American Idol Recap (It's Neil F'n Diamond Night Edition)

First of all, I'm blogging through the pain tonight. I've been battling a nasty cold these past few days. It's Neil Diamond night, so I will fight through it. For you Neil! I'm pretty sure all the other nights will pale in comparison. I haven't been this exited since Emily Proctor danced dirty with me on the dance floor. Wait that was just this Saturday. Let's just say I'm excited.

So The Ringer got da boot and we are left with the top 5. This means they will each be singing two songs. How many of the top 5 knew Neil Diamond before this week?

Stoner will be singing Forever in Blue Jeans for his first song. I think this night will be a good one for Stoner. As in Stoner tradition it was rather boring. The judges will not be tearing them apart till after their second song. They've changed up the format, so the judges will give their opinion at the end of the show.

Talk Box is up next, and starts off in the Coke hot seat. This should be a good night for him too. His two song choices are I'm Alive and All I Need Is You. Two not so familiar songs, which could work in his favor. It was little blah. This two songs for each contestant seems a little ridiculous. They are left performing what seems like a minute of the song. Why not just give them an extra minute on one song rather than breaking it up. This show feels like it's gone wheels off, and is barreling toward Simon's chest hair.

Brooke will be doing I'm a Believer. Oh dear lord, her I'm a Believer is awful. I regret everything I said positive about her. This is so frightening. What are those pants she is wearing? She is clearly becoming more and more crazy each week. She's acting like Alex P. Keaton in that very special episode of Family Ties. For those too young to remember, it was about the dangers of taking speed.

Teen Beat will be doing Sweet Caroline. Can he make me dislike him anymore? Yes, he can. He's completely turned this into some crappy 80's cover song. Of course all the girls named Caroline just passed out. And we are speeding through this show. Nobody is allowed to take a breath.

Syesha picked Hello Again and Thank the Lord for the Nighttime. Two good choices for her. She did well with Hello, Again even if it was a little Whitney.

Wow. So they gave the judges a little time to give a quick judgment and Paula just went on and on about Stoner's second song. Um nobody has performed their second song. Everyone was just as lost as she was. Simon was right they were all mediocre except for Brooke which was a train wreck.

Jason sings his second song, September Morn, and is just as boring as his first song. Anne thinks it's a bad arrangement. I agree. A lot of the arrangements have been off. They shouldn't polish up these songs. Randy wasn't a fan of either performances. Paula thought he was too safe. Simon called them forgettable. He speaks the truth.

Talk Box is doing his normal modern rock shlock. He's made All I Need Is You sound like a Journey song. It was ok. Anne says "At least he thought about the arrangement." Randy liked the second performance. Paula agrees. She thinks she is already looking at this years American Idol. I hope she's right. Simon thought the first song was ok, but thought the second song was brilliant. I wouldn't exactly call it brilliant.

Goody Two Shoes is clearly slowly losing her mind. Her second song is I Am...I Said. Neil's songs work so well stripped down. Why are they fluffing them up? Randy liked the second song, but not so much the first. Paula thought she showed her vulnerability on the second song. Simon hated the first song, which we all did. Who could've liked the first song. Simon liked the second song. Brooke's talking to everyone like they are deaf. I'm hoping for a PSA at the end of this show from Brooke.

I'm so sick of Teen Beat. It's this 80's grime that he covers everything with. Adding to the awful is the American flag on the screen behind him. How do the judges keep going for this shit? Randy and Paula both loved it. How? Simon credits him for pulling a Kristy Lee Cook. Simon liked it too. Are they under some mind control when he performs? Is the FBI involved?

Syesha closes us out tonight. Nice. She turned this into a doo wopish number. I liked that. Randy liked it. Paula liked both songs. Simon call this the strangest show they have ever done. Simon thinks she might be in trouble tonight. She is in trouble, but it's not because of her performance. It's because the fans don't like her.

Well, that was quick. We all know Syesha is going home tomorrow. This show left me with a bad taste in my mouth. The two song choice was a moronic choice. It all seemed rushed. Way to ruin the one night I was looking forward to the most. I wish they could have brought back Chikezie to sing "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show." That would've been awesome.

Top Two:
Anne: Syesha and David
Ben H: Syesha and David
Me: Syesha and Talk Box

Worst:
Anne: Brooke
Ben H. Brooke
Me: Teen Beat.

I know what will clear my head of this American Idol mess:

Okay!

Who knew the lines "I have a date" would stir up such a hullabaloo? I'm afraid this is going to turn into the current Suns vs. Spurs (San Antonio not Tottenham) series: so much hype but little payoff.

First, let's begin with how I got there on a Friday night. One of the things my therapist and I have been working on is getting me outside my comfort zone, and to put myself out there. Basically it's Adventures of Independent Bradford (TM Mandy). One of these things that I decided to do was to actually give one of those dating websites a try. Now you early adopter(s) of the blog might remember this post. This was back when I actually put effort into my posts. Look at those six internal links! Six! Anyway, eHarmony found a solution to finding no matches for me in LA. They look for matches outside of LA, way outside of matches. Sifting through the matches from AZ, Canada, Colorado, and so on, I did find a match from the OC. At least it wouldn't require me having to buy a plane ticket. She is very cute. A little bit of a grown up Winnie Cooper thing going on. Works non-profit. etc.

So, I went through the guided communication hoops. You send a first round of multiple choice questions, which is completely worthless. Then you send and answer a round of short answer questions. Then there is e-mailing back and forth, which led to a few phone calls, which led to meeting in person, which led to my first "date" in 3 and a half years. That seems to fit into my lifetime average.

That leads us up to Friday night. It didn't start off perfectly well because I got a little lost going behind the "Orange Curtain." I do know where Medieval Times is now. We met over coffee/tea. She actually looked better in person than in her profile pictures. We talked for about an hour, and then went and had some Korean food at restaurant she always wanted to try. The whole evening was fun with some entertaining conversation. At the end though, I just didn't get a vibe from her that she was all that interested. I will admit I wasn't able to bring my A game. It was really only about a solid B. Perhaps, I was more follicly challenged than she anticipated. Overall, it was still a nice evening, and it was a new adventure.

I am though reminded of that semi-painful movie Elizabethtown. I think we did peak while talking on the phone.

Ramblings (At Least It's Not An American Idol Post Edition)

I'm know I'm going to be kicking myself for saying this, but the Cubs are looking good. So good that I find myself surprised when they lose. I don't know what to do with myself. I think it's all about Fukudome!

We are just 4 days away from the release of Grand Theft Auto IV. The game that everyone loves to hate. I can't wait. I might call in sick Tuesday, or at least go home early.

Stuff I'm listening to:

The Night Marchers new album See You In Magic that came out Tuesday. The Night Marchers are the new group led by Speedo of Rocket from the Crypt and Hot Snakes fame. It's exactly the kind of album you would expect: Rock n' Roll!

The Muslims self-titled album. Oddly enough they are the opening act for The Night Marchers. They fit in the Modern Lovers/Velvet Underground vein.

I've been playing the hell out of The Sweet Serenades song "First Taste of Trouble."

There has been a rash of Blank and Blank groups appearing on my Zune. Plants and Animals ("Bye Bye Bye" being my favorite cut), Pete and the Pirates (just get this whole album), Apes and Androids, Snake and Jets.

Finally, The Wet Secrets have come up with my favorite song title of the year so far: Grow Your Own F***ing Moustache, Asshole. The song is actually very good.


We are reaching the end of the season here on CSI: Miami. All the episodes have been written, and now there is only the task of shooting them and editing. Thankfully, that doesn't require anything from me. I will say that our season finale is pretty huge. In fact, for the first time ever, I am probably going to suggest everyone watch it. Even if you hate the show, I'm pretty sure you will enjoy it.

I have a date tonight. I guess that's news.

The CSI: Miami wrap party is Saturday. That could become news.

I'm still playing Rock Band about twice a week, and I still get blisters from drumming. Is my skin that baby soft and delicate? I know I've gone on and one about this, but Harmonix who made this game have really done a fantastic job keeping this game in my 360. The current count for downloadable songs is at 94. They just now begining to roll out their full albums. The Pixies Doolittle is coming out in the next couple monts. The thing is I've had this game since November and I still play it every week. Most games last a couple months at most in my Xbox. It's really something I guess that you have to experience to see just how perfectly it hits that "pure fun" mark.

Ben I. do you ever wonder what would've happened to us, if we stayed at Bob Jones?

American Idol Recap

Andrew Loyd Webber night! chirp chirp chirp. Talk about a clunker night.

David Duchovny in the audience. Happy Earth Day apparently. We are down to six, after the world crisis was finally averted with Kristy Lee Cook finally booted. I'm sure I'm not the only one that finds Mr. Weber scary as hell. The judges say this will be the toughest night of the season. Paula threw out a slightly negative comment.

Syesha starts us off with "One Rock n Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express. Weber thinks she could well bring the house down. I don't know these songs. Anne says it was the wrong song choice. Ben H. predicts that the judges will like it. As Ben predicted Randy loved it. Ditto Paula. Simon liked it too. They all thought it was one of her better performances. I have new clue.

Stoner follows the break in the Coke Hot Seat. Oh good grief. We all knew it was coming but who saw that it was coming from Stoner. Yes, he's singing "Memories." Ben H. thinks it's sooo bad. Anne doesn't think it's so bad. I don't care. Do we ever have to hear this song again? Randy thought it was a train wreck. Paula makes it known to us that Stoner is not a woman. Simon didn't like it either. It did come across like his mother forced him to sing it. I would vote him off just for picking that song.

Courtney Cox is there too. Kind of a big celeb night on Idol.

Goody Two Shoes with "You Must Love Me" from Evita. Mr. Webber keeps touching her. Wow! She blew it! She had them to start over. Wow! She's awful. This is going to be a train wreck of a night. Nobody can do these songs. We all agree her performance is horrendous. There's no way they can like this. Randy thought she emoted well. Paula says she shouldn't have stopped and started. This is her second time on this season screwing up. Simon didn't tear her a new one. Simon says he would have done the same thing. Paula's feeling guilty about criticizing her. Bottom line, she was awful.

Next we have Teen Beat. Anne predicts he will sing "Music of the Night." He too is on the Coke Hot Seat. Seacrest is encouraging little girls to molest him. Sorry Anne, he's singing "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera. Weber's advice is to keep your eyes open. Thanks Andy. As Anne said, this is exactly what the judges are looking for. Ben H. likes it with conditions. Surprise, they all loved it. Paula calls it perfect. Anne says it's not that difficult to add a pop beat to these songs. Simon thought it was forgettable. Thank you Simon.

Here comes The Ringer. This has to be in her wheelhouse. Not liking her first choice, Weber is convincing her to do "Jesus Christ Superstar." I will admit I like this song. Anne liked it. Ben H. is kinda indifferent. Randy liked it. The outfit does work. Simon thinks it was one of his favorites this week. She was one of the better ones.

Talk Box is doing "Music of the Night," from Phantom. Andy convinces David to sing to him passionately. *cough* Why didn't he find something to rock out to? This is boring yet still good. Anne and Ben both think he is a good singer. He is hitting the notes. I still find this all boring. Anne says its very good. He always has control over his voice and is deliberate. Randy thought it was amazing. Paula says this proved he was well rounded. Anne thought it was fantastic. Simon thought he made the most of it.

Top Two-
Ben H: David Cook, Syesha
Anne: David Cook, Syesha
Me: David Cook, Syesha.

Worst:
Ben H: Brooke
Anne: Brooke
Me: Goody Two Shoes

It looks like we all agree. When the hell is Neil Diamond night? I've hit my wall during this season which is a little earlier than last season. Must keep going. Must keep going. At least till Neil Diamond night.

American Idol Recap (The Shocking Edition)

Why is this edition so shocking? Well, Tiny Dancer was shockingly eliminated last week. The American Idol world was bewildered by his elimination. I imagine he's probably clicking his heels knowing he's probably set. There are only 7 left. What does that mean? that means the show will now fly by.

Tonight we have another mentor. It's Mariah Carey Night! Let the craziness begin.

Kicking off the show is Teen Beat with "When You Believe" from Prince of Egypt. Anne Marie has indicated she loves this song. All sorts of sap including Teen Beat wearing ridiculous pleather pants. We are up to three eye rolls already from Anne Marie. Anne Marie, Ben H. and I are bored. The judges all loved it and are bowing down at the robotic domination that is Teen Beat. Why do we see how average he is, but nobody else does. Even his emoting comes across like a Disneyland animatronic.

After the break we have The Ringer in the Coke hot seat. She talks about how shocked she was that Tiny Dancer got the boot and how funny he was. She will sing "Without You." She was smart to pick a song that Mariah Carey covered. Anne Marie the song was originally done by Badfinger. The Ringer did well, and this was the best she has looked in the whole conversation. OK Simon is just tearing her apart for no reason when she hit more notes than Teen Beat.

Syesha is up next. I've begun to feel guilty with the Bitch nickname, so I'm ditching it. She takes enough unneeded criticism from the judges. I don't need to add to it. I've actually begun to feel sorry for her. Her song choice will be "Vanishing." It seems Mariah actually helped her. Like the last two weeks she did well. Of course the judges will be harsh. Paula's going off on one of her pointless tangents. Simon liked it. But he thinks she picked an unfamiliar song which will hurt her.

Here's where crazy meets crazy in Goody Two Shoes meeting Mariah. She will be singing "Hero." She's going back to the piano thing. Man I miss Chikezie. Anne thinks Simon will love it. The bridge threw Randy but thought it was pretty good. Paula blah blah blah. Ooh she made a good point of her speeding it up. Which Goody did. She did rush after the bridge, and you could see her shaking. Simon thought the middle part was missed. Then there was a debate about meat and buns. Don't ask.

Headlights follows with "Forever." Wow this is going to be awful. Mariah you can't be serious about loving her version better. Wow this is awful. It should be pointed out that all the ladies brought out the cleavage tonight. Thankfully David Cook did not. How could Tiny Dancer be gone and not her? Really America? Randy thought she started steppin' up. Paula is blown away. Simon thought she managed well. But we all know there is no reason she should be on that stage.

Aw look it's Short Round. Talk Box will be doing "Always Be My Baby." Will he pull off another "Hello?" Mariah said it sounded haunting. I don't know if haunting does well on American Idol. So he changed it up because he had to and he did well. Randy stands up for it being the most brilliant performance this season. Simon loved it and thought it stood out. He's getting a little emotional. This has to put him close on the heels of Teen Beat. Is he my favorite? No, but he has been creatively consistent nearly each week. And he has been different enough to really stand out.

Stoner is up with "I Don't Wanna Cry." Ok, I give Mariah credit for actually mentoring the contestants. She's actually giving them worthwhile tips. Stoner's was the same performance he's given every week. It was boring. Randy didn't love it. Paula loved it of course. Simon, surprise, actually liked it. He thinks the guys have completely won tonight.

And just like that we are finished. It goes by so quickly now. Mariah was surprisingly good as a mentor. Please send Headlights home America.

Silverlake Top Three or Two
Anne Marie: David Cook, Syesha, Carly
Ben H: David Cook, Syesha
Me: Syesha, Talk Box

Another What Might Have Been Moment

It was 10 pm on Friday night, and I was putting my cell phone in my man purse. I was on my way to go see The Bank Job at the theater across the street from work. The Bank Job was playing at 10:20 pm. I was all set to go see a solid bank heist movie. Then I wasn't set. I decided to stay home and work on my spec script like all diligent wannabe writers should do. After writing for a few hours and eating a box of Cheez-its, I checked the news. There under the El Segundo section of my Google News was a story. Apparently, at 10:15 pm there was a shoot-out between two police officers and a young man. It left the young man dead and the two officers wounded. Where did this all take place? You guessed it. Cue the X-files theme music.

Two Points From Bragging Rights

Sometimes close has to sort of count right? So the NCAA Final Four has come to an end with Kansas beating Memphis 75 to 68. In my bracket I correctly had Kansas winning only I had them beating UCLA because I thought Memphis' poor free throw shooting would've caught up with them sooner. I did though have the score listed as Kansas winning 76-69...so close-except for the fact that I also didn't have Memphis.

American Idol Recap (Silverlake Edition)

You might be wondering what Silverlake has to do with American Idol. Well, that's because I'm in Silverlake with Anne Marie and Ben H. for American Idol night. So, I will be including their impressions as well. Tonight is "Inspirational Night" which means tonight will most likely blow. This night doesn't even matter because tomorrow night is Idol Gives Back Night, which means that nobody is going to be sent home. So let's try to get his pointless night over with quickly.

Kicking of the night Tiny Dancer will be singing "Dream On." That's right somebody is associating Aerosmith with inspirational. He does pretty well.

Anne Marie correctly indicates that Paula looks like she's judging tonight in the nude. Which I'm really surprised hasn't happened. Randy wasn't completely impressed. Paula wants her Chiuauas to join him onstage. I think that means she liked it. Simon liked it, but thinks it was an impersonation. Ben and Anne Marie agree. Seacrest asks Tiny Dancer what the message he wanted the audience to get with that song? Um. Dream On? That might just be a guess on my part. Tiny Dancer confirms what I thought only with a lot more words.

The Bitch is in the Coke hot seat, and mentions that she and Short Round were good riends, and that she misses her. She also says she spoke with Short Round and apparently somebody is working Short Round really hard. Who is this somebody, and shouldn't this be investigated? "I Believe" is her song choice. Anne Marie liked it. Randy thought it was ok. I don't know what they are looking for. Paula liked it a lot. Simon thought she sang it well, but thought it lacked a "big wave of emotion." I think we can all agree that they have been irrationally critical of Syesha. It's like they refuse to compliment her fully.

Stoner is singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." He's doing this with a ukelele! Anne Marie says get him off the stage. Ben H likes it. Randy loved it. Paula did too. Simon thought it was fantastic. I thought for sure Simon was going to hate the ukelele. Oh well.

Headlights sings McBride's "Do It Anyway." Randy liked it but it was of course pitchy. That's because she can't sing. Of course this doesn't matter because Simon liked it too. Anne Marie thought it was really bad. I thought it was the best she has sounded, but that's still not good. Why doesn't Headlights get off scott free on criticism, but Syesha can't catch a break. Oh, I forgot Syesha is black.

The favorite of everyone who doesn't love Teen Beat, Talk Box, is singing "Innocent" from Our Lady Peace. Wow, he mumbled through the performance, and that "Give Back" written on his hand was eye rolling. Randy didn't love it. Paula loves it because she loves everything. Simon didn't think it was as good as the previous weeks. In case we didn't see Talk Box's giant hand in front of the camera, Paula points out what Talk Box wrote on his hand. The highlight of the night is his shrug and smirk when Paula points it out. It even got the Tivo rewind treatment just to see it again.

Anne is so over The Ringer who just compared American Idol to Live Aid. Um, that's really not even close. Isn't that the one big musical event of the 80's? Oh she's doing "The Show Must Go On" by Queen. Yeeouch! She's murdering this. Anne says it's very Celine Dioney. We all agree. Simon agrees. We all agree. Let's move on. Oh Simon says she is in trouble.

Teen Beat plus Inspirational Night equals pain in my ass. He said he had a difficult time picking this song. We all know he mean his Dad had a difficult time. His Dad chose "Angels" by Robbie Williams. It took Anne Marie and I the whole performance to come up with Robbie Williams. I wish sang Aerosmith's "Angel." What if one night Teen Beat completely changes it around and does some raunchy song. I'd completely vote for him then. If he ended it with giving the finger to his father, It would be the all time Idol performance. Anyway, none of this happened. Randy loved of it. Paula agreed. Simon thought it was best song choice of the night, but not his best vocal. The girls scream. I gag.

Coming up next it's my favorite and Anne Marie's least favorite...Goody Two Shoes! I suggest you see how Anne Marie reacts when she hears Goody sing. She really doesn't like her. She will be singing "You've Got a Friend." That was boring. Randy gave his middling I don't hate you review. Simon thought it was nice and pleasant. Just so you know that means it was boring.

And just like that it's over. Quick and semi-painless.

Here is our Top 3 for the night:

Anne: Syesha, Jason, Michael Johns
Ben H: Jason, Syesha, Archuleta.
Brad: The Bitch, Stoner, Tiny Dancer

Now I have to get watch what really matters tonight...Geek Makeover on Beauty and the Geek.

One of the Bad Things About LA

Last night I drove all the way into Hollywood to see the Gutter Twins at the Avalon. The band sounded great. Dulli roared and Lanegan growled. From "God's Children" to "Live With Me" to "St. James Infirmary" the band rolled along not missing a beat. They closed the set with one of my new favorite songs, "Front Street." Dulli commanded the stage like he always does. He said goodnight. So far a wonderful night of rock and roll. Then the house lights came up. That's right...no encore. I was a little bummed and felt a little stupid standing there clapping and cheering for an encore. Then I got over it because I knew why there was no encore. The audience was awful. Even by LA standards it was an awful audience, and I'm not one of those people who thinks encores should be standard. Were there people screaming their heads off, clapping and dancing? There were but they only accounted for about a fifth of the audience. So, yes those us got screwed out of an encore. I consider it like being Kevin Garnett on all those years on an awful Timberwolves team. You can put as much heart and soul into it, but sometimes it's those around you that keep you from making the playoffs. After blasting through Idle Hands and seeing mostly blank stares, I started thinking that we wouldn't get an encore. Maybe it was the rainy night, but I've better crowds on worse nights. Maybe it was the Avalon, but a year ago it was one of the best crowds I've seen at the same venue. So, I don't know what it is, but I am getting a little tired of it. LA crowds on the whole tend to act too cool for school. Maybe I need to start seeing concerts in other states.

American Idol Recap

Are you like me kids? Are you still dealing with the loss of Chikezie? I certainly am. There is nothing I'm looking forward to now. Sigh. Is there nothing that could reinvigorate my interest in this show? The only thing I could think of is if some blond bombshell legend of country music would show up to mentor these young hopefuls. Wait? You say it's Dolly Parton night? I'm in. I would like to predict now that The Bitch's song choice will be "I Will Always Love You," and it will be the Whitney Houston version, and the judges will not like it because no contestant should ever do a Whitney Houston song. I'm surprised they haven't learned this yet. Whitney is always a bad choice. Also, I would like to think that Chikezie would sing "9 to 5" and bring down the house. You know he would. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Talk Box did some emo version of it. Anyway, on with the show.

Oh Seacrest you almost got me with your April Fools joke. Can we be done with April Fools? Does anyone fall for it anymore. Vanna White in the audience. Introductions are made, and the standard "You Kids Don't Know This But Music Has Been Made For Years Before You Were Even Born" video montage introducing us to Dolly Parton. What's the over under on how many contestants will mention that they aren't familiar with Dolly Parton's music? I think the Vegas odds are at 5. I'd go under with 4. Dolly is so sweet.

Brooke White kicks off Dolly night. Can a room contain the sweetness of these two women? She will be doing Jolene. Quote of the night from Brooke: Dolly Parton you know...she is a tiny person but she's huge!" Yes, Brooke we can all see that clearly. Oh you mean "huge" as in a legend. My bad. Jolene is so strongly in Brooke's wheelhouse that I wonder if the judges will knock her for it. I liked her performance nothing spectacular. Randy thought it was alright. Ugh. Brooke just complemented Paula on her hair. Really Brooke? You don't need to do that. I feel dirty now. Simon didn't like it much, but his criticism is about how the band looked? Again, we need new judges. I think she should have worn the outfit you wore to perform for Dolly. I haven't been a fan of Brooke's last few performance outfits.

So is Talk Box the new favorite? I know Teen Beat has his large creepy teen girl/grandmother fan base, but I have to think those outside that cult have be leaning toward Talk Box. He will be performing his own arrangement of "Little Sparrow." To repeat he will not be doing a cover of a cover song. Dolly likes him, but I think she will be liking everyone tonight. Randy gives it a "hot." Paula likes his haircut. Simon doesn't think it's as good as last week, but good. Simon has something against songs about birds.

Short Round is up. Dolly thinks she's adorable. Who is dressing Short Round? This is another mediocre performance and another awful outfit. Oh she's singing "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind." Randy thought it was aiight. Paula really liked it. Simon calls it forgettable. Which it is.

In the coke hot seat, is Stoner. Seacrest is showing fan mail that is all from the same girl. Yeah, this bit is going to go well. Seacrest reads one of them which comes across as slightly innocent slightly crazy. It goes along the lines of Stoner's voice being relaxing, and she listens to him to relax. Which is good because it's tough work building a life size model of Stoner out of road kill. He will be doing "Travellin' Through," which Dolly thinks is little outside of his box. If it involves him just sitting there strumming a guitar it's not out of his box. Ok, so he's standing and not sitting. It has a nice vibe to it. Randy thinks it's pretty good. I didn't think his voice sounded as good. I don't think it was as bad as Simon is claiming it to be. I really wonder what he was listening to.

The Ringer will be singing "Here You Come Again." Dolly thinks she killed it. It seems right down Ringer's alley. I guess I should point out it's been basically an acoustic night. The Ringer's performance is right on par with what is expected. Randy think it will be one of the better performances tonight. Again Simon goes along the good but not great line. Simon throws out that he thinks she needs someone to dress better. Which is true, but ouch. Why doesn't he say it to Short Round too? Does he think The Ringer can handle the criticism?

I'm not completely familiar with the lyrics of "Smoky Mountain Memories," but I'm sure they must have to deal with the awful state the world is in and how we need to help each other. Why do I think that? Because that's the song Teen Beat chosen for tonight. I'm tired of this kid/robot. Dolly quivered a little listening to Teen Beat sing. Again another slow song. I want range in my performers, and this kid doesn't have it. I wonder if Simon simply has a problem with all the Jesus being sung in the songs? Randy calls it performance of the night. Paula loved it. Simon did too. Get over him people.

This might be Headlights night. She is country. Her song selection is "The Coat of Many Colors." This is her night right? She has to knock it out! Simon's going to hate this song. Eh. Randy liked it. Paula thinks it's her best performance. Simon thinks it's pleasant but forgettable. I'm with Simon.

After the break The Bitch will be singing...Yes!..."I Will Always Love You." So predictable. Heaven's forbid you actually sing a country song. Oooh she's sitting on the piano. Dolly claims that The Bitch's version is more a combination of the Whitney version and Dolly's versions. The arrangement is a little off to me. She can sing well. Randy thinks she did aiight. He still can't hear anyone else sing that song but Whitney. I'm sure Dolly will love to hear that Randy. Paula loved it. Simon liked the first half but wasn't as much a fan of the last half. Again I agree. The two halves didn't mesh well. Who's left to sing? Oh Tiny Dancer. I have no clue what he will be singing. Can't someone do "9 to 5?"

The last song of the night will be "It's All Wrong, But It's All Right." Dolly was his first concert. You can tell he's clearly a true fan. This is I think makes a difference. Ok, he nailed the hell out of that. My favorite performance of the night. Randy loved it. Paula babbles on for ever even though she said it would be quick, and my Tivo cuts out. So I assume Simon must have liked.

So, it was an OK night. No 9 to 5. Tiny Dancer had the performance of the night. I think The Bitch will go home tomorrow night, but she doesn't deserve to. Short Round should probably go home.