Allow Me To Be An Ass

Things that were confirmed or a little more realized during Labor Day weekend.

If you don't have a "quiet voice," I already don't like you.

If you wear those dark reflective sunglasses, I have already assumed we aren't going to get along.

If you also have one of those goofy strings so you can dangle the sunglasses from your neck...I really...I just don't have the words.

If you have all of the above, please don't talk to me...ever.

Just because there is a musical instrument (guitar, piano) at some one's party, it does not mean you have the right to play it. Nobody cares that you can play. The music you are trying to play over is there for a reason.

When someone says you can invite someone they do not mean ten someones.

Please make sure you understand the conversation that is taking place before interjecting with what you consider is a valid point. Actually, don't interject until you are brought into the conversation. Please. I beg you. I'm old. I get tired of rolling my eyes.

Arguments against colorization and "formatted for your TV" should never ever take place. We as a society are past that. Those that still don't understand will never understand. We just need to accept that.

Just because someone likes the Cubs it doesn't mean we are going to be best buds. In fact I'm pretty sure I dislike half of the Cubs fans out there.

Really, do you not hear how loud you are? Do you have a hearing problem? Have you actually gone through life never having to whisper or lower your voice? Have you never been to a library? You completely baffle me.

OK, I feel better now.