They Were So Right When They Said Robots Would Take Over The World

If you are a frequent reader of Engadget, then you have already seen this. Still, it's kinda scary and pretty amazing. The video below is of a microbot pushing a little ball around. Not too big of a deal. We've seen those robot war shows do more than that. True, but take a look at the measurement again in the bottom left hand corner. Yes, that reads 500 micrometers as in half of a millimeter. Apparently that field the microbot is pushing the ball around is smaller than a grain of rice. So instead of a big ass robot walking around and killing all mankind, maybe it will a nanobot crawling into our brain and controlling us. I apologize for adding that creepy bit about the brain, but whose says it can't be done ten, fifteen, or twenty years from now?

New Toy!

This weekend my contract with T-mobile expired. What does that mean? That means it's rebate on a new phone time! As Mandy would say, "Whoo Hoo!" I had a great time with my Sony Ericsson K750. It handled mp3's fantastically and took really soild pictures. Yet, I felt it was time to move up to a grown up phone. I really needed a smart phone. That narrowed down my options to a couple Blackberrys and a couple other T-mobile branded ones. After a bit of research and hands on, I went with this: The Blackberry Pearl. The SureType function needed because it doesn't have a full QWERTY keyboard concerned me, but it actually predicts really well what you want to type. So with that and it's compact size, and media functions I was sold. A couple days later and I've come to really enjoy it. It's not perfect, but it does what I need it to and does it well. It seems this relationship has started of well.

Um, Can I Get It Without The Phone?

While waiting for a cable guy that never came, I refreshed Engadget's live coverage of Steve Jobs' keynote. See this is what tech geeks like me do. So, the big news other than Apple TV was the announcement of the long anticipated iPhone.From simply a tech geek this is pretty sexy. That big touch sensitive screen. So pretty. My problem. Why can't I get just an iPod that looks like that? Kick out the phone guts and put is a 30 or 60 GB hard drive and you are ready to go. Wouldn't the TV shows and movies be much more viewable on this screen? This is the video iPod everyone has been waiting for, so why limit this design to just the iPhone? I guess I have to wait a little longer to upgrade to a new iPod. I would jump at the chance if my iPod looked like this.

We Can Make It Better, Stronger, Faster...

I really like my Nano. I like its simplicity. I like its form. I even like the uniqueness the scratches give the device. Yet, over time I have become a little disappointed by the operating system. Before the Nano, I had the monstrosity called Dell DJ, and a Creative Zen Micro. While the mechanism of the Zen isn't as accurate as the Nano, there are some things that the Zen does that the Nano can't. Why can't I delete a song from within my Nano. Often I buy an album and just throw it on the Nano to listen to it. With the Zen if I came across a song I didn't like I just deleted it. With the Nano I have to connect it to my computer and then delete it there. Also, when I have my player set on shuffle and come across an artist I want to hear other songs from, why can't I access those songs with a push of a button like on my old Zen? Why can't I add songs to a playlist when actually listening to the song? I do enjoy my Nano, but there are things I miss about my Zen. All this to say that in a couple years when I want a new player I might not go back to the iPod. I probably won't go back to Creative with their Zen V Plus (too cute and toyish). I guess I'm saying they have yet to create the perfect mp3 player in my eyes. This is what they need to make:

1. Sleek design and click wheel of an iPod.
2. Operating system that is a more streamlined version of Creative's.
3. It should be able to work with both Mac and PC
4. Line-in recording and a voice recorder
5. There should be no limits on what formats it can play. This is for those hardcore OOG fans.
6. If you want, it can play video but that means the screen has to be at least Gigabeat size. It also need to have a video out.
7. It needs Bluetooth so you can wirelessly transfer songs from your computer and eventually headphones.

Someone needs to get on it too. They have a two years to make one. Actually, if they came up with one sooner I'd probably get it anyway. I don't think it will be the Zune, either.

Ramblings

I apologize for the small gap between posts. I got a new cell phone and I have been distracted with creating ring tones out of my MP3's. It's a very daunting task trying to decide what song fits each person in my contacts. I'm currently debating between "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" and "Copacabana" for MOL Jr. Thanks to the freeware Audacity the actual editing has been pretty easy.

I have also been distracted by the constant barrage of close games that have taken place during March Madness. Of course George Mason sank any chance I had of winning the office pool. I was so close. I just needed UConn to win out. That's all I needed! Alas it was not to be. I was torn between rooting for the underdog and rooting for some extra spending money. Anyway, every time I sat down to write I'd hear the announcers scream about something, and of course I'd grab my Tivo remote to see what happened. Then I'd get sucked into the game and end up watching it till the end. That's excuse No. 2.

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector made a little over $7 mil on its opening weekend. Why and How? Come on people, you must know better. Of course this is coming from the guy who is going to pay money to see Slither. Maybe I should just shut up. I am also really looking forward to Brick which opens in LA and NY this weekend. That should be able to balance out Slither.

Another big weekend is coming up. I have another fantasy baseball draft, but there is something bigger happening this weekend. Wrestlemania! It's the only time I click the "buy now" button on my remote. Usually, it's not worth it even though it is the Super Bowl of wrestling. I will say I'm looking forward to the "Money in the Bank" ladder match. Watching the elderly Findlay and Ric Flair have to climb ladders could be highly entertaining or very frightening.

I've been playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence for the PS2 off and on. I've always been reluctant to pick it up because I'm not a big fan of the stealth games. But with it getting a crap load of great reviews I decided to pick it up used. I'm pretty impressed. There are still times that I just want to stop crawling in the weeds and shoot everything. The story and its characters are weird enough to keep me involved. I really didn't mind spending nearly an hour and a half trying to snipe one of the bosses. Especially since you are able to snipe the guy's parrot if you can find it.

One thing I still marvel at is how more open I am to other foods. Up until grad school I wouldn't think of eating Indian food. Now I can't get enough. I credit both my job and my selection in women. Being as accommodating as I am, I could never say "no" to where they wanted to eat. It kind of forced me into trying new things. Better than looking like a schmuck. I still may not like sushi, but I've tried it.

How long does balsamic vinegar dressing keep? I just realized I have two unopened bottles sitting on the shelf. They've been there almost a year and a half. That's probably not good.

I should probably take down my little Christmas tree too.

Ramblings (Early Edition)

Because I’ll be on may way to the big D for my first official visit we are going to have to do the ramblings a day early.

Through the magic of sitemeter I’ve determined that around 20 of my hits this week have been from people looking for info about Gillette’s sample of its Fusion razors. To keep those hits coming let me give a little review. I can’t tell the difference between five and four blades. It works fine and I was glad I didn’t reenact the mirror scene from Poltergeist. Still, five is overkill. Actually four is probably overkill.

Do the Grammy’s matter anymore? I mean other than boosting record sales for a week. Do kids in their parent’s basement or garage pick up a guitar or microphone with dreams of a Grammy statue? Does an artist ever feel validated by a Grammy.

I’ve come to realize the problem with modern R&B. Too often they try to hitch onto the hip-hop money train. R&B needs to get back to what made Motown, Stax, and Muscle Shoals artists so great. I don’t say this as a knock on hip-hop. I just think R&B can be better if it didn’t lean so heavily on hip-hop.

Just to warn you all I signed up for fantasy baseball this week.

This was one of those non-stop busy weeks at work. I chalk it up to the work gods making sure I earn the Friday I’m taking off. Part of the problem of this job is what you end up having to see. It’s not like a horror movie. No matter how good the makeup job they can never equal the violence and trauma of a real murder. Some of the worst I’ve seen came across my desk this week. Color pictures are always worse. What really amazes me is that Medical Examiners see this everyday and without the barrier of a screen. I don’t know how they do it.

Have you been watching the Shield? I’m a little torn with the fact that they’ve made Forest Whitaker’s character so sleazy. It makes Mackey slipping through his fingers almost too enjoyable. But, because Whitaker’s character is so sleazy and obsessed I can’t stop watching to see the tables turn. It is fun watching Mackey slither though.

Did anyone else cringe or hang their head in embarrassment when Harrison Ford did that Dr. Seuss intro for the Super Bowl? What were you thinking Indy?

What I really miss about old school satellite TV is that you could find those odd and unintentionally funny channels from different countries.

That’s it for now. I hope to see most of you in Dallas.

Holy Crap! They Actually Did It!

This afternoon I recieved a package. Inside contained a miracle of modern science. I recieved a free sample of the Gillette Fusion. Why is a razor so amazing? They actually went of up to five blades. What also is amazing it that "The Onion" predicted it. Seeing the razor, the title of the Onion column were the first things that came to mind. Yes, I'm going to use it. It has five blades!
Five!

Ramblings

Let’s get the baseball out of the way first. The Cubs finally traded Corey “I Have Five Tools” Patterson to the Orioles for some mid-level prospects. Some have been a little concerned that this might turn into another Lou Brock from Ernie Broglio trade. Which is perhaps not only the worst trade the Cubs have ever made, but it’s perhaps the worst trade in the history of baseball. I don’t think that’s going to happen. The difference is that Patterson doesn’t have the drive or a thick enough skin. If he had gone to play winter ball like management suggested and lit it up down there, he would still probably be a Cub. Patterson isn’t completely at fault either. Once again the Cubs have shown they have no patience when it comes to their young players. Wood and Prior being prime examples as well of the Cubs pushing their superstars of the future through the ranks before they are ready. I’m really surprised the Cubs even got something for Patterson.

There has been hesitation by the Cubs to extend the contracts of Hendry and Baker. Hendry I think should stay. He’s done a pretty good job fleecing some teams and getting what he needs. He has made mistakes but I think he’s done a solid job. Baker, as I’ve said before needs to go. He’s too much about people loving Dusty that I think discipline slips on the team. Don’t even get me started on his handling of a pitching staff.

How many of you out there bought the new iMac over the holidays only to find out a few months later that there is a newer version with a faster processor at the same price? Have we come to the point where the instantaneous turn around on new gadgets is completely accepted? I’m as guilty as anyone in the fact that when it comes to electronics, “new” has become such a selling point that the word has lost meaning. Also, the name of Apple's new laptop is awful. MacBook Pro? Apple can do better than that. It sounds like they just pulled names from a hat and put them together.

I would though like to give some big ups to the program Delicious Library for Mac. There's not a better program to keep track of all my CD's, DVD's, books, and video games. The borrowers list is a nice addition as well. This program and Comic Life have sold me on Mac.

For those who keep asking, I do sometimes think “What if?” when it comes to Melissa. I then quickly come to my senses.

I’ve been meaning to post this. This is my favorite Christmas card of 2005. Actually it’s in the top five easily. The thing is none of us in the office knew of Dean’s talent.

The new Beauty and the Geek season kicked off last night, and I’m fairly pleased with the way things have begun. I know it sounds like a mean setup, but trust me it’s a very sweet show. My favorite geek so far is the kid Tyson, who solved a Rubik’s Cube behind his back in a couple minutes. The girl Tristan is currently the favorite beauty. She gave a nice speech to nerds about her own insecurity. Yes, I realize how gay this makes me sound. But I don’t care. You know what else? I watch Olympic figure skating sometimes. Yeah!

Two new reasons why I love my sister Mandy: 1. She’s geeky enough to be excited for me about my new LCD monitor. 2. She used the line, “Stay on target. Stay on target,” in a conversation we had during Christmas break. She makes me so proud.

After playing it at Ben K’s, and talking with Bob, I’ve fully come to terms that I’m waiting for the PS3 and not picking up the Xbox 360 till later. I should really probably wait till I get a HDTV before I purchase either of them. So, some time in 2020 I should be able to pick them up.

DENIED!

So I came to work today empty handed, and I’m terribly frustrated by it. Part of the frustration is that I’m running on two hours of sleep. The other part is because four times this morning I’ve gotten my hopes up only to see them dashed. Here’s a little rundown of my day.

1AM: I fell asleep with images of Call of Duty 2 and Perfect Dark Zero running through my head with a million polygon count. I had planned on going to bed earlier, but around 9PM I felt the spirit calling me to clean my bathroom sink. Three hours later my whole bathroom is spotless, and I’m just beginning to clean the kitchen.

3AM: I wake up, shower, grab Pepsi, and drive to the Wal-Mart a couple miles from my house. To my excitement I see less than twenty people waiting in line. Jackpot! In fact I’m actually number 20 in line. I know this because after waiting about 25 minutes a guy in a security jacket yells at me for not putting my name on the list. Now I don’t know if he was even an actually security guard, but he wouldn’t shut-up about me trying to jump ahead of people. Biting my tongue, I wait for about three hours.

6:10AM: With 7AM coming around the corner my fellow losers begin to form a line according to our number on the list. Excitement is building. Soon I will have my hands on that white plastic electronic time waster I’ve saved my money for. The “Security” guard then starts championing those who waited longer than me to not allow other to skip in front of them. At this point I would like to point out that he was at the front of the line. I’m certain he wasn’t the real security guard, and was just using it to weasel his way to the front. I imagined that once the doors opened he’d yell “Suckers!” and dash into the store to buy an Xbox 360. I would never find out.

6:25AM: The manager steps outside, taking the list from the “Security” guard. He glances at the list and then looks up. “I’m sorry. I only have fourteen.” The Wal-Mart in downtown Long Beach only has fourteen? Shit. Now I really don’t have a problem with them only having fourteen. If that’s all Microsoft sent them, then that’s all they have. My problem is that since I arrived the manager was constantly letting the morning shift workers in the front door. Did it not cross his mind once to tell us he only had 14? If he had told us before hand, I could have driven to a different store rather than wasting three hours. So, I left in huff, trying to figure out which stores I could hit next.

6:40AM: I pull into the Toys R Us. Only eight people in line! Sweetness. I ran up to the line. They all had that solemn “Hate to burst your bubble” look. The Toys R Us only had eight. Everyone else waiting in line had already left to find other stores.

6:55AM: After cussing up a storm with words my car should never hear, I arrive at a shopping center that has a Circuit City, CompUSA, and Sears. They are all certified Xbox 360 dealers, and they are all right next to each other. At this point I have a decision to make. Which store to wait in front of? I picked Sears because it had the shortest line with 15. CompUSA had around 18 people, and Circuit City was pushing around 40. So, I put my name on the list, and wait in line…again.

7:05AM: I walk over to the CompUSA line to see if they know how many the store is carrying. The rumor has it at around eleven. Eleven! What the hell are you thinking Microsoft? I move on to the Circuit City line, and ask the same question. Nobody knows. I scurry back to my original line.

7:15AM: Some 40 year old lady with “crack baby” teeth won’t shut up in my line. She’s keeps trying to tell funny anecdotes about her job at Taco Bell. The punch line to one of her stories is “He said Compton Hood not Captain Hook. I said I’m Robin Hood.” I should still be in bed right now.

7:16AM: Some Sears employee slaps a sign on the window indicating they have no new Xbox. Mother Hubbard!

7:18AM: I’m standing in the Circuit City line. I’m around number 50 at this point. Now I still have some hope left for two reasons. First, the Best Buy had 60 for their midnight sale. Surely, Circuit City would have around that many. Second, a guy shows up who actually had an employee wait in line for him. He said that they told him they had around 100. Finally!

7:35AM: I find myself dispensing all by Xbox 360 knowledge to a couple grandmothers and a few Dads. Soon a few other people start asking questions. At a certain point I was tempted to raise my hands and yell, “Can you dig it?” But I assumed the reference wouldn’t be picked up.

8:15AM: The doors to the store open. Everyone is ordered into a single file line. Once again the excitement builds. Two employees come out with a stack of tickets each to pass out to those in line. They didn’t even get close to me. They only had twenty-one. At least I wasn’t the only one going home empty handed. I did leave though with a nearly bursting bladder, and half of a once full pack of cigarettes.

What a wonderful way to spend a Tuesday morning. Perhaps I could have planned a little bit more. Perhaps I should have never gone to bed. Perhaps the manager could’ve been considerate enough to let those waiting in line know how many they had. Perhaps I should learn to be patient.

Hunt for the Elusive White X!

This upcoming Monday through Tuesday I will be going on an adventure of sorts. I have been given a quest that I’m not certain I can complete. Monday at midnight my search will begin. My prey, my trophy, my destiny is the X-box 360. My soul has waged war with itself over should I or shouldn’t I wait till Christmas for the X-box 360. I can tell you now that the dark side has won. I have succumbed to my impatience and that fallen angel Dominic’s beguiling voice. My heart has turned, and nothing can bring me back. I shall retrieve my own X-box 360 from the clutches of those pimply teenage cave trolls, and spoiled princes. From the Spanish style homes of Manhattan Beach to grassless yards of Long Beach I will search wide for my X-box 360! I make this promise to you! If I do not have that X-box 360 by 10am on Nov. 22 then I will…simply have to wait like every other normal person. Perhaps I will do a post on my adventure? That should bore everyone.

Ramblings

I have 16 days and I’m still stuck on a costume for Halloween. The problem is last year’s costume was so genius that I don’t think I can even come close to matching it. Last year I went as my Friendster profile. It met all of my Halloween costume criteria: minimal dressing up, easy to make, and great conversation piece. I was originally going to go as a giant, and that’s my fall back plan, but it doesn’t have the zing of my Friendster profile. My friend is going as the guys that pass out the strip club flyers on the streets of Vegas. That’s brilliant.

Speaking of Halloween, I’m heading to the Queen Mary Shipwreck Halloween Terrorfest this Saturday. I was rather excited, till I saw that half the event is just a couple clubs. Sigh. I hope the mazes they have set up rule, or I’m asking for my money back. At least I’ll have something else to write about than my youth on Monday.

The playoffs now have three teams (ChiSox, Cards, & Astros) that I really don’t like, and the Angels who I’m indifferent to. Yet, I think they all offer intriguing match-ups that will keep me glued to the TV. I honestly have no idea who will come out on top. I thought the Cards had the upper hand on Houston, but their bullpen is shakier than I originally thought. This might be the beginning of small ball baseball as Gammons wrote about in his column.

Doesn’t Cameron Crowe’s “Elizabethtown” look a lot like “Jerry Maguire?” Hot shot shoe designer/sports agent loses everything and meets a cute blond (Dunst/Zellweger) that helps him put his life in order. Does this mean I won’t see it? Of course not. I’ll still go with the hope of another “Say Anything” and I’ll leave disappointed. Yet I’ll probably still enjoy it once I get past my disappointment.

In case you haven’t seen, Apple’s put out a new iPod that plays video now. You can even download shows from ABC and music videos. No, I did not rush out and buy it. Yes, I was slightly tempted.

For when you’re bored out of your skull. You have to place everything on the cubs in the right order. Each object ends up working with the other objects when done correctly. I offer only one hint: The man goes first.

I like my neighborhood. It’s a little dirty. It has its fair share of homeless. It’s guaranteed that twice a week the cops our out. It does though have its charm. It definitely feels like a neighborhood. The homeless that hang around are regulars. Everything I need is a very short drive away. Roscoe’s is half a mile from my doorstep. I’m three blocks from the beach. I do have one major complaint. There is absolutely no parking, especially on street sweeping nights. It’s getting to the point where I’m losing even more faith in humanity because of the parking situation. People constantly take up two parking spots because they’re too scared to parallel park. For the first time in my life I’m tempted to go to the neighborhood meetings to speak my mind about the parking. All it takes parking permits for those who actually live in the neighborhood. I’d gladly pay a small sum every month if it would mean I didn’t have drive around for an hour to find a parking spot.

I've heard rumors that after Arrested Development is going to be cancelled after the Theron story arc ends. How sad.

I had this conversation with my father:

Dad: You know a student from your old high school is some actress.
Me: Who?
Dad: A girl named Marge I think? She changed her name. She was one of my students.
Me: Is she in anything?
Dad: She's that Lost show.
Me: Maggie Grace?!
Dad: Yeah. That's it. I think.
Me: And how long have you known this?

How the hell did this happen?

So I woke up this morning and was packing my “man purse” for work when I noticed an iBook sitting on my desk. What the hell? I bought the Nano a few weeks ago and now I have an iBook? Sure, I needed a small laptop, but why did I buy Apple? My research pointed to the iBook being a solid deal, but I’ve always worked within the Bill Gates cult. It’s so strange having a well designed piece of machinery. What does this mean? Should I feel guilty that I still have my Dell desktop? Do I have to now bash all things Gatesian including my Xbox? Wait! I have a "man purse?" I don’t know who I am anymore.

UNCLE!

I give! Those regular readers and friends know that I have never been a big fan of the Apple. Yes, they were all very well designed products. They always seemed to be overpriced. I always saw Apple as the luxury car of the computer industry. Sure I would look good with it, but I could get more features for less money going another route. I had a particularly strong distain for the iPod. My first Mp3 player was my Dell "ghetto pod." That was then followed by my Zen Micro. I still love my Zen Micro, and would have gladly purchased the new Zen Micro with the color screen. The problem is it still hasn't come out. So fastforward to last Thursday. There I am checking my e-mail when I click on one with the subject: iPod nano. I will admit I was smitten. There it was with it's beautiful color screen and it was so tiny. So incredibly tiny. So, I cried "uncle!" I went and bought one. I still really like my Zen Micro, but the iPod nano has yet to leave my side. Yes, I feel incredibly guilty about it in all respects. But come on! Look at it!

Mini Ramblings

I was sitting in the Atlanta airport eating Popeyes, when the Kanye West rant came on the TV. It was such a surreal moment. It is also one of the funniest things on TV this year. If you haven't seen Mike Myer's squirm click here. I kept thinking this would have made a great SNL skit.

Speaking of the Atlanta airport, I must give it big ups. It is probably my favorite major city airport. It has wide walkways, decent eating selection, PSP store, and the greatest thing of all: smoking rooms. Getting off a five hour flight with a man jabbing his feet into you can make you really want a cigarette. It also has a nice community feeling. Everyone mooches a light off the guy who snuck one on his plane. We are all there together, slowly killing ourselves. No, I never talk to a single one of them. LAX has nothing on Atlanta's airport.

The gadget whore in me was trembling with excitement when I saw the new Apple Nano. I've tried my best to stay away from Apple, but this might have broken my will.

Next Tuesday my video game buying drought ends. Burnout Revenge for all consoles and Burnout Legends for PSP come out that day. Yes, I will buy them both. It's the greatest video game racing franchise out there. Stick it Grand Turismodorks! Your game bores. Then the week after that "We Love Katamari" comes out. JOY!

Ramblings

I realize this is two “Ramblings” posts in three days, but I didn’t do one last Friday. Besides, I need to mail in a few posts every now and then. No I haven’t always been mailing it in. Ok. About 90% of these are mailed in.

I’ve got a little crush on one of the hostesses at The Pizza Place. It’s a decent Italian restaurant that’s right across the street from my place. Because I’m a lazy bastard, I end up going there about three times a week. We’re now at the point where she’s already got my food bagged up when I come in. How sweet of her, and how pathetic of me. I’m often a sucker for ladies in the food business.

When recruiting, does Coach Krzyzewski just mail out tapes now of the AE ad, or is confident enough in the airtime it’s received? I imagine there’s a need for “earmuffs” every time it airs in an opposing coach’s house.







Kudos to FOX for playing the ass out of Arrested Development before the new season. They’ve been airing eps every night at 12:30. They even did a five ep mini-marathon one night. So, if you need to catch up, now’s the time. It’s great to see FOX trying to build up the fan base, but 12:30 is the best they can do?

For every pair of shoes I buy I have to add $70 to $100 to have a lift added to the sole. So even a $30 pair of sneaks really end up costing me $100. Also, to get these professionally done by an orthopedic company I need a prescription. For shoe lifts! Can you overdose on them? Are people holed up in abandoned buildings jonsing for a shoe lifts? I hate shopping for shoes.

I still haven’t listened to that John Davis CD I bought. Someday Mr. Davis. Someday.

When I was in high school I snapped my fore arm in half wile skateboarding. I snapped in back into place, and vowed to never ride a skateboard again. This dislike led to me creating T-shirt designs of skateboarders dying in miserable ways. I called it the Skate & Die T-shirts. Because I had absolutely no money, I was never able to make my T-shirts. I still have that yearning to make T-shirt designs. Probably won’t be Skate & Die though.
Maybe magical elves living in magical mushrooms.

The two scariest movies I’ve ever seen: Exorcist and Sleepaway Camp. I assume most have seen Exorcist. If you haven’t seen Sleepaway Camp, DON’T! The twist ending still haunts me. Ugh.

Who is going to be the moronic team that gives Nomar a contract? I bet it’ll be the Cubs…again. Could you imagine if the Cubs still had D-Train and Jon Garland along with Prior and Zambrano? Ok we wouldn’t have Lee, but still.

I’ve come to truly love my Zen Micro MP3 player. The pop culture status of the iPod mini did tempt me. I eventually came to my senses and realized the importance of a removable battery and its alien like blue glow. Now when is the Zen Micro Photo going to finally hit the market?

I wonder how much better these posts would be if I didn’t write them at two in the morning, and I was sober?

Have a good weekend.

Ramble On!

So, I'm figuring this is probably going to be the format of the blog. I wanted it to be something a little more concrete than random topics. But as any of my friends will tell you, I'm all random all the time. So enjoy. I'm still working on a new title for the blog. I kind of like the current title. But I think it makes me look like more of an asshole than I really am. Any ideas?

You have 10-1 chance of enjoying this post. Wait. Now it’s 20-1.

I came to the realization that the world would be a better place if we were given odds on everything. In case you haven’t noticed gambling is huge. It has been for the last few years. You can gamble on anything at anytime. But the aspect of odds should be fully implemented into our lives. I think it would help us all make better decisions. The first obvious implementation would be in the drug industry. You know all the commercials where they tell you that there is a chance you could grow a third arm? Why don’t they give you odds? Are my odds 5-1 or 50-1 that I will get a bloody nose and heart arrhythmia? Do I get a 100-1 on the probability of having a 4 hour hard on? This is of course on obvious implementation. But odds could be given in all aspects of life. The uses are limitless. See that attractive girl across the way? Wouldn’t you be more willing to take a chance if you knew there were 6-2 odds that she would like you? This can break down into different tiers as well. You would get odds on: second date, getting laid, marriage, and laughing at your favorite joke. This doesn’t take away the element of surprise. The Butler’s and the Vermont’s of the world still win sometimes. Like they say it’s not about making the safe bet but the smart bet. What concerns me is the criminal element. There is a possibility that it could deter crime. If somebody saw that the odds on robbing a bank were 2-1 that they would spend 20 years in a prison being some sumo size junkie’s bitch, they would think twice. Wouldn’t they? Though I assume that since the criminal element has a gambling streak running through them, they may not care. Also, what happens when someone comes across 3-1 to one odds of getting away with a robbery? 3-1 on getting over $100,000? How do the criminals or desperate walk away from that? I have not fully thought out the implementation of getting odds on everything you do, but I’m leaning towards something along the lines of the Terminator’s where it could ID people and then locate targets within its vision. That way there is no stupid gadget to wear, just a simple implant into the brain, and probably some new kind of eyeball that would show you the odds. Brilliant isn’t it?

Make kids eat their vegetables

A discussion came up at the office on the topic of awful candy. My top five worst candies are:

6. Razzles: It is supposed to be candy and then gum. In reality it’s neither.
5. Root beer candy: I love rootbeer, and that’s not root beer.
4. Jujubes: When I was a kid I got these at the movie theater. They were awful the first time, but I thought that was because they were stale. So, I got a box the next time with the same result. It wasn’t till my third disgusting box that I realized the five hour chew time was intentional. One could easily last you a whole movie so why buy a box?
3. Wax Bottles: Is there anything more disappointing than chewing through tasteless wax in order to drink crappy kool-aid?
2. Good N Plenty: I chose this over all black licorice candy because of its deceptive advertising. Growing up as a kid you know how to avoid the black licorice. It’s black! Black jelly beans being the perfect example. I knew not to eat those. But when Good N Plenty came in their purple and white colors I was suckered into eating black licorice. Bastards! Also, I’m pretty sure black licorice candy wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the Sambuca industry. The only way you could be a Sambuca drinker is if you ate black licorice as a kid. So please stop trying to sell me on Sambuca. I hated it as a kid. I’m going to hate it now.
1. Circus Peanuts: This pale orange marshmallow(?) candy is clearly the worst candy ever made. I know people who actually like the previously mentioned candies, but I know of not one single person who actually enjoys these. On a whole, when you take in consistency, taste, color, odor, and ability to survive nuclear fallout this is easily the worst candy I’ve ever eaten.

This all made me think that if this was all I knew of candy, vegetables weren’t really so bad. Halloween would have sucked. There would be no candy industry, if these products were all we knew of candy. See, these products exist under the assumtion that all candy is good. People wouldn't fall for Good N Plenty if all we knew of candy was black licorice.

It is official: I’m a gadget whore!

I have always had a fascination with electronics. I tried to be the kid that could build his own computer from a shoebox and an old hamster wheel, but I never had a patience for it. I took those Commodore 64 classes during summer when I was a kid. I even tried to program my own Zork adventure on my step-father’s computer. I was unsuccessful because of inability to plan ahead resulting in always getting the program stuck in a loop. I’ve always sat on the cusp of the geek and trendy worlds of electronics. And I will admit have secretly wished I had the geek know how to write programs and fool around with electronics. Again it comes down to patience. Even with my fascination of all things electronic I wasn’t really a gadget whore…till I could afford it. Yes I have an X-box, PS2, digital camera, Pocket PC, 2 MP3 Players, XM Radio, but I was never quick to jump onto the bandwagon. Heck it wasn’t till last Christmas that I got an Xbox. I was never an “early adopter.” That is till now. In case you haven’t heard a new handheld gaming system called the PSP came out last Thursday. And yes I was one of those who waited inline for the store to open to get one. I had planned on getting one. I even pre-ordered one for the second shipment. But patience lost out and I couldn’t wait an extra week. So I waited Thursday morning with my fellow gadget and gaming whores. I became an early adopter of a PSP. Yes it will go down in price as the days wane on, but for once I could afford to be an early adopter, and I am completely enthralled with my PSP. I can’t wait to find myself somewhere outside my house that I’m bored enough to play it.

Speaking of video games

With the horrible months of February and January behind us the month of March has brought us two “Game of the year” contenders. "Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory" you know of if you game. But I picked up "God of War" the other day, and it’s fantastic. First of all, I’m not much of a “story” involved gamer. I’m the guy who is thankful that there is a button to skip the cut scenes, but not with this game. I actually became involved and never thought once about skipping. The combat controls make for easy pick up and play. The learning curve of the game progresses well enough where you constantly feel challenged at some point on each level. There are some fixed camera issues but they are tolerable since if you had control of the camera you would miss out on some of the beautiful graphics this game has. It’s easily the best looking PS2 game made, and the loading times are fantastic too. One word of caution. The game is very, very, very bloody. There are also some strong adult situations involved. As they say in the movies. It’s a hard “M” rating.


Finally…

With less than a week till baseball’s Opening Day, my spankin’ new Sandberg jersey came in the mail. It’s going to take awhile till I get comfortable enough to wear it without the fear of it getting dirty. It is a beautiful sight though. With baseball season so close, I should just let you few readers know that baseball posts will be popping up regularly. If I could warn you when such posts would happen I would. I apologize now for the inconvenience.