Everything is up in the air. Are Kavanaugh and Acevedo finally going to get the Strike Team behind bars? What is Antwon Mitchell up to? Who's the father of Danny's kid? How is the new recruit, Tina, going to screw up and get someone killed? My biggest question is: What's going to happen to Lemonhead? Is he going to die? Is he going to finally rat on the team? Is he going to make it to Mexico? It all leads to at least him not coming back next season. It's a shame because I loved Lemonhead's tortured conscience and his ulcer. Man I love this show.

24: 24 has become TV's Florida Marlins? They've nixed nearly every veteran of the show. President Palmer, Tony and Michelle, and Edgar are all dead. They even killed Rudy! Only Jack and Miss Potato Face are left. Poor Edgar Stiles. His death scene may be one of my favorites in awhile. No screaming and hollering. He just had that "Oh crap!" look on his face, and then he tumbled over. The thing is we are only halfway through the season. What the hell else can happen? Is Jack going to die? I keep thinking they are cleaning house, so they can start over. Maybe they'll make Chloe the next star of 24? Maybe not.

Lost: If they actually aired back to back new episodes maybe I might start caring. I will give them props for at least giving me a little something to think on with Australian chick finding out what happened to her during her abduction.

Sopranos: Wow! What a dump they took with the second episode. To start off with a death/dream sequence and then scrap it halfway through the episode? I imagine the conversation went like this:

Chase: Hey. How far along are you with the episode?
Writer: Um, I'm about 25 pages in. Why?
Chase: It seems we already did a crappy dream episode last season.
Writer: What?
Chase: It's been two years. I can't remember everything.
Writer: What am I supposed to do?
Chase: Just end the dream sequence now and have the family standing around crying and stuff for the rest of the episode. At least the actors can work on their crying.
Writer: Ok.
Chase: Oh! Oh! Oh! Throw in a terrorist subplot!
Writer: But we haven't set-up anything about terrorists.
Chase: Just introduce some new characters out of the blue. Think of the residuals you'll get when they show up the rest of the season.
Writer: Yeah! Hey. With all the crying do you think we can submit this to the Emmys?
Chase: I've already made room on my mantle.

Also, who's the guy that hung himself and why am I supposed to care?

Thief: I have pretty high hopes for this show that replaces the Shield on FX. It has a solid cast headed by acting stud Braugher. It looks slick. If Thief pans out, FX will be the best network on TV. If they can improve Nip/Tuck, or get a better replacement that will be a full year of quality television. Maybe these 12 episode seasons aren't so bad.

Invasion: Nearly having the same problem as Lost. It makes me think this scheduling is ABC trying to milk as much as they can out of these shows. They are screwing the fans over. New episodes of Invasion aren't going to air till May I think. May! Still, I can't wait to see what that crazy dead girl is going to give birth to.

Finally, I was flipping through the channels Saturday night, and suddenly had an 80's flashback. Saturday Night's Main Event was once again on NBC. What is up? Is NBC that desperate to fill their slots? They even went with the same old school logo. How could I not watch it? Oh the times I'd be so thrilled to have wrestling on NBC at night. It was almost like free pay-per-view matches. Almost. Of course, this is all a build up to Wrestlemania which is two weeks away. The matches were basically all stunt matches. I still got a kick out of Shawn Michaels back dropping Shane McMahon from the top of a ladder into a couple tables.

working...working...working...

We're getting there. The banner at the top is probably going to change. I need to balance out the columns. Any other advice?

I'm Taking Credit

My sister in-law has now joined the blogging universe, and you know what I'm taking the credit. I know she saw my brother's blog and became jealous. I know Mandy was actually the first in our family to have a blog. I know Anne Marie's blog might not be called a blog since she doesn't blog. I don't care. I'm taking the credit for my family's recent love of blogging. Why? In case you haven't been able to tell, I'm clearly the coolest sibling. I pretty much determine what is hip and cool for my family. I get a car. Everyone else need to get a car. I go to college. Everyone in my family ends up going to college. I start losing my hair. Everyone else has to start losing their hair. (Except for Ben I. Come one get with it.) That's just the tip of how much of a trailblazer I've been for my family. Anyway. My point is that Jaime now has a blog, and like most of them out there it's better written than mine.

Big Ups to Paula Faris!

A few weeks ago I was helping one of the writers hook up his HD set. On the TV while I was checking the picture was the Olympics. It was some spot about these athletes having a shopping spree in Torino. On the fringe of the picture I thought I kept seeing someone I thought I knew. I even mentioned to the writer that I think I might know that person, but she never came on the screen again. Still, she was a sports broadcaster in Cincinnati. I guess they could've sent her for the Olympics, but NBC and national coverage? Anyway, I forgot about it.

Cut to Monday night, and I'm talking to Eric. During our conversation he mentions he's been staying contact with Paula, who I thought I saw at the Olympics. Turns out it was her on TV. She apparently took a new job as a sports anchor at an NBC affiliate in a top 5 media market. Can you guess what city she's in now? That's right Chicago. Chicago! Sure I'm little bit jealous. It's Chicago! Paula also completely deserves it. As Eric stated, she has always worked her ass off. Ever since I first met her at Cedarville she's always worked hard. It's a few months late, but congratulations Paula. You really do deserve it. Now, can you do something about getting Dusty fired?