It’s a Shame About Ray

Meet Ray Izzard. One of the oddest guys I’ve ever had the chance to meet. David Letterman once said of Andy Kaufman: "Sometimes when you look Andy in the eyes, you get a feeling somebody else is driving." That’s how I felt about Ray.

I met Ray my sophomore year. He lived three or four units down from mine. I don’t remember how or when, but for some reason he gravitated toward me and my friends. Maybe we were the only ones that talked to him. Maybe we were the only ones that wouldn’t treat him like shit, and he took a lot of shit.

Ray made the one mistake a lot of the “odd” people do; he tried too hard. So desperate for friends he would often annoy and wear out his welcome with those that would actually befriend/tolerate him. People would give him a chance but then the really crazy Ray would grab the wheel. At first he’d just say inappropriate things around mixed company or over stay his welcome. He became the unwelcome tagalong we couldn’t shake. He’d start showing up out of nowhere like the killer in the slasher movies. At that point we began to distance ourselves from Ray. Hanging around with Ray, you got that feeling that at one point he would just snap. That’s how creepy it got. You waited for the moment when someone would finally press that button and Ray would go boom.

Besides the creepy habits and the need to draw attention by making an ass of himself I always thought that perhaps there was a little bit of “genius” buried under all the insecurity and self loathing. His sense of the absurd could’ve taken him places, could’ve been really funny. But it wasn’t absurd to Ray. It was just a desperate act for attention. Take his famed dance routine as an example. He often spoke of his high school cheerleading routine. He would hide in a bag and then while Europe’s Final Countdown plays he would slowly emerge from the bag in spandex. Absurd? Yes. Funny? Not when Ray did it.

Ray eventually left halfway through my junior year. At least I think he left. All I know is that he vanished. So, I raise my Pepsi to you Ray…where ever you are. I hope you’ve found peace with yourself. I hope you’ve become as funny as thought you could’ve been. I hope you stopped wearing your pants so high.

Mo' Problems

With my storage site wrapping up their first stage of relaunch, I have another problem. The site is delaying direct linking till they get all the bugs worked out. So that means the Songs of the Week and the Goodness episodes aren't available for download. Hopefully, they will have the direct linking working, and I can get back to shoving what music I like down your throats.

Guess Where I'll Be March 11th.

Of course this will be a complete tease till the album comes out in May.

Embarrasing Moments (Undergrad Edition)

So my online storage site is down for three days while they re-launch. The good is that I’ll be upgraded to 15 GB. The bad is that all my shit for today and tomorrow’s post are inaccessible as is all the mp3s on the blog. Saturday things are supposed to be back up and running. We’ll see. To make up for the delay here’s a quick one while we wait.

The most embarrassing things I did while enrolled at Cedarville. Again, these are not in any particular order. I leave that up to you the reader.

I willingly paid money to see a concert featuring Firehouse and Tesla. I know I’ve mentioned this before. What I didn’t admit was that I went to see Firehouse.

This happened.

There was the time I spent a whole day marinating and cooking Lamb shank with homemade chocolate mousse for a date. She was from England and had that accent going on. That's the only reason I can give for going all out the way I did. Turned out she doesn't eat lamb and is allergic to chocolate. She then proceeded to ignore me during for the rest of my life. Teh only time I saw her was when she hooked up with my friends. Yeah, that's not really embarassing, just sad. But, she was British, like she would know what good food was.

I once took a girl on a date to a Michael W. Smith concert. First off, her name was Misty Dawn. Yeah, winner! Second, she instantly broke into waterfall like tears when Mr. Smith hit the first few notes of “Friends.” She cried during the whole song, and long after the song ended. Not knowing what to do, I slowly inched away from her. Then she didn’t say a word during the whole ride back. Ok, the really embarrassing part was me dancing during DC Talk’s “Heavenbound.” H-h-h-heavenbound!

Trying to pull off my own romantic comedy, I carried on the charade of asking a friend for advice about a crush I had. What I didn’t tell her until a month later was that she was the one I had the crush on. Um…yeah…that tactic didn’t work. It was neither romantic nor comedic. Well, it could be funny in that Curb Your Enthusiasm kind of painful way. Wow, I was really lame back then.

Then there’s this:

I know there are some more, but my brain is fried.

Cedarville Flashbacks

Since absolutely nothing is happening in my life worth bothering even myself with, and with Adam and Eric recently becoming a part of Throwaways, I'm going to throw out a few Cedarville stories for the rest of the week. It actually may be just one big post, we'll see. Mark your calendars accordingly.

Ramblings (President’s Day Edition)

Two small baseball things:

Have you seen any superstar athlete drop as fast as Sammy Sosa? I’m not speaking of only his skills but in the opinion poll of the fans. The biggest contract he was offered was for $500,000. He's declined it and it appears he will retire. My question: Does anyone care that Sosa might retire? If this had happened two years ago there would’ve been a parade and every visiting ballpark would’ve said goodbye to Sammy. Funny what a corked bat and steroids speculation can do to a Hall of Fame career. (I feel like I've written this exact same thing before.)

For all those who were concerned that Corey Patterson might actually turn it around in Baltimore and show up the Cubs, I offer up this quote from the Tribune:

"Everyone meant well," Patterson said. "But sometimes you have to do your own thing. I don't point any fingers or say it was anybody's fault. I blame myself. You have to mentally be yourself. You have to be consistent. When you start changing, things go badly."

Sound familiar? Yes, it’s the exact same excuse he’s used the previous two years. Good riddance.

Okay let’s make it three baseball things:

The word of an “illness” during the winter keeping Prior off-track does scare the hell out of me. The Cubs say it has nothing to do with his arm. Sounds like the normal Cubs PR spin. There is something fishy going on.

With last weeks Valentine’s Day it has now been 34 years that I have yet had to celebrate Valentine’s Day. This isn’t said for sympathy or bragging it’s simply an odd occurrence. For some reason (perhaps the last couple posts?) I’ve either haven’t had a girlfriend or my girlfriend and I that time were taking a break. I’ve actually done more for my friends and their girlfriends than for my romantic interests. For example, I once dressed as Waldo and hid in the mall with flowers for one of my dorm mate’s girlfriends.

This weekend the local news had a bumper talking about the “cold hitting the south land” and how long will it last? This meant that we had rain and it hit maybe a little bit below 40 for the low. Meanwhile MOL Nation is covered in ice. How can the LA people even think of complaining?

Monday, I made the trek up to North Hollywood to see “The Matador” with Bobby. The Matador is a comedy about a sleazy facilitator (assassin) who meets a family man who has had a few bad years of luck. It’s a very enjoyable and funny film. Brosnan is wonderfully sleazy. It’s the first movie in some time that fulfilled that movie fix I keep looking for.

Speaking of movies, I finally got around to seeing “Project Grizzly.” It came recommended by We Will Eat You. It’s a doc about a guy who has spent years trying to build this Grizzly proof suit. Thing is he has no expertise in Grizzlies or anything (except maybe Bowie knives). I would say this falls along the lines of Hands on a Hard body. Not as many quotable lines, but still enjoyable. This is not to be confused with Grizzly Man. They would though make a great double feature.

Thanks to all those who either watched Goodness on iFilm or at least thought about it. Episode 3 reached over 1,000 views in about four days. Why eps 1&2 have less than that I have no idea.

Finally, to once again prove not only what kind of geek I am, but how old I am. This is one of my first TV crushes. Does anyone recognize her? Of course the dude in the picture should at least give away what show it is. Right? Ever since my George McFly reference fell on unknowing ears, I've questioned the relevance of my pop culture knowledge.

More Lucha Vavoom Pics!

Tsuki! Tsuki! Tsuki!

Luchadores, Midgets, and Burlesque! Oh My!

Last night I experienced the genius that is Lucha Vavoom. Twice a year in LA a company puts on a three day show of masked Mexican wrestling and burlesque. Here’s how things went down.

Somehow my friend and coworker, Flava D, and I convinced some of our associates to attend the event with us. To start off the night we all met at Philippe’s for some outstanding French Dip.

Then we headed to the Mayan for some wrestling goodness.

The first requirement when arriving was to buy a mask. I went with the classic Blue Demon Jr. mask. Flava D. went with Dr. Wagner. Even our new PA Jenn joined in buying a mask.

Flava D, Jenn, Me

The Lucha Vavoom show is basically five to six matches with commentaries by local comedians. Last night we had Patton Oswalt and Dana Gould. My guess was Dana Gould had been doing all three shows because his voice was gone. In between each match they have burlesque dancers come out and do a show. The burlesque is pretty old school in that the costumes are extravagant and the women aren’t exactly attractive. Every now and then they have a guy come out and do a tease for the ladies in the audience. The guy undressing while jumping on a pogo stick was a favorite with the ladies.

Non-masked friends

It should also be said that the crowd attracts every type of Los Angelian imaginable. It’s worth it just to go and people watch. There were a few C and D list celebrities and comedians roaming around. The unexpected celebrity spotting was a well dressed Gary Shandling and his “girlfriend.”

The show started off with a bang when the Wau Wau Sisters came out to do a trapeze act to GnR’s Welcome to the Jungle. I should state that they smoked and drank beer during the whole act. Genius! The show exploded from there. To my excitement the first match included two of the Los Gallineros. Their tag team women partners the Poubelles gave a better show than the chickens. Still a nice opening match.

The highlight match of the evening was the midget tag team match starring Tsuki. Tsuki got the biggest crowd push of the night and he deserved it. He’s genius.

The other matches I was bothered by some drunk that kept yelling about the Carney’s stealing his money. Out of all the people in the audience he had to select me to talk to. The final match unfortunately did not include Super Porky. The night before had actually been his last match. Still Blue Demon Jr., who is Lucha Libre royalty, wrestled along with the transvestite Cassandra. Who apparently is really huge. I don’t get it, but he did wrestle the best in the match, and did it with two cracked ribs. The real highlight of the match was seeing a drunken fan charge the ring and five or six big guys just crush him. Why would you run into a ring that is occupied with four 300lb men? The show then ended with a guy performing with hula hoops while dangling from the ceiling.

That’s brief wrap-up of the over the top and tongue in cheek exhibition of Lucha Vavoom. Obviously, Lucha Vavoom isn’t for everyone. Still, it’s something that can’t be missed. You’ve never seen anything like Lucha Vavoom. This October, when they come back, Flava D and I have already made plans to attend. This time we’re shelling out for floor seats. None of this general admission crap. This event following the MOL Nation party has made for one the greatest Februarys in a long long time.

Big ups to everyone who showed up, particularly Mike O. who came even though he recently had his knee rebuilt. Big ups to Jenn too who understood the importance of buying a mask.

More pictures are coming once I get them from Jen.

Viva La Lucha Vavoom!

Finally! It's Time to Get My Lucha Libre On!

Tonight I get to attend the grand spectacle that is Lucha Vavoooooooom! I hope Los Gallineros are there.











I hope the small but mighty Tsuki is there.













But most of all I hope Super Porky is there!


















Maybe this event will result in a CSI: Miami epsiode involving Lucha Libre! Caruso and Super Porky side by side! We can only dream.

Sweet Mother Hubbard It's Almost Upon Us!

One More Day!

An Even Better Way to Put Some Goodness In Your Life.

Tim over at 3CT had the gumption to put the Goodness episodes on iFilm. This means you don't have to wait hours to download the files. With a simple click it will be streaming onto your computer screen. For those unaware of Goodness, it is three episodes detailing the life of struggling writers in Hollywood. I would say the "comedy" is in Curb and The Office vein. The boys at 3CT and myself are the ones that put it together. So enjoy, and if you like them pass it on to some friends. Thanks.

Goodness on iFilm

Pitchers and Catchers Report!

That's right folks it's the first day of Spring Training, which means baseball season is upon us. It's the time where every team believes they have a shot except for the Royals, Marlins, Devil Rays, Orioles, Tigers, Rangers, Mariners, Nationals, Brewers, Reds, Pirates, Diamondbacks, Rockies, etc.

Power Pop Sweetness Overload

Before I left for Dallas, I mentioned overspending on a few CD’s. Well, it has been like a mini-birthday the last two days because they’ve all arrived in that time. Yesterday, though, the mother load came in. On my binge, I bought all 7 CD’s in a series called Teenline. From the late 70’s to the early 80’s there was a deluge of power pop bands recording songs on 4 track in garages across the US and UK. The bands would then get their songs out to the public on vinyl and cassette. The guys at the Hyped 2 Death label have collected these 45’s, LP’s and cassettes, remastered them and put them on CD for the listening public. That means I now have 7 CD’s with 20+ songs each. That’s a hell of a lot of power pop. Once I get through all of this maybe I’ll post a cream of the crop song. Power pop may be too sweet for some musical palates, but it is still genius there are labels like this that are making an effort to preserve these rare songs. Perhaps there's a label restoring lost classics of your favorite style.

It's Getting Closer!

Only two more days! Are you scared yet?

Does Anyone Remember This Video?

I don't think this is the original cover. Also, I remember a similar video coming out a couple years before this. That one scared the crap out of me. Hells Bells, made me chuckle during Junior Bible class in high school. When my college had a speaker come talk about the evils of rock, I was the one fishing through all the CD's that were thrown away. Some would say these are clear steps of my decent to hell. Most of them reside in South Carolina.

It's Coming...

Only Three More Days!

My Weekend Wandering the Land of a Thousand MOL’s

Here’s a “little” breakdown of my first visit to Dallas for the annual(?) gathering of MOL’s.

Day One:

The flight was wonderfully uneventful: no sickness, no crying babies, and no delays. Upon arriving it was like the weather gods enacted their revenge for the balmy Christmas I had in Ohio. In other words it was cold and windy, at least until I left.

I settled into my hotel and called the voice and face of MOL Nation, MOL Jr. I was now prepared for my indoctrination into the nation. It began at Adair’s in the Deep Ellum area of Dallas. There I met the statesman El MOL, Suburban Jesus, and J-nice. I should state at this point that it’s odd of having everyone introduced as their real name and blog name. So, let’s stick with their given names.

Ronnie and Mitchell had families to attend so I joined Luke and fellow Hollywoodian Josh, Carter, and Eric at Lindsay A’s apartment for a viewing and discussion of the film The Constant Gardner. It wasn’t a bad plan except Luke had unwittingly bought an illegal copy of Constant Gardner which of course wouldn’t play. So we watched Millions instead.

Things then progressed to the Tipperary Inn where I met nearly everyone else (Sara, Babs, Kerri, Jess, etc.) for drinks and fish and chips. It should be noted that Serj Tankian of System of a Down apparently moonlights there singing Irish songs. At this point I realize there are factions within the MOL nation. Not being the only person that needs introductions helped make the acclimation process a little easier.

The first day of the MOL Weekend wrapped up as we closed the Tipperary, and went our separate ways. I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but the gradual meeting of MOL Nation in small groups throughout the day rather than all at once helped me feel not so overwhelmed.

Day Two:

I meet Ronnie, Amy, and MOL in training Phoebe for lunch. When I say MOL in training it is clear that Phoebe is perhaps the biggest MOL of them all. This got me to thinking that perhaps we are at the height of our MOLness when we are but wee pups and it’s all downhill as we age. That would explain our need to prove and vocalize how MOL we are when we’re older.

The rest of the day I had to explore Dallas by myself. I went to a few CD stores on Ronnie’s recommendation. The best being Good Records where they were celebrating their 5^th or 6^th year. To celebrate they had local bands scheduled to play all day. For the two hours I spent there I saw The Theater Fire and The Deathray Davies. Both are solid bands but the power pop leanings of the Deathray Davies won me over. I will give the accordion player, singer and Wes Anderson look-alike of the Theater Fire points for the following quote. “My Mom was at a Kinks show, and went home with Ray Davies…True story.”

I then went to Freebirds for a burrito. As many of you know there is much debate over who makes the best burrito between Freebirds and Chipotle. I will say that I actually lean towards the “Q” for my burrito. The other two are good, but they don’t have the cheese sauce that the “Q” does. Yes, I deducted points from Freebirds when it fell apart over my sweater because of poor construction.

That led to an impromptu shopping trip for non-stained clothes. It’s at this point that I would like to state that I was in fact planning on donning red and white for the party. Unfortunately, a Freebird burrito had other plans.

After a short nap, I readied myself for the MOL Jr. shindig.

The following took place at the MOL Nation party.

Here’s a small sampling of some of the things that took place at the MOL Nation party.

-Nerd shots

-MOLish discussion on such movie topics as best comedy and worst sequel.

-The unexpected appearance by the L-train.

-To Linz I'm now "the liar."

-Much picture taking, but not a lot on my camera. It was having occasional fits of shutting down. Also I’m not the best with a camera just ask Sara.

-Quiet reflection at the monument of Genslay.

-Faith made an appearance by phone. It was great to put a voice, accent and all, to the
face and blog.

-Video game and other geek goodness discussions with Shawn, Jess, and David.

-Devouring the sweet goodness of Sara’s Kahlua Chocolate Chunk cookies.

-Natalie even visited from Austin which trumps my visit because I least I had face to face time with Ronnie and Shawn before the birth of the MOL Nation.

Big ups to Sara who was kind enough to open her cool house to everyone.

I would also like to make one apology. I meant to post about this before I left for Dallas. If I was talking to you at the party, and at one point kept asking you to repeat yourself, and then after the fifth repeat I just smiled and nodded my head at something I shouldn’t have been nodding about it’s because I have tinnitus in both ears. It makes it a little difficult for me to hear voices in loud areas. So if I agreed to something and I haven’t done it, I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m a complete jackass, but that I can’t hear. Yes, I realize how old this makes me sound.

Day Three:

For some reason I scheduled my flight back home at 9pm. At least this gave another full day in Dallas.

It began with me picking up a Deathray Davies album, and seeing Match Point at the Angelika. I then had a late lunch at the recommended Gloria’s for some good Salvadoran food. The rest of the day was spent at the Grassy Knoll and the Dallas World Aquarium. It’s all about the otters. With a full day behind me I was ready to go home to warmer weather and 5 mph winds. Sure the weather wasn’t that great, but I recommend a visit to Dallas if you get the chance. It has a solid local music scene, nice eateries, and good movie theaters.

Eventually, I flew home, and my flight sucked. Why? Because 80% of the passengers were employees of some glorified pyramid cult called ACN. They wore their little badges and chains proudly as they discussed the “morons” that wouldn’t give their all to the company, and who was under what team leader. My idea of a nice plane trip is not people trying to sell me into joining their “team.” I had five people confront me before boarding. Three talked to me on the flight. Then one guy tried again to get me to join while I waited for my luggage. They clearly beat out crying babies, sick people, and the obese as the worst people you could get stuck with on a plane. Still it couldn’t damper the enjoyable weekend with the MOL Nation.

It was great putting actual humans with their blogs. Everyone was very accommodating and nice to the new old man from LA and it was definitely worth the plane flight. I only had a few regrets. I wish I could’ve met the third part of the MOL Trinity, Genslay. It would’ve been nice to spend a little more one on one time, but that’s not exactly conducive to parties. I wish Mitchell and his wife, Cheryl, had been able to join me and Ronnie’s family for lunch. I am facinated by El MOL and would've enjoyed a little more discussion time. I honestly wish J-Nice and Sound/Fury had been able to make it.

Finally, I leave you with some things I’ve learned on this trip to Dallas.

1. Dallas’ carbonated beverage of choice is Dr. Pepper. Not in a casual way, but in the “it was difficult for me to find Pepsi anywhere” kind of way.
2. Death will always show up at a concert.
3.I will pay $35 bucks more for an extra six inches of leg room on a plane.
4. Salvadoran skirt steak with chimichurri is the shit.
5.Phoebe may very well be to MOL Nation what Luke Skywalker was to the Jedi.

Thanks again MOL Nation and particularly Ronnie and Sara for a great weekend. For better pictures go over to J-lay and Sara's site. Mine suck.

Does Anyone Remember This Man?

Let Me Get this Straight…

In the biggest blockbuster trade since Gretzky went to the Kings, ESPN traded broadcaster Al Michaels to NBC for the following:

1. Rights to broadcast Friday’s Round of the Ryder Cup.

2. Longer Olympics, Notre Dame football, Kentucky Derby and Preakness highlights till 2011.

And…the rights to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

Apparently Oswald is the first character Walt Disney produced. Somehow Universal owned the rights. Oswald is now back home with Disney.

I assume if ESPN asked NBC to take Stuart Scott it would ended any trade talk. Again, I only assume. Perhaps they could’ve traded away any WNBA highlights?

This trade pretty much opens up a ton of possibilities in big time trades for the entertainment industry. Here are some possibilities.

Britney Spears trades hubby Federline for just a trace of dignity.

Halle Berry trades in her Oscar so that Catwoman can be wiped from public’s memory.

Cubs Fans trade Superfan Jim Belushi to University of Kentucky for Superfan Ashley Judd. Kentucky also receives a supply of Chicago dogs and Old Style.

I trade my balding for Jiff’s receding hairline.

This just in UK has just cut Jim Belushi.

Ramblings (Early Edition)

Because I’ll be on may way to the big D for my first official visit we are going to have to do the ramblings a day early.

Through the magic of sitemeter I’ve determined that around 20 of my hits this week have been from people looking for info about Gillette’s sample of its Fusion razors. To keep those hits coming let me give a little review. I can’t tell the difference between five and four blades. It works fine and I was glad I didn’t reenact the mirror scene from Poltergeist. Still, five is overkill. Actually four is probably overkill.

Do the Grammy’s matter anymore? I mean other than boosting record sales for a week. Do kids in their parent’s basement or garage pick up a guitar or microphone with dreams of a Grammy statue? Does an artist ever feel validated by a Grammy.

I’ve come to realize the problem with modern R&B. Too often they try to hitch onto the hip-hop money train. R&B needs to get back to what made Motown, Stax, and Muscle Shoals artists so great. I don’t say this as a knock on hip-hop. I just think R&B can be better if it didn’t lean so heavily on hip-hop.

Just to warn you all I signed up for fantasy baseball this week.

This was one of those non-stop busy weeks at work. I chalk it up to the work gods making sure I earn the Friday I’m taking off. Part of the problem of this job is what you end up having to see. It’s not like a horror movie. No matter how good the makeup job they can never equal the violence and trauma of a real murder. Some of the worst I’ve seen came across my desk this week. Color pictures are always worse. What really amazes me is that Medical Examiners see this everyday and without the barrier of a screen. I don’t know how they do it.

Have you been watching the Shield? I’m a little torn with the fact that they’ve made Forest Whitaker’s character so sleazy. It makes Mackey slipping through his fingers almost too enjoyable. But, because Whitaker’s character is so sleazy and obsessed I can’t stop watching to see the tables turn. It is fun watching Mackey slither though.

Did anyone else cringe or hang their head in embarrassment when Harrison Ford did that Dr. Seuss intro for the Super Bowl? What were you thinking Indy?

What I really miss about old school satellite TV is that you could find those odd and unintentionally funny channels from different countries.

That’s it for now. I hope to see most of you in Dallas.