So, I'm figuring this is probably going to be the format of the blog. I wanted it to be something a little more concrete than random topics. But as any of my friends will tell you, I'm all random all the time. So enjoy. I'm still working on a new title for the blog. I kind of like the current title. But I think it makes me look like more of an asshole than I really am. Any ideas?
You have 10-1 chance of enjoying this post. Wait. Now it’s 20-1.
I came to the realization that the world would be a better place if we were given odds on everything. In case you haven’t noticed gambling is huge. It has been for the last few years. You can gamble on anything at anytime. But the aspect of odds should be fully implemented into our lives. I think it would help us all make better decisions. The first obvious implementation would be in the drug industry. You know all the commercials where they tell you that there is a chance you could grow a third arm? Why don’t they give you odds? Are my odds 5-1 or 50-1 that I will get a bloody nose and heart arrhythmia? Do I get a 100-1 on the probability of having a 4 hour hard on? This is of course on obvious implementation. But odds could be given in all aspects of life. The uses are limitless. See that attractive girl across the way? Wouldn’t you be more willing to take a chance if you knew there were 6-2 odds that she would like you? This can break down into different tiers as well. You would get odds on: second date, getting laid, marriage, and laughing at your favorite joke. This doesn’t take away the element of surprise. The Butler’s and the Vermont’s of the world still win sometimes. Like they say it’s not about making the safe bet but the smart bet. What concerns me is the criminal element. There is a possibility that it could deter crime. If somebody saw that the odds on robbing a bank were 2-1 that they would spend 20 years in a prison being some sumo size junkie’s bitch, they would think twice. Wouldn’t they? Though I assume that since the criminal element has a gambling streak running through them, they may not care. Also, what happens when someone comes across 3-1 to one odds of getting away with a robbery? 3-1 on getting over $100,000? How do the criminals or desperate walk away from that? I have not fully thought out the implementation of getting odds on everything you do, but I’m leaning towards something along the lines of the Terminator’s where it could ID people and then locate targets within its vision. That way there is no stupid gadget to wear, just a simple implant into the brain, and probably some new kind of eyeball that would show you the odds. Brilliant isn’t it?
Make kids eat their vegetables
A discussion came up at the office on the topic of awful candy. My top five worst candies are:
6. Razzles: It is supposed to be candy and then gum. In reality it’s neither.
5. Root beer candy: I love rootbeer, and that’s not root beer.
4. Jujubes: When I was a kid I got these at the movie theater. They were awful the first time, but I thought that was because they were stale. So, I got a box the next time with the same result. It wasn’t till my third disgusting box that I realized the five hour chew time was intentional. One could easily last you a whole movie so why buy a box?
3. Wax Bottles: Is there anything more disappointing than chewing through tasteless wax in order to drink crappy kool-aid?
2. Good N Plenty: I chose this over all black licorice candy because of its deceptive advertising. Growing up as a kid you know how to avoid the black licorice. It’s black! Black jelly beans being the perfect example. I knew not to eat those. But when Good N Plenty came in their purple and white colors I was suckered into eating black licorice. Bastards! Also, I’m pretty sure black licorice candy wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the Sambuca industry. The only way you could be a Sambuca drinker is if you ate black licorice as a kid. So please stop trying to sell me on Sambuca. I hated it as a kid. I’m going to hate it now.
1. Circus Peanuts: This pale orange marshmallow(?) candy is clearly the worst candy ever made. I know people who actually like the previously mentioned candies, but I know of not one single person who actually enjoys these. On a whole, when you take in consistency, taste, color, odor, and ability to survive nuclear fallout this is easily the worst candy I’ve ever eaten.
This all made me think that if this was all I knew of candy, vegetables weren’t really so bad. Halloween would have sucked. There would be no candy industry, if these products were all we knew of candy. See, these products exist under the assumtion that all candy is good. People wouldn't fall for Good N Plenty if all we knew of candy was black licorice.
It is official: I’m a gadget whore!
I have always had a fascination with electronics. I tried to be the kid that could build his own computer from a shoebox and an old hamster wheel, but I never had a patience for it. I took those Commodore 64 classes during summer when I was a kid. I even tried to program my own Zork adventure on my step-father’s computer. I was unsuccessful because of inability to plan ahead resulting in always getting the program stuck in a loop. I’ve always sat on the cusp of the geek and trendy worlds of electronics. And I will admit have secretly wished I had the geek know how to write programs and fool around with electronics. Again it comes down to patience. Even with my fascination of all things electronic I wasn’t really a gadget whore…till I could afford it. Yes I have an X-box, PS2, digital camera, Pocket PC, 2 MP3 Players, XM Radio, but I was never quick to jump onto the bandwagon. Heck it wasn’t till last Christmas that I got an Xbox. I was never an “early adopter.” That is till now. In case you haven’t heard a new handheld gaming system called the PSP came out last Thursday. And yes I was one of those who waited inline for the store to open to get one. I had planned on getting one. I even pre-ordered one for the second shipment. But patience lost out and I couldn’t wait an extra week. So I waited Thursday morning with my fellow gadget and gaming whores. I became an early adopter of a PSP. Yes it will go down in price as the days wane on, but for once I could afford to be an early adopter, and I am completely enthralled with my PSP. I can’t wait to find myself somewhere outside my house that I’m bored enough to play it.
Speaking of video games
With the horrible months of February and January behind us the month of March has brought us two “Game of the year” contenders. "Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory" you know of if you game. But I picked up "God of War" the other day, and it’s fantastic. First of all, I’m not much of a “story” involved gamer. I’m the guy who is thankful that there is a button to skip the cut scenes, but not with this game. I actually became involved and never thought once about skipping. The combat controls make for easy pick up and play. The learning curve of the game progresses well enough where you constantly feel challenged at some point on each level. There are some fixed camera issues but they are tolerable since if you had control of the camera you would miss out on some of the beautiful graphics this game has. It’s easily the best looking PS2 game made, and the loading times are fantastic too. One word of caution. The game is very, very, very bloody. There are also some strong adult situations involved. As they say in the movies. It’s a hard “M” rating.
Finally…
With less than a week till baseball’s Opening Day, my spankin’ new Sandberg jersey came in the mail. It’s going to take awhile till I get comfortable enough to wear it without the fear of it getting dirty. It is a beautiful sight though. With baseball season so close, I should just let you few readers know that baseball posts will be popping up regularly. If I could warn you when such posts would happen I would. I apologize now for the inconvenience.
