Ramblings

This is what happens when I read: nothing. I don't play video games. I don't blog. Nothing. A book tends to take over my life when I read it. I honestly considered calling in sick today so I could finish the book. This is one of the reasons I don't read books often. The other is that I read so much during work that I get a little exhausted putting letters together to form words which then form sentences. Anyway, I highly recommend The Boy Detective Fails by Joe Meno. It's a little mix of Encyclopedia Brown, Royal Tenenbaums, and Eternal Sunshine. It even has a cutout decoder so you can help the boy detective.

I wish some people at work would realize there is a difference between fear and respect when it comes to how you treat someone.

Speaking of work, I'm often asked what my educational background is that prepared me to be a researcher for TV. Here's what you need to do: Barely pass high school chemistry, study up to Algebra II in high school and no higher, get a D in Biology at the college of your choice, and take basic Algebra at the same college. If you can somehow manage all that, you too can research such things as atomic absorption spectrology of tannins in leather. Clearly, I've been bluffing my way through three years on this job.

My fantasy baseball team's lead has dropped from 20 to 6.5. I hope I pull a '05 White Sox and not a '69 Cubs.

On the other hand, the Cubs are currently 58-88. They have to lose 12 of the last 16 games to reach 100 losses. It's completely possible the Cubs could pull that off. I'm almost hoping they do. The Cubs committed 6 errors last night and were down 7 runs and still won the game. That clearly wasted any good karma the Cubs had left this season.

I have been slightly tempted by the 8GB Nano.

I'm very hesitantly excited about the movie "The Black Dahlia." It's adapted from a James Ellroy novel that is definitely in my Top Ten all time favorite books. Ellroy is also in my Top Five of authors. It has a solid cast. I don't even mind Josh Hartnett because he kind of fits the character he plays. Visually it looks good. Then you get to the director, De Palma. When the commercials advertise that this movie is from the director that brought you "Scarface," that's not a good sign. That movie is 23 years old, and you haven't done anything else of note? Please don't suck. Please don't suck.

Who knew Star Wars and Legos would make such an enjoyable video game?

Is it completely absurd that I've seriously considered hiring a maid to clean my studio apartment once a month? Yes, I believe it is.

It turns out the HBO documentary on the Cubs woes is going to be narrated by Dennis Farina. That is so much better than the Red Sox doc being narrated by Ben Affleck, isn't it? Come on! Crime Story, Midnight Run, Out of Sight, etc. The guy was even a real Chicago cop before he became an actor.

It's recently come to my attention that I have cornered the market on slightly inebriated and desperate women in their mid-thirties. One other stipulation is that it must be the first time we've met. From college on the women the meet that criteria have been drawn to me much like a moth to a flame. Unfortunately, they are usually sober the second time I meet them.

A little over fifteen years ago, I once sneezed, belched, and passed gas at the exact same time. It's the most harrowing experience in my life. I'm amazed to this day that I'm still alive.

This seems like a good time to stop.