Eggs and Ham Annual

This past Saturday I had the pleasure of attending the inaugural Eggs and Ham Annual. Which is basically a party that was thrown by one of our writers Sunil. I've been to a couple big Hollywood parties where people like Vin Diesel and Kirsten Dunst have showed up. I still have awful flashbacks from attending those things. This party though was the closest I think I've come to some sort of insider Hollywood party. The kind where you are personally invited along with other famous people. This was still on the fringe, because the celebrities ranged from Alicia Witt, to Camryn Manheim, to Det. Terri Stivers from Homicide, to a couple of our actors. No first name only celebrities.

Anyway, the party called for the always vague cocktail attire. I went with the suit to be safe. The problem with going with the suit is that I have no hat to accompany the suit. That lead to the comment I heard the most that night, "I didn't even recognize you without the hat." The comment easily cracked the 15 range within my first hour there. That lead to me hanging out with strangers in order to avoid that comment. Which lead to me spending most of my time hanging out with a girl named Monica whom I had met once before at one of Sunil's other parties. And that lead to such comments from stranger as, "So how did you guys first meet?" or "How long have you two been dating?" or "How are things going with that?" or "Do you love her?" or "Are you going to get some tonight?" The last comment came from an annoying highly intoxicated close talker who everyone kept trying to avoid or pass off to someone else. Somehow, I got stuck talking to him twice. My reply to his comment was "If be "some" you mean Cheez-its, then yes. Because I love Cheez-its." It's always easy to be smart ass to someone who won't remember the comment two minutes later. Also, this Monica girl talks less than I do. Numerous times I had to make a strong effort to carry the conversation. Maybe she was just struck dumb by my dimples when I smile. I've come to realize they wield more power than I ever thought they could. My dimples are on par with Clooney's "Aw shucks" head bob, Pitt's half smile/half smirk, and Matthew Fox's "I'm not constipated. I'm crying." face.

Other conversations throughout the evening included the genius of Guitar Hero II, why had I never made a move on another girl even though she was sending me all the signals, pros and cons of dessert, movies, why is it so difficult for women to be friends with each other, and super powers.

I discovered something about myself when discussing super powers. A guy was discussing some 7 page essay he wrote on a whim detailing all the specifics of the super powers he would like to have. Yes, even I found that a little too geeky for me. Yes, I was tempted to put up an argument that having so many different super powers that are not based on one main ability is a little preposterous. Don't even throw out Sylar from Heroes as a defense because his multiple abilities is still rooted into the one central ability that he knows how everything works. Sorry where was I? So, when asked what super power I would like to have, I quickly answered teleportation. He then asked me more specific questions of did I have to picture where I wanted to go, and what needed to happen to keep me from teleporting into someone or something? At that moment I realized if someone asked me about potential Presidential candidates or some issue like health care, or my opinion of French New Wave's impact on cinema it would take awhile for me to compile my thoughts and stumble through my explanation and ideas. But if you ask me about how would I make my super power safe to those around me, I will have no difficulty explaining my thoughts and ideas in an organized manner. Yes, I find this kind of sad.

Again my fear of missing anything that might happen resulted in me getting home around 3am. Overall, I had an very enjoyable time at the Eggs and Ham Annual. And this post fell apart by the time I mentioned Vin Diesel.