American Idol Recap (Feels Like The First Time Edition)

Welcome back kids. In case this blog is the only way you keep up with Idol, let me get you up to speed from last week. David Hernandez, the former stripper, got the boot. This means more people liked Headlights butchering of a Beatles' classic than ever thought possible. More than likely more people liked her headlights. Anyway that leaves us with eleven contestants battling for the opportunity to flail away in a pool of mediocrity for an additional fifteen minutes in front of millions of people.

We are back at Idol's new set, which someone defined as "Thunderdomish," which I completely agree with. Only there's a hint of Tronity to it as well. Anyway, Seacrest tells us all that back by popular demand it's Beatles night all over again. I really would like to ask who's popular demand has wrought this upon us? You sure you don't want to save the songs for another season? Two nights in a row of Beatles songs sung by amateurs? Help us all. Oh wait. Last week was Lennon/McCartney night. Tonight is Beatles night. Completely different...

I would like to point out one good thing about the Beatles catalogue being made available. Rock Band! Word is they are most likely going to be in Guitar Hero. That's ridiculous. There aren't exactly a lot of shredding guitar solos in their music. Back to the show.

Cruella is the first one up tonight to sing a song that will sound like every other song he has sung. Her song choice of the night is "Back in the U.S.S.R." That seems about right. How did she get this far in the competition? She can't really sing. She is though comfortable on stage. It is just the same thing week after week, Simon. Thank you for just catching up. I do like her attitude toward this competition. She is honest. Still she's bottom rung on the talent scale.

Headlights is the interview hot seat. Aw, she brought along something for show and tell. That's always a good indicator of where you think you are in this competition. If cleavage isn't helping enough, use props. That sounds dirtier than I planned. Oh, it's a photo album. Yeah, I think we are past cute animal pictures saving you in this competition. The song she will butcher tonight is "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away." I'm already bored with tonight. Not a good sign. Well, at least she was better than last week, but really what could be worst. Simon calls her musical wallpaper. I think he spent all week trying to come up with that. Tell me she didn't plan that "blow you out of your socks" line. Dirty.

The now slightly tarnished Chosen One follows that mess up with "The Long and Winding Road." See, your Chosen One can only do slow songs too. Do the producers tell the crowd to wave their hands. This is boring too. He's been groomed and manufactured for this type of competition, but I think the desire for something different is going to hurt him. The girls still love him though. I mean they are crazy for him. Amazing? Simon? Really? I won't remember that performance. See, last her Bobble Head could do any style at any time. The Chosen One can only do ballads. That will hurt him.

Oooh blatant product placement of an iPhone. The poor girl looks like a deer in headlights. Tiny Dancer is up with his rendition of "A Day in the Life." Talk about a difficult song to piece together. It's so disjointed. Kind of a mess. Simon agrees with me on this. Ok, do we need these dedications? I'm certain his heart is the right place in choosing it in honor of his friend who passed away but it comes across as shady and using it for votes. I thought he was a shoo in to the top four, but he has stunk it up the past few weeks.

Ah, Goody Two Shoes is up in her Big Bird inspired ensemble. Still awfully cute. She will be singing "Here Comes the Sun." Which seems perfect for both her and stoner. Almost predictable. Not as good as last week. She has trouble commanding a stage and just having a microphone up there. It was really flower childish. She's sooo nice she even comes to the defend of the judges. Really? I think she even out nices Bobble Head from last year. Can it all be real?

David Cook is up after the break. He apparently got into a little trouble for using another band's composition of "Elanor Rigby." Seems a little ridiculous. Didn't The Chosen One do Stevie Wonder's version of "We Can Work it Out?" Is it because he said it was Wonder's version? Either way, it wasn't as good as everyone said it was. "Day Tripper" is his song of choice. He somehow found a version Whitesnake did. So I guess you do need to say who's version it is. Oh, did I just gloss over the fact that Whitesnake did a version of "Day Tripper?" Sorry. Whitesnake did a cover of "Day Tripper?" Shouldn't that have been destroyed years ago? Wait Whitesnake was around in the late 70's? That has to be a Spinal Tap like thing right? Hello wikipedia. They were apparently a bluesy rock band before they went all Led Zeppelin glam. Sweet Mother Hubbard he has talk box (ala Peter Frampton's "Do You Feel Like We Do"). This is going to suuuuuck. Ok, so it's not awful, but I'm really just waiting for the talk box! I can't believe he pulled out the talk box. Get to the talk box! Talk Box! Um, he didn't really talk. Maybe he just sucks at it. Still...Talk Box! Simon didn't like it that much. He does think he's becoming a bit of the bees knees. This is the longest paragraph written tonight.
He just got his nickname too. Talk Box!

Here's The Ringer. She will be singing "Blackbird" which is the song Simon and Paula were just bickering about at Seacrest's goading. Seems like forced coincidence to me. Sounds like a show tune version to me. I think Simon is just on a rampage tonight. Are the performances as good as Paula and Randy say? No. Were they as bad as Simon thinks? No. I've said it before. I'll say it again. They need new judges.

Stoner takes the stage to do "Michelle." Another awkward performance because he's on stage without his guitar. Just stand at the microphone if you suck at moving around. It's ok. You can't all be Chikezie. Also, don't pick songs where you have to sing French. Yes Simon! We shouldn't have had Beatles night. Why didn't you do something about it?

The Bitch will follow the commercials with "Yesterday." Which is very Idolish, and very predictable. I'm surprised nobody did it last week. Should be very standard and boring. Looks like she is taking a cue from Headlights and turning hers on. Good grief. She's acting the sadness so hard it's comical. Again, holy cleavage! Paula bought her fake vulnerability. Simon says it's her best performance. Maybe, but I don't believe her.

We finish the night off with Chikezie! Simon drags an old man from the crowd. I think he was just there to play bingo and got lost. That's a bingo card in his pocket right? Chikezie will be singing "I've Just Seen a Face," and he will be playing an instrument he just learned to play this week. Why? Unless you are lying to cover your mediocre playing ability which is probably true. That instrument...harmonica. Oh Chikezie. Ok. What just happened? Unlike Randy, I thought the slower part was going fine until he went country again. And the harmonica? I really don't know what happened. If he had kept it slow it would have been good bordering on quite good. The harmonica was like an e-brake only the car flipped instead of stopped. The problem is he is so charismatic on stage that you almost buy into it.

Apparently I jumped the gun. Short Round will be out last performer. I actually believe that Goody Two Shoes mothers Short Round. She's so cute and adorable. How can you not want to protect her. Tonight she will be singing "I Should Have Known Better." Nice it's an upbeat song. Much more personality this time. Not great, but she showed she can have fun. I will agree with Simon that the contestants have picked odd and not that great of songs. Beatles night was clearly a bad idea. Tonight was basically a mess. Way to go producers for taking too much of a bad thing. At least we had a talk box. Bring on the guest advisers.

I think this is the week Headlights goes home. She still didn't do well enough to get out of the votes basement.

Movies That Suck Sunday IV

photos of Dominic, Tim, and Bradford rocking courtesy of Mr. Robert Hornak

Movies That Suck Sunday The Return

Movies That Suck Sunday IV is on the horizon. I tested out animoto.com to put together a look back at the last three.

Update: I felt the previous video was lacking something, so I "remixed" it as the site likes to call it.

American Idol Recap (Beat-I Mean Lennon and McCartney Night)

Here we go again kids. We are livish. We are finally at our top twelve, so let's begin.

Two big things tonight. First an all new American Idol set and intro. The intro has always needed updating. The set weirdly has the house band up above the stage. It's almost like they are angels. Musical angels trapped playing their harps for whiny wannabes. How much do you think they get per show? They apparently didn't make enough room to for the whole band so they stuck the band leader over in limbo. Oh, the other big thing is that it is Beatles night, or technically Lennon and McCartney night. Why is this big? This means that you will most likely be able to download Beatles songs on iTunes. So all you people who have refused to purchase any Beatles albums so you can eventually download them, your time is now. You are also most likely an idiot or five years old. For those idiots and five year olds we get to see a video introducing the Beatles. So they list a bunch of things that they drew their inspiration from. Drugs is not left off the list.

Randy just said in reference to the Beatles, "These boys put it down." Sigh.

First up is Syesha "The Bitch" Mercado. I'm still not sold on this nickname. It feels so harsh. Anyway, she will be singing "Got to Get You Into My Life." She wisely did the R&B version of the song. She got off on the wrong foot, but brought it around near the middle. Still nothing to write home about. Simon apparently liked it more than the others. She goes a little nuts. Doesn't this eventually start to get on the other two's nerves. It's become the goal now to win Simon's opinion. If you do that you've succeeded. This seems to be a possible problem with the show.

After the break, we begin with my man Chikezie and a little Q&A. How can you not love this guy? His song of choice will be "She's a Woman." I wonder how many of these arrangements are going to be R&Bish? Ooh he took it back further. He started off bluesy and then unfortunately went rock. Still it stands out, and he did rock it. He has charisma by the bucketfuls.

Next it's my other fantasy contestant Ramiele "Short Round" Malubay. I just hope someone helps her dress this time. She will be singing "In My Life." Hmm. Way to take the wind out of the audience after Chikezie's performance. You can't keep doing ballads every show! You're boring us to- Holy crap! Is the whole audience waving their hands like they just don't care? Who in the audience started this? Are you kidding me? Back to the song. Boooring. She needs to step it up. You can't do this after Chikezie's performance. I'm a little furious with Short Round. She has this great big voice, and does nothing with it. Stop being boring.

Jason "Stoner" Castro is up...to sing next. "If I Fell" is what he chose to sing tonight. Maybe his nickname should be Coffee Shop. He needs to spice it up too. Do something other than this acoustic coffee shop shtick. Oh, and the judges might know their music well enough, but me and bunch of other people know you covered Buckley's version of "Hallelujah." Not saying it was wrong, but fess up and don't rely on the judges ignorance.

Carly "The Ringer" Smithson is doing a little Q&A with Seacrest. Her tattoo is a bit distracting. I love girls with tattoo that aren't in the middle of the lower back, but it's just a bit distracting. She will be performing "Come Together" which is what I thought Cruella would pick to sing. I would be thrilled if The Ringer picked this song knowing it's probably the only song Cruella can sing. We need some controversy. Well controversy that actually has to deal with the show. She said she was going to change it up, but I'm not so sure she changed it up enough. The crowd ate it up. Randy says "Stellar!" All three judges loved it. She's good, but did you see that tattoo?

David "TBD but I'm leaning toward something involving emo" Cook is our next performer. Will he be playing guitar once again? How badly is hoping for Weezer night? Does his mother even like his hair? In case you haven't noticed, that collar on his coat is huge! His song is "Elanor Rigby." Apparently no guitar tonight he thinks it would be too much for the song. If guitar would be overkill, why is there crunching guitar in the chorus? Why is he singing like he needs a guitar? Simon calls it brilliant. Brilliant? He emoed the song up. Decent but not brilliant. Brooke "Goody Two Shoes" White is next after the break.

Goody Two Shoes will be singing "Let it Be" which is exactly what I thought she would sing. I know she doesn't have the strongest voice but I love the crack in it. You're right Paula. I have fallen in love with her. You're right Simon. She is believable. I'm no longer scared. I love Brooke White and her scratchy voice.

David Hernandez will be singing "I Saw Her Standing There." I do wonder how him being a former nude stripper at a gay club has gotten him kicked off the show in this post-Timberlake/Janet Super Bowl fiasco. Haven't people been disqualified for less on this show? He says he's going to "work the stage." [Insert Stripper Joke Here] Yeah this isn't so good. We've had numerous out of the American Idol box performances, and this falls into your typical Idol performance. Overdid it? He just stunk. Rabbit in the headlights is actually a correct term. I believe it is the British version of deer in the headlights.

Amanda "Cruella" Overmeyer is in the Q&A seat, and they actually did something with her hair. Did they have to tranquilizer her, so they could do it? She will be howling "You Can't Do That." This is the first time she's ever heard it, which must mean The Ringer took her song, right? It's smart to Elvis the song up. Ok, they just cut to what is labeled as "Amanda's Family and Friend." I'm assuming the friend must be the frightening Blue Brother/Homicidal Maniac wearing the sunglasses. Excuse me sir could you leave? You are scaring the crap out of the audience. She did better than I thought she would do. Nice Paula and Simon have a nasty little spat. She actually seems to be enjoying herself. Apparently there are three more contestants to perform. Really? That many? Ugh.

Michael "Tiny Dancer" Johns is putting his Australian accent to good use. If he wins, who will be more excited? Will it be Georgia where he lived most of his years in the US, or will it be Australia? My guess is Australia. If he wins, he's going back to Australia to celebrate. The same can be said for The Ringer. Are they not allowed to say The Beatles? Do they have to say Lennon and McCartney? They haven't said Beatles all night have they? In fact they have gone out of their way to not say it. Anyway, he will be singing "Across the Universe." Stop waving your damn hands audience or you will lose them. Not fantastic but better than he's been the last couple weeks. Simon can't even remember these contestants names, and doesn't even try to hide it.

Kristy Lee "Headlights" Cook is here to display her assets. She's the "Legs" of last season, only she's accentuating the um...top half? Sorry trying to be somewhat delicate here. She will be changing "Eight Days a Week" into a country song. Can't wait to hear this. Oh...Dear...Lord. None of them can like this crap. I'm not torn Randy. It sucked. Simon calls it "Dolly Parton on Helium." That fits Simon. To clean that out of our ears, we at least have David "Teen Beat" Archuleta to conclude the night. Of course he could make us all want slit our wrists with another depressing song.

"Teen Beat" will be singing "We Can Work it Out." Of course he will be doing the Stevie Wonderish version. Oops. Oops. Oops. That's how many times he forgot the lyrics, at least. He died up there. It was a train wreck. In fact it was one of the worst performances tonight. Is he still The Chosen One?

To wrap up this night, Chikezie and Goody Two Shoes were the top performers in my opinion. Headlights and Teen Beat had the worst performance. Headlights will be going home.

American Idol Season 7 Primer

Here we are kids down to are Final 12. That means it's a return of the American Idol recaps. Before next weeks show I thought I'd catch everyone up who doesn't watch regularly. I'd hate for you to feel left out. That's what my baseball posts are for.

How about I go through who is left in this "singing" competition?

David "Teen Beat" Archuleta - As I stated before, it is pretty much already a lock that this kid is going to win. The teen girls adore him beyond comprehension. All the chinks in his heartthrob armor ( disturbing humility, loves singing depressing songs, may have already peaked in the competition, Mormon) will go unnoticed by these hormone raging teen girls. And we all know they are the ones that vote like it's life and death.

Ramiele "Short Round" Malubay - Typical small girl with a big voice. Nobody seems to know how to dress her. Each night she looks like she's going out to do laundry not sing on a nationally televised show. I don't think she has a great chance because I don't think she can sing anything but power ballads.

Kristy Lee "Headlights" Cook - She barely beat out my girl Asia'h because of two things: her willingness to flaunt cleavage, and she added enough twang to get the country vote. I can't see her lasting more than two weeks. She's awful.

Michael "Tiny Dancer" Johns - My nickname for him makes no sense, but let me explain. I thought he was a front runner early on based on looks, Aussie accent, and decent rocker voice. The problem is every time he performs he goes into his imitation Jim Morrison dance. It's become beyond annoying for me simply because "Tiny Dancer" always starts going through my mind when he performs. Like I said it makes no sense. Also, he lacks personality.

David Hernandez - Maybe his nickname should be "Tiny Dancer" considering the recent controversy surrounding the recent news that he stripped at a gay bar. I still haven't come up with a nickname yet that is blog appropriate. I don't think I will have to worry too long though. He hit his peak with "Papa Was a Rolling Stone."

Amanda "Cruella" Overmeyer - She's simply scary. Yet, you think if she allowed someone to, they could cute her up. Still, she can't sing at all. She acts like she' already done with this whole competition. I'm expecting she won't make it two weeks.

Jason "Stoner" Castro - Everybody likes that one stoner guy they know. He's always friendly and never really has a bad thing to say about anybody. His haze reduced filter leads to enjoyable honesty. Thing is he was never featured ever till the final 24. He doesn't have a strong voice, but knows how to accentuate his strengths. My main dark horse in this competition.

Carly "The Ringer" Smithson - Actually, there are about four or five ringers this year, but she had a music video made for her single from an actual album. That makes her the head ringer in this group. I'm surprised her previously having all that has lead to more fan backlash getting her voted off. She does though have a good voice. She always picks a bad song to sing though.

Syesha "The Bitch" Mercado - She has actually not shown any inclination that she is in fact a bitch. I am simply drawing this conclusion from two things. First, she lists her occupation as actress, and has already referenced it in one of her interviews. If there is one thing I've learned working in Hollywood is that 90% of all actors and actresses are or soon become bitchy. You will be charmed by their charisma and seeming openness. One day though something will snap and all hell will break loose followed by cats and dogs living together and then mass hysteria. This is why I kinda hope she lasts for awhile. I want to see cats and dogs living together on American Idol. Oh, I forgot about the second reason...her blank stares when the judges critique her. It looks like she immediately goes into self affirmation mode. "It doesn't matter what they say. You are beautiful and talented. You are a star no matter what anyone says."

Chickezie "Jacuzzi" Eze - My man doesn't really need a nickname, but Simon's flub works. Completely likable fellow. He can talk back to the judges and have it not sound like he's a whiny bitch. He is clearly having fun out there. Unfortunately, American Idol hates black men.

Brooke "Goody Two Shoes" White - I will admit I'm kinda in love with her. She also kinda creeps me out. Maybe it's just me. She claims to have never seen an "R" rated movie. Just hearing that gives me flashbacks to my childhood. She's selling herself as this overly good person. Still, I pretty sure I can see a "bad" side to her. I guess I have issues. Anyway, she doesn't have the strongest voice, but she's the smartest contestant this year. Nearly, every decision of hers has been spot on. Her acoustic "Love is a Battlefield" was really good.

David Cook - Three David's? Good grief. This one is the rocker of the bunch. He's so much the rocker that he even incorporates playing an electric guitar in his performances. He's also bland. Very very bland. His remake of Lionel Richie's "Hello" was cheesy fun. If he keeps taking chances like that he might survive for awhile. Still working on his nickname too.


Other Thoughts - After this season they need to find new judges. Their own personal banter is becoming a henderence to the show by excluding both the viewer and the contestant. Shouldn't Simon know that the lead singer of Queen is Freddie Mercury and not "that guy?" He's already screwed up twice on naming the artist who originally sang the song. And once again has not heard a couple songs that are fairly popular. Paula is just worthless. Randy's critiques have become nothing but catch phrases. Even when he disagrees with Simon he just spouts catch phrases. If Idol don't make more decisive adjustments this might be the beginning of the end for Idol.

Ramblings (Basbeall Season is Upon Us! Hello? Where Did Everyone Go Edition?)

I'm so excited at how this final season of The Wire is shaping up. I was a little concerned with the homeless story line, but it is all coming together so nicely. Of course the fact that I wrote "final season" is a bit of a bummer. I'm totally hooked now on this OnDemand. HBO makes the new episodes of The Wire available a week early which makes Mondays bearable.

Speaking of TV. The flash forwards on Lost have completely saved show and was a brilliant move by the writers. Unlike Heroes, the strike might have actually helped Lost, because they seem so honed in and moving the plot along because they don't have to try to fill a full season.

Unfortunately, it looks like the strike might have put an end to Friday Night Lights. If a couple years from now you Netflix the series and end up realizing its brilliance, don't come telling me I was right. I don't want to hear it because you will be two years too late.

We are a little over a week away from the American Idol's final 12. I will be back blogging again about the show, but other than readership spikes I have no idea why it even matters. We already know that David Archuleta is going to when. Have you heard how loud the pre-teen girls squeal when even his name it uttered? It would take some monumental scandal or Paula Abdul actually killing him with love for him not to win. Worst idol season ever? Maybe.

Almost four weeks and still no caffeine intake.

I'm really enjoying The Mae Shi's new album.


Looking forward to The Gutter Twins album tomorrow and the concert April 2.

I recently started a new workout program. It's called Rock Band Drummer. Playing drums for an hour works everything. Well everything except my left leg. The next Rock Band needs double kick drums so I can get the complete workout.

Finally, I will end this post with some practice shots I took with the wonderful Diana+ camera Ben, Julie, and Ella gave me for Christmas.

Simple Gaming Joy

So simple yet so fun. The game is called audiosurf. You pilot a space ship along a track trying to connect three or more same colored bricks together. Just that aspect alone it's an enjoyable time waster of a game. The developers though added a little something to put it over the top. The track bricks all coincide with whatever mp3 or song from a CD that you choose. It works really well. Just want something fun to kill a little time? Then play the game to a slower song. Want a challenge? Then select a faster song from your music collection. I could keep going on and on trying to describe it, but I think seeing the game in action will do a much better job.

Mr. Blue Sky: This is the first video I saw of the game. I love how the track bounces along.


Bohemian Rhapsody: The changes in the song make this a fun song to play.


Then there are leaderboards to see who has the best score on each song, and so on. Sometimes just a clever idea can make a game.

Your 2008 Carling Cup Winners!

Spurs obtained their first silverware in nine years by beating Chelsea 2-1. They outplayed Chelsea for practically the entire match. Still we had to come from behind and then win it in extra-time. Woodgate and King were marvelous in defense, but that didn't make those last fifteen minutes any less unbearable. I lost year at least of my life watching the match. I even got a little misty eyed seeing King kiss and raise the cup. Good things are certain to follow.

Glory, glory Tottenham Hotspur!

Ramblings (The Grindstone Edition)

Because of this throat ailment, I have not had a drink of Pepsi or caffeine of any kind for over a week. For the past three weeks I have drank what would equal about one can of Pepsi. All I have had to drink is water and a couple Gatorades. My body has no idea what is happening. Let me repeat that: Three weeks - one Pepsi.

In celebration of going back to work I purchased the drum set for Rock Band. I was doing fine till I got to the second tier on the hard difficulty. Now I'm all blisters and leg cramps. Being the compulsive person that I am, I've now watched drumming basic videos online, and practiced everywhere I go. Where was this dedication when I was young and learning an actual instrument?

We had the American Idol draft yesterday. I got all the contestants with crazy names:


I'm pretty happy with my picks at least with the two ladies. Still I can't complain that I have someone named Chikezie on my team.

For the record I'm glad the blond kid that sang in a fake British accent didn't make it. I don't care that he supposedly lives in a car. He got cocky, stunk it up, and then tried to cry his way back on. Good riddance.

Saw this on Engadget and it is full on creepy from Elmo to the crazy guy in the lab coat to the Russian Mob boss at the end of the clip.

We always thought when robots took over the world they would like Arnold. Clearly the real future will be much more frightening.

To Ring in My Return to Work

I offer you my first research question post strike: Is there a wedding veil made out of titanium or some other material that would cause a bullet to ricochet?

My Question: How much longer till our next hiatus?

Yes, I Am Back To Work...Amen.

A Little Reccomendation

Just saw a wonderful documentary tonight called "Confessions of a Superhero" that belongs in my Snobfest of 2007. It follows four people that work as superhero characters along Hollywood Blvd. It is a fascinating study of four people who only have their quest for fame and their job in common. There's Superman the veteran of boulevard and son of a former actress. The Hulk is portrayed by a man who came to LA during the riots and lived on the streets. A young Hollywood hopeful who married early plays Wonder Woman. Finally, there is the slightly frightening Batman who has a questionable background. This isn't made to laugh at these people that dress up, but to see why these people do it every day. The film then turns into something more as these people open their life to the cameras. I highly recommend this film.

Ramblings (The Week of Suck)

How about we get the suck part out of the way first. For the past two weeks I've been battling some weird throat infection. This isn't your normal sore throat or strep throat. Somehow my throat got some kind of bacteria or something below my Adam's apple, so I had the constant feeling of gag. Worse is that it would tease me by making me think it was going away only to have it come back stronger. Of course the doctor's remedy was antibiotics which you would think should be working by now. The worse is the lidocaine I was given to numb my throat. It's basically ectoplasm. Wretched tasting ectoplasm.

A side effect to this illness is that my schedule is now all thrown out of whack. With the fear of choking to death in my sleep, it has taken me till 6 or 7 in the morning for me to fall asleep. There's nothing like trying to fall asleep only to see the sunrise.

To top off this wonderful week, my Xbox 360 is once again on the fritz. This time it isn't a red ring of death but simply one blinking red light. If I spin in around on one foot three and a half times and then say "Microsoft Quality Control" backwards followed by the slaughtering of two silverfish I can usually get it to boot on the tenth try. But, that's three dead Xboxes in a little over one calendar year. Three! Why can't the PS3 have decent games?

Finally, my desktop is on death's door. It seems every week one more thing goes wrong with it. This week it has been my display driver.

It hasn't all been bad.

The Mets basically locked up the NL by trading nothing to the Twins for Johan Santana. He just happens to be the best pitcher in the last ten years. Wait no that sucks too for every other NL team. The Cubs need to trade for Bedard and even Roberts too. I'm tired of this thinking that once you make it to the playoffs anything can happen. Well, right now the AL is kicking the NL's ass. We need talent that competes with the AL and not just within the crappy NL central.

But really there is good news. The Tottenham Hotspurs actually got players in the transfer window that will finally help our defense. No more overpaid fourth strikers, but honest to goodness quality defenders. Sure there is now way we can get near the top now, but I think we now have a defense to support our attacking offense.

I picked up both Vampire Weekend's debut album and The Evangelicals album "The Evening Descends." Both are quite good. The Evangelicals is a little trippy, but I really like it for some reason.

I finally was able to survive Metallica's "One" on the hard difficulty in Guitar Hero 3. Really, you have no idea how thrilled I was by this. Maybe that's what killed my Xbox? Slayer's "Raining Blood" still kicks my ass. Stupid old fingers.

Snobfest 2007: The Songs

Finally, we are at the end. Here are my favorite songs of 2007. If you live in LA, you can as always ask for a copy. For those who don't, I've decided to do things a little different this year. I've embedded a flash player for the playlist if you simply want to listen. I've also compiled them all into a zip file to download here. Let me know if you have a problem opening the zip file.

Now on to the songs. It is a little bit dancey this year.

Justice: D.A.N.C.E. - Sure this song has been played to death, but can you blame them?

Whitey: Wrap it Up - I have to support the funky Ohioan even if he is from northern Ohio.

The Virgins: Rich Girls - Nice little Clash-lite ditty that just rolls along in a comfortable groove. My favorite moment is the "you don't have to be such a...asshole all the time" line.

The Wombats: Kill the Director - Post punk guitars, background "oooohs," shout along chorus = great guitar pop song.

Cheap Beat: Club Cheap Beat - It's like they made this song with me in mind. They knew I wanted a growing dance hook of jangly guitars and bouncing bass, and just when I'm to the point of tiring of the hook they throw in a chorus of background "bahs." That alone would've been enough for me, yet they then throw in some background "ohs." Sigh.

Vampire Weekend: Walcott - This seems to be everyone's favorite track from my blog this year, so I guess I don't need to say anything about it. Oh, their debut album comes out this Tuesday.

Matt & Kim: yeah yeah - This song lead to this post. I want to make songs like this in my little apartment.

Ghosthustler: Parking Lot Nights - Or maybe a song like this.

breakbot: happy rabbit - For some reason at the beginning of this song I'm always reminded of the Peanuts theme.

LCD Soundsystem: All My Friends - Probably should have made the album list of Snobfest this year.

White Williams: New Violence - Ok, the dance portion is almost over. I imagine those of you who like your intricate chord changes are a litt-Oooh hand claps.

Jens Lekman: The Opposite of Hallelujah -

I picked up a seashell
To illustrate my homelessness
But a crab crawled out of it
Making it useless

And all my metaphors fell flat
Down on the rocks where we sat
She asked where are you at?

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova: When Your Mind's Made Up - I love how this song builds.

Lucky Soul: Add Your Light to Mine - How I like those sweet bouncy horns.

Dusty Rhodes and The River Band: Dear Honey - I have no idea why I like this song. It's like a San Fran flower child country band wrote a song based on the 90's alterna rock quiet loud song structure.

Blitzen Trapper: Wild Mountain Nation - How many slide guitars does a song need?

Cheyenne: The Whale - It's like a midwest power pop band wanted to write a dance hit. It just chugs along like it should fit between LCD and breakbot, but is doesn't.

The Broken West: Down in the Valley - My LA theme song for the year.

Dinosaur Jr.: Almost Ready - J. Mascis! Barlow! Murph! I wish this song was in Guitar Hero or Rock Band.

Vincent Vincent and the Villains: I'm On My Own - This is exactly what you should expect from a band with this name.

Ida Maria: Oh My God - The angry sing along song of 2007. It just drives itself home till you think it can't build anywhere and then there's that one "Oh My God!" that busts through what you thought was the song's ceiling and you suddenly find you voice a little ragged.

Snobfest 2007: The Movies

Once - Is there a more tonally satisfying last shot than the one in this movie?

No Country for Old Men - If you had to be stalked by either Michael Myers or Anton, who would you choose? I think I'd go Myers.

Hot Fuzz - I really wish "By the power of Greyskull" would have caught on as a catch phrase for 2007.

The Lookout - ...

Juno - Went in expecting another Little Miss Sunshine, but was pleasantly surprised. I am getting awfully tired of these Mod/60's folk/ indie rock soundtracks. I thought Wes Anderson already called dibs on all the Kinks songs? The duet at the end though made it worth it. Is anyone else surprised that we haven't tired of Michael Cera's schtick? This sounds like I'm backhand complimenting the movie. I really enjoyed it. Loved the parents. Loved how it didn't stick with Garner's character being the "bad" one in the marriage. Very funny.

Ratatouille - With this gem, The Incredibles, and The Iron Giant, Brad Bird has his trifecta. I guess that's why he's moving on to direct live action.

3:10 to Yuma - Maybe I just sorely missed a good western, but I enjoyed this movie immensely.

Knocked Up - Apatow still needs an editor, but he's consistent.

Misc. Honors:

Best Efficient Action Movie with a Crappy Sucker Punch Message Ending: The Kingdom

Best I Shouldn't be Enjoying this Movie as Much as I am to the Extent that I'm Feeling a Little Guilty About it Movie: Shoot 'em Up

Best Beautiful Mess of a Movie: There Will Be Blood - I like that this movie has brought out A Reader's Manifesto type criticism. I think it fits. At times I was annoyed and at times bewildered and at times enamored. I fully support this movie and the experimentation of it, but I didn't love it.

Snobfest 2007: Albums

So here are my favorite albums of 2007. I will follow this up with movies and then finally songs. For your viewing pleasure, I've embedded videos from the albums selected. Enjoy. A little warning: the Okkervil River and Afghan Whigs videos are slightly risque.

Blitzen Trapper - Wild Mountain Nation + Cool Love #1 EP

Rarely do kitchen sinks album work, and work as well as Wild Mountain Nation. It's a mix of psychedelic, alt country, power pop, and even a little dash of The Dead. There's the swinging freak-out of the opener Devil's a Go-Go. The Dead like countrified jam of the title track. The Beckish pop of Sci-fi Kid that's hit a few TV shows. The most amazing things is that with all this mixture of different styles it actually holds together. There's a great exuberance and joy to the music. Then you add the EP which you should pick up simply for the title track, Cool Love #1. I just wish it included A Lover Loves too. Pick up these two records and dance the freak-out it will do you some good.



Dinosaur Jr. - Beyond

I hate to repeat myself, but rarely do reunion albums work. Actually, they never work. I can't think of one. At least I can't think of one that is close to being as good as this album. 19 years since the original trio put out Bug, they got back together and put out this album. And you know what nothing has changed. Maybe I am feeding my love for this album with a little nostalgia, but I don't care. It's a great rock and roll record.



Once Sountrack

This will be the only time I will ever put a soundtrack on Snobfest let alone a soundtrack to what is basically a musical. If you still haven't seen this movie, I don't know what you are waiting for. It recently came out on DVD. Borrow it from a friend. Netflix the damn thing. If you did see it and didn't like it, you know what? You have no soul. That's right only the souless could not like this movie.



Jens Lekman - Night Falls Over Kortedala

Damn those Swedes and their ability to make irresistible pop music. Jens has once again created joyful melancholy music. I have always admitted a love for sweet pop songs with string and horns creating the catchy as hell melodies. On top of these melodies Jens recites his witty lyrics in a wonderful deadpan delivery that makes you smile to his relatable tales. This is perfect for those long weekend drives when you aren't in a rush to get where you are going.



Okkervil River - The Stage Names

With this album and their last album and appendix, Okkervil River has been given my "first day purchase" seal of approval. I will buy their next album the day it is released without thinking. With Stage Names it seems Okkervil River have taken everything and compressed it all into a dense nine song album. The opening and closing tracks are the two standouts of a great album. I will take Okkervil over Mr. Bright Eyes' whiny naive preaching any day.



Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted

This could probably be a nice companion album to Lekman's previously mentioned one. There's a little Motown, Beach Boys, and 60's girls group wrapped up into a wonderful pop album.



The National - The Boxer

Another artist that has received the "first day purchase" seal of approval. Once again The National have created a genius album that you can't really appreciate with a few passing listens while you clean your apartment. There are no "rockers" like "Lit Up" or "Mr. November" on Alligator. These songs still pack a punch. I hate assigning numbers my Snobfest selections, but if forced this is the best album of the year.



The Afghan Whigs - Unbreakable

What? Don't look at me like that. I know it's a compilation album, but come on. I finally get to put an Afghan Whigs album in Snobfest. I had to do it.

FINALLY!

It took 9 years but Tottenham has beaten hated rivals Arsenal. The crowd was absolutely out of their gourds the whole match. Add the fact that they trounced them 5-1 and it is a great day for Tottenham supporters.

Cloverfield: A Titan Review (Very Very Slight Spoilers)

To ring in the first "big" movie of the year, I though I would do a hardly famous Titan review of Cloverfield.

Take this as a good sign or a bad sign, but Cloverfield is exactly the movie I thought it would be but not what I would hope it would be. It is a kind of Blair Witch and Godzilla mash-up. Rather than focus the story on scientists and the military trying to stop the monster destroying Manhattan, the movie tells the story of those caught underfoot of the monster. Its a smart idea, and is technically pulled off quite well. A group pretty young urban professionals gather to send off their friend, Rob, who is moving to Japan to be vice president of something. After establishing who's who through normal party talk and relationship banter, all hell breaks loose as the monster attacks. The small group of friends led by Rob try to get out of Manhattan alive. There are some nice set pieces from getting caught in a fire fight between the military and the monster to walking through a subway tunnel to a quick stop at a military post. The hand held camera on the whole works well by putting the viewer in the dust and screams filling Manhattan. There are still cliche's like the night vision scene that you know would happen, and was ten times scarier in The Descent. There are no answers given to where the monster came from ala Tremors. It's just people trying to survive. My problem is I didn't care. The characters come across like they are from some teen TV drama. They are young, pretty, whiny, and disposable. We don't care that Rob wants to go back and save the girl who he never told he loved. Shouldn't they have characters we can maybe identify with? Though who else would film themselves trying to escape a monster destroying Manhattan? Maybe that is the point in this You Tube inspired movie. But you have to care if they die don't you? Cloverfield is a solid popcorn monster movie that is cleverly done and tightly paced. I just wish I cared.

Snobfest 2007: Video Games

Best "Forget the Story Let's Just Play" Game of the Year: There have been plenty of sandbox games: Grand Theft Auto, Saint's Row, Mercenaries, etc. The designers give you one big city or area to play around in and do what you want. The problem is it the games got a little boring if you ventured too far off the set story line. Sure there are side missions and other challenges you could try to accomplish, but it was all kind of eh. "Kind of Eh" I think is the new title of this blog. Anyway, earlier this year a game called Crackdown came along. A crap load of people bought it for one big reason: Halo 3 demo included! The thing is the game is a lot of fun, and it's not the story that is fun. It is just playing around in the world that really makes this game. Making it even better is playing online with a friend. There are gang members and their bosses you can have fun killing, but there are so many more satisfying things you can do as two super human cops. Play dodge ball with cars, rocket launcher tag, sucker kick your friend off a tall building (never ever gets old), play HORSE with jumps, and so on and so on. Finally a game that makes just playing in the sandbox fun. Now if it only allowed four players online.

Best "It's Like a Movie" Game of the Year: Call of Duty developers, Infinity Ward, did the smart thing on its fourth installment by taking it out of WWII and placing it in modern day because I don't think I could have played another WWII game. It would've been a shame if I hadn't have picked this game up because it is simply brilliant. It is still a finely tuned and expertly paced Call of Duty game. It still looks fantastic. The developers just seemed to have brought it all together in Call of Duty 4. From the chaotic assaults to manning massive gun from a gunship to working your way across an abandoned city to snipe a warlord it is all expertly told and laid out. It really is like a six hour movie that concludes in a fantastic set piece. Most of all I'm simply happy that bad guys can no longer hide behind doors and thin walls. The bullets pass through objects they should pass through. Is some militant hiding ducking behind a barrel? Unload into the barrel to take him out. My only real complaint is that there is no co-op, and no cover system like Rainbow Six: Vegas or Gears of War.

Best "End of an Era" Game of the Year: This year has basically seen Sony walk away from the Playstation 2. This year the system has mainly seen Guitar Hero bonus crap, sports games, and a slew of Japanese RPG's. There was though one huge last gasp made by the PS2, and that was God of War II. The developers squeezed every bit they could out of the decade old system to deliver a thrilling game worthy of its predecessor. The story may not be as compelling as the original, but that could be simply chalked up to the cliff hangerish ending. It still moves the story of Kratos forward with polished combat, the always appreciated frustration free puzzles, and great boss battles. If Metal Gear doesn't cause me to buy a PS3, I'm certain God of War 3 will.

Best Over Anticipated Game of the Year: What else but the final chapter in the game franchise that saved Xbox? If it wasn't for Halo would there even be an Xbox 360? Halo 3 was easily the biggest game of the year. It sold millions of copies. People all around the world either couldn't wait to see how it ended or couldn't wait to be cussed out by 10 year olds. Halo 2 made me swear off online gaming with strangers. Anyway, Halo 3 is actually a good game. I still get thrill when I take down a Scarab. It's like Luke taking out an AT-AT. The story came to a satisfying conclusion. I really like the meta-game in four player co-op. But my own personal glee comes from the Grunt Birthday Party skull. Seeing grunts heads explode in confetti when shot followed by children screaming "Yay!" never gets old...never.



Best Massive Game of the Year: I played only one RPG this year: Mass Effect. I'm not a huge RPG fan, but I will play any game that Bioware puts out. How can you go wrong with the team behind Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic? Well apparently a lot of people think they did go wrong. This game topped a lot of people's biggest disappointment list. To be honest I have a difficult time disagreeing with their issues with the game. The inventory system is overwhelming and at times confusing. It did take me awhile to get some kind of handle on the combat system. Even then I found myself sticking with what little I figured out. I too got sick of all the elevators you had to take. No I don't know why you can sprint only while in combat. And driving that tank around drove me up the wall. But you know what? I still couldn't stop playing. I debated every decision I had to make. I loved being the bad ass with a soft side. Sure I had my character be cold and unforgiving toward those who broke the law or crossed me, but I did my best to help the innocent. (Slight Spoiler) Near the end of the game you are forced to choose which of your teammates you have to send on a suicide mission. For about five minutes I debated the pros and cons of sending either teammate. The thing is once I made my peace with the decision, near the end of that mission you are asked again, "Are you sure you want this person to die." Ugh, that ate up another five minutes debating the fate of two video game characters. See, the story pulls you in, and it's a wonderfully told epic of a story. I did get sick of those elevators.

Best "I Can Rock & You Can Too" Game of the Year: I know I've gone all over this again, but bear with me. This year we saw the battle of the rock star simulator games. It was Guitar Hero 3 vs. Rock Band. I've gone over my pros and cons. Guitar Hero 3 is tough. I mean sneaky tough. You're just going along fine till you hit the brick wall that is "Live in Japan." Then the game makes you cry. Guitar Hero also has the better guitar in my opinion. Rock Band on the other hand is more accepting of new comers. This acceptance also means there wasn't a whole lot of challenge if you simply wanted to play guitar, or knew of nobody who wanted to be a in a video game band with you. Then something happened called "Downloadable content." Downloadable content has put Rock Band ahead of Guitar Hero for me. Harmonix, the developer of Rock Band, clearly knows what keeps a game like this going. Since their release, Guitar Hero 2 has had 20 tracks available for download. Three of those are the boss battles that were already in the game. One was We Three Kings for Christmas season, and there was the Halo theme. The last time they made new content available was Dec. 20th. Rock Band has 41 tracks available for download. From the Monkees' "Last Train to Clarksville" to Radiohead's "My Iron Lung" and on through to Metallica's "Ride the Lightning." Every Tuesday since the game was released they have made at least three new tracks available for download. That alone is why I have played Rock Band every week since I've bought it, and why it gets my pick for rock simulator of the year. I should also admit that it has taken every ounce of self control not to buy the drums and microphone for the game. Once this strike is over, I'm starting a fake band!

Best "Game of the Year" Game of the Year: So we know what this is going to be. It's already been on the top of a number of Game of the Year lists. It is the creepy, noirish, Atlas Shrugged inspired Bioshock. It is almost as perfect as gaming can get. Everything from story to music to gameplay to design is superb. It is one of the few games that got me a little choked up at the end after saving all the "Little Sisters." I had to look away from the TV when I played it a second time and would harvest the "Little Sisters." I got the shivers hearing the clickety scrape of the Splicers crawling across the ceilings. I got that feeling of dread hearing the ominous moan followed by the heavy thumps of a Big Daddy. I even began to feel a little sad after killing a Big Daddy knowing he was only there to protect the "Little Sisters." My point is that the developers have created a world that you can completely get lost in. My only complaint is the pipe dreamish hacking you have to do on vending machines, cameras, turrets, etc. While they are fun for the first couple levels, they soon become an annoying chore no matter how much you up your hacking skills, but that's it. Everything else is perfect.

Best "Bang for Your Buck" Game of the Year: It has an awful name called "The Orange Box." But what comes inside this "box" is pure gold. For the price of one game you get the brilliant Half Life 2 along with the two following episodes. But that's not all...you also get the online multiplayer Team Fortress 2. All of these are A+ games. The real gem in this deal is a short first person puzzler called Portal. In Portal you are a test subject that has to make its way through 19 different levels. All you have is a portal gun that can pick up objects and create portals. For example you shoot the gun at a wall the entrance portal is created. You shoot again at another wall the exit portal is created. You use this along with gravity and a weighted companion cube to solve the nineteen levels where you will apparently be given cake as your reward. It should be mentioned though that graffiti written by previous test subjects warn that the cake is a lie. This alone makes for an ingenious game. What puts it over the top though is GLaDOS (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System). GlaDOS is who observes your progress and educates you through your tasks. She lets you know about the cake reward, and the physics of the portal gun. "Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out." She also encourages you, "Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism." GlaDOS turns out to be the funniest video game character since I don't know when. Here are some other GLaDOS quotes:

"The Enrichment Center promises to always provide safe testing environments. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."

"Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."

"Wheeeeeeeee."

"Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position, or you will miss the party."

"When I said 'deadly neurotoxin,' the deadly was in massive sarcasm quotes."

"You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here."

"That thing you burnt up isn't important to me. Not any more. It's the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit; it makes shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero."

To wrap things up go buy The Orange Box just for this game. Just consider all the other games as really really good icing.

I leave you now with the Portal credits. This almost made the list of Snobfest 2007 Songs.

Snobfest 2007: Year in Review

Have you wondered where I've been? Did you think I went on a mission to rid the world of the SEC? Perhaps I became a professional fantasy football player after winning my championship even though I had Willie Parker as running back in the championship game? Some of you probably thought I started my own Celebrity Death handicapping business since I won my Celebrity Death Pool. (Special thanks to Brooke Astor, Lady Bird Johnson, and Dan Fogelberg for their help in making it happen.) Maybe I started touring with a rock band or a Rock Band band? Could I have given up all my worldly possessions and wandered the planet like the Hulk? Sadly, the answer to all of those is: No.

What I have been doing is working on the always loved and partially skimmed through Snobfest. Before we begin though let us look back, briefly, to what happened in 2007.

January:

My Xbox 360 caught the Red Ring of Death.

Ohio State got crushed by an SEC team.

I pulled off the movie trifecta with: Children of Men, Dreamgirls and Pan's Labyrinth.

I gave birth to this:

For a moment I would like to point out how disappointed I am with all these "strike" beards that talk show hosts and others are sporting like a badge of courage. There is no courage in growing a beard. Beards are easy. You can grow one just out of laziness. They cover half your face with no real embarrassment. A mustache takes real courage. You have to make a mustache happen.



And in a moment of complete boredom I made this:



February:

I had my wisdom teeth removed and was fine the next day.

That's all that happened.

March:

Larry "Bud" Melman and Brad Delp pass away. This made March a very sad month.

My readership triples with American Idol recaps.

I wrote the following on March 30, 2007:

"The Indians will beat the Yankees in the ALDS and then lose to the Red Sox in the ALCS. This will reinforce the Red Sox as the second most hated team in baseball."

April:

Lou Piniella loses it and a Cubs pitcher and catcher beat the crap out of each other. Surprisingly, the team improves.

Jennie and Inga visited!

I become addicted to playing a toy guitar.

May:

We learn that the American Idol producers have gotten lazy in trying to hide how rigged their show is.

Anne Marie graduates from college. I get to see how dirty hippies live.

Mandy and I learn that there are squirrels in Arizona that have the bubonic plague! People are apparently fine with this.

Mandy attends her first MLB game.

I began going to have my ass massaged legally through physical therapy.

June:

After months of taking Enbrel, 90% of the psoriasis is gone. I have no complications other than the expected baby arm. I stop wearing a hat. Cats and dogs start living together which is soon followed by mass hysteria.

Tony Soprano dies or doesn't. We will never know. Do you realize that? We will never know! Half of America rationalized themselves into believing this is OK.

The inaugural Movies That Suck Sunday is held.

July:

I become addicted to physical therapy.

The love between bobby and I is tested when we disagree about the movie, The Lookout.

The love is healed by the power of rock and roll and crappy movies when Movies that Suck Sunday II is held.

August:

Anne Marie moves to LA. There is much rejoicing.

My Xbox 360 contracts the Red Ring of Death, again, in the same year. There is much damning.

The Cubs are actually in a pennant race. I lose a year of my life for every game played from here on out.

September:

I join the Reading to Kids program.

The Cubs make the playoffs.

October:

The Cubs are swept out of the playoffs.

I quit smoking

Writers threaten to strike over new media residuals.

I tire of talking about the strike.

The Indians beat the Yankees in the ALDS and then lose to the Red Sox in the ALCS. The Red Sox become the second most hated team in baseball.

November:

Writers strike. Nobody outside of LA and NY really notices.

I rocked them all!

People outside of LA and NY think the writer's strike is over. It's not.

December:

I sit on my ass... a lot.

Christmas in Ohio.

Most of my family wakes up at 6:30 in the morning to go to an Irish Pub to see my Tottenham Hotspurs play Assenal on TV. Perhaps the greatest day of 2007 even though they lost.

January 2008:

Half of LA is still jobless.

Ohio State got crushed by an SEC team. Buckeyes are only halfway to becoming the collegiate Buffalo Bills.