Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Hey Everybody I Wanted To Say I Love You All Just In Case The World Ends Tomorrow or Aliens Take Over

So tomorrow they are apparently turning on something called a Large Hadron Collider. This whole accelerating particles and colliding them is beyond my expertise, though I'm sure I'll to research it for a CSI: Miami epsiode next month. That is if we are still alive by then.

I've seen Buckaroo Banzai and played the Half-Life series. I know what happens when scientists start messing around with particles and collision. Some say we will all die tomorrow because the Large Hadron Collider will create a black hole that will destroy earth and the whole galaxy. Which I guess is kind of likely. But scientists know a bit about black holes, and I think they would know if they are going to create one. Apparently they want to create something called a "God particle." That doesn't scream doomsday does it? Still I'm betting it will create a portal to another dimension through which aliens will access to either enslave us or make us an alternate food source. You see scientists don't know anything about portals to other dimensions. How would they know if they were going to create one or not?

So, be prepared. Make quick friends with that strange neighbor who you know has a bomb shelter and keeps bragging about the guns he's collected. Don't throw out that cheese in the back of your fridge. That mold could be used to create a biological weapon against the alien forces. Heck don't throw out anything with mold on it. I'm currently trying to find someone that owns a boat in case the aliens dissolve in water ala Alien Nation. That's probably our best hope right now. Maybe they can't process oxygen, or they can't handle cold temperatures?

Anyway, in case we end up with a worse case situation tomorrow, I just wanted to say I love you all. Come on! Look at that thing! I don't care what they say. We are soooo doomed.


Anonymous said...


I hear they don't eat vegans, so I'll probably just be a slave to them...or goddess.

Jaime said...

Well I've heard they consider vegans to be salad. Watch your back.

Jiff Divingboard said...

Love it. So far, so good, though...

I heard that it's possible it could make little tiny black holes. I WANT ONE FOR CHRISTMAS!

Anonymous said...

When they mentioned it on the news/morning show this morning, they really hyped up all the teckie stuff then mixed up the video feed and ran the story on the new ipod instead. I thought imagine if all that power was in something the size of the ipod!

...well it probably will be in 6 months.

Jaim: good point, I will be on the look out.

bobby said...

How do we know we haven't already been folded into an alternate universe by this thing? How will we *ever* know? Please tell me now if I have to relive age 13. I need to prepare more this time around.