Monday, April 03, 2006

Patches, feline. A cat barely alive...

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic cat. Patches will be that man. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster. Well, except for the tail. We can't do shit about the tail

Browsing through my photos last night for a picture of Mandy as a tyke, I came across this photo misprint that I kept. The cat in the one half of the picture is Patches. Over the years, we had many animals pass through the hallowed Kessler halls. We had cats, dogs, a bunny, and the meanest parakeet this side of the Ohio River. You have to figure there's a reason a bird is named Nipper, and it's not a good reason. Back to Patches. I don't remember how we got Patches. We lived on a nice piece of land, so most likely Patches just let herself in the front door.

Patches wasn't the friendliest cat. Though, what she lacked in interspecies skills, she made for by being a bad ass cat. She sassed. She killed for us and left their tiny carcasses on our doorstep like sacrifices. While that not really cute, it was disgustingly endearing. She also climbed really tall ladders. That's where the ladder comes in. At least once a day she would climb that ladder to sleep up in the rafters. Yes, that's pretty tough for a cat. Along with toughness though comes stupidity as well. The stupidity was that she often slept in the fan area. You see where I'm going with this? Yes, one fateful night the fan was turned on with Patches sleeping. The next morning Anne Marie ( I think) found Patches lying at the bottom of the unfinished pool. So, not only did Patches get pureed by the fan, but she basically fell the full length of the ladder plus another six feet into the bottom of the pool.

Patches though would be rebuilt except for the tail. Does anyone know what happened to it. Ok, so she didn't become a bionic cat. It's still pretty amazing that she survived. She did have a slight limp, but she still brought sacrifices to the doorstep. She was still ornery.

1 comment:

Mandy said...

And not only was it a fan, it was an industrial strength vent-y fan. I loved the hole in her ear.