Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Doctor! Doctor!

For the past couple months I've been in and out of doctors' and dentist offices taking advantage of finally getting health insurance. That's what it's there for right? Everything has been checking out fine, but I knew my back was going to eventually be a problem. Years after my back surgery in high school, my Mom happened to mention that I was supposed to go in for a second surgery to correct my back some more. That second surgery never ended up happening because she thought I wouldn't be able to handle another surgery. Now, fast forward nearly twenty years to the present. I thought I could get by and not think about it, but decided to see an orthopod just to make sure nothing was wrong with the rods. Sure enough, he wanted me to see a spinal specialist. That is what I did today. I went to apparently the top spinal specialist on the west coast. It should be noted that every doctor finds my condition fascinating. Every X-ray results with two or three extra doctors brought in to "ooh" and "aah." Also, the doctors and nurses and office help out here are really concerned about decency. Back in Ohio and such it was always here's a paper gown now go parade around. Out here they offer a second gown to put on backwards, and are always concerned about me being embarrassed. The problem is I've spent years in Ohio hospitals parading around in blue paper and my underwear. The number of strangers that have seen me in hospitals in my underwear has to be nearing a thousand. I've gone past the point of feeling the need for decency in a hospital or doctor's office. This has led to me keep saying I'm fine I don't need a third hospital gown, but them forcing it upon me despite my pleas. I did ask if I could wear my hat to the x-ray room though. Anyway, I have flatback which is what the previous second surgery was supposed to correct, and I still have some curvature at the base of my spine. With the advancements in medicine in the past twenty years they can make my spine as straight as an arrow. They will basically make my spine look like the Terminator's. So, do I do it? I probably should eventually, even though it would mean at least six weeks till I could return to work, and all that misery at an age when I'm on the decline. There's also the benefit that it will force me to quit smoking. But can I afford basically two months off work? Nope. Will my insurance even cover most of it? Considering back then the surgery cost around $18,000, and my yearly max is $10,000, I'm guessing it might cover a third of it. I've determined I need to sell a script, which will put me in the guild, which will give me better health insurance. I also think I need a girlfriend to care of me those two months I'll be holed up in my hospital. That or a really attractive home nurse. The home nurse could be also attracted to bed ridden men. So it seems I'm at least a year off. At least I get to have it nagging around now in the back of my mind for a couple years.


bob said...

i'll take care of you

thefamousgrouse said...

Doesn't your work have at least temporary disability coverage for while you recuperate? I think you should do it. Think about it - straight-backed Brad - you'd be like 8 feet tall!

bobby said...

Can they also make it so you don't look down on me anymore?